Welcome to MS.
I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.
Please do not give up your desire to heal from the abuses you endured because of ignorant "clinicians" and family members that are afraid to see past their own denial.
It is unexcusable that the mental health board (ethics committee?) refused to take your complaint seriously. I can't think of a more egregious violation of ethics than for the board overseeing clinicians failing to uphold their guidelines for ethical practice and for failing to accept reports of unethical conduct.
There are thousands of guys here who know you are speaking the truth, about your brother and about your wife. Men are abused by women every day. Aggravatingly, there are too many in the therapeutic field with their own issues with men and who refuse to accept that men are abused by women. Worse, they cause harm by not only denying such abuses take place, but they blame the man who dares come forward seeking help.
Here at MS you will not find people doubting your truth or telling you that "it didn't happen," "men can't be abused" or other messages which diminish, deny and harm.
Sometimes those closest to you - family - are the ones least willing, or able, to accept that the abuse happened. Whether they are stuck in their own guilt or denial doesn't really matter. The result is the same. They would rather deny what you know to be true than to face the painful facts that abuse happened and they either did not know, or they turned a blind eye to it and they failed to intervene.
You may never get your family to accept that the abuse happened and
that your abuser was your brother. Whether or not you continue to try to get them to acknowledge and accept this is up to you. Sometimes it isn't worth the emotional toll it takes on you to try to get them to accept that which they have a vested interest to deny.
I know you are leery of reaching out to another therapist, but working through the issues of abuse, regardless of the form or the ages at which it happened (or is still happening), is something best done with the help of a therapist. I suggest you find a therapist, preferably one who specializes in trauma and/ or sexual abuse. The Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping
will give you a list of questions to ask a prospective therapist. Psychology Today
has listings for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.
As a clinician I hope you can see the inherit danger of the adage "physician heal thyself."
In addition to therapy and this site, there are several books you might find useful.
Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Abuse by Mic Hunter
Victims No Longer by Mike Lew.
I am certian others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore
Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.
At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.
We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles.
They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in September.
Again, welcome to MS.