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#40026 - 05/17/01 10:04 PM Re: I'M MAD AS HELL.....
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
goflyakite ; GET MAD, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT.
FEEL ALL OF YOUR EMOTIONS, I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IT IS OK BY MORE THAN ONE OTHER PERSON.
mANY WOULD LEAD MEN TO BELIEVE WE SHOULD NOT EXPRESS FEELINGS. LEAVE ME A MEASSAGE ANY TIME.

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#40027 - 05/18/01 09:22 AM Re: I'M MAD AS HELL.....
Anonymous
Unregistered


DEAR M.J.....THANKS FOR THE NOTE OF CONCERN. I AM MAD...MAD AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THINGS HAPPEN, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS! I SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO LET MYSELF GO AND DO SOMETHING STUPID...BUT SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T HELP IT. THE LAST SHRINK I HAD WAS A FRIEND FROM SCHOOL LONG AGO, AND HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME WHILE I WAS TALKING TO HIM AT HIS OFFICE. I FELT SO CHEAP AND JUST FROZE WHEN HE SAID I SHOULD LAY DOWN AND CLOSE MY EYES. WELL, I DID AND THINGS HAPPENED. I TRIED TO TELL HIM THAT I SHOULDN'T DO THIS BUT HE SAID IT WAS GOOD THERAPY FOR ME TO RELAX AND JUST BE MYSELF AND LET A FRIEND HELP. WHY DID I THINK THAT WOULD HELP??? I'M STILL TO VULNERABLE. I'M STILL A JERK WITH A HARD ON AND OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW MY ASS FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND!MAYBE I SHOULDN'T WRITE THIS STUFF HERE, FOR ALL TO SEE. IT ONLY BRINGS OTHERS DOWN! I'M SORRY FOR THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME, I'M DOOMED............... WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO............I AM GOING TO SEE ANOTHER SHRINK NEXT WEEK.....MAYBE THIS ONE MIGHT BE WILLING TO HELP ME INSTEAD OF HIMSELF!?!?!?


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#40028 - 05/19/01 05:20 PM Re: I'M MAD AS HELL.....
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
hey go,

it was not your fault, you could not say no, you were a little kid, you were sposed to be protected from crap like that, none of it was your fault.

when i am bummed i think that my life is irreperably broken and the best i can hope for is not to pass it on to others, when i am feeling ok i realize that i have done a ot of good and that i am a good person and that life is ok, i believe your a good guy and when you were a kid you got manipulated into doing stuff you did not want to do and you were not able to stop it, nothing more.

Go easy on yourself a little bit, you did not have the same brain then that you have now, you did not have the same ability to think things through then that you have now, you were just a little kid.

its gonna get better, keep talking,

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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