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#400361 - 06/13/12 06:43 PM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
RollerCoaster Offline


Registered: 10/23/11
Posts: 47
Loc: PA, USA
Hi Hero,

Porn has screwed me for the last 12 years(i am 30 now). I have been single throughout my life courtesy porn. For the last 4 years, i have been trying to let go of this addiction. Initially, i took help of some websites and now my T is helping me. And the results have been amazing, my confidence level is off the roof, i am feeling more emotions, i am also feeling more positive. Not that I have completely eliminated porn from my life - but i really want to and will do it one day , hopefully soon enough smile

Dolphinboy: I guess we are in similar situation as both of us are single. To check out if you are in denial or not, here is a brotherly suggestion: quit porn for 1 month and see how it affects you ? if you feel agitation, irritation and feel a compulsive desire to go back , then probably you are in denial. I would suggest read the rebooting accounts on yourbrainonporn.com for the changes people have noticed on themselves when they quit porn can be eye-openers. Personally, as i am slowly getting out of porn, i feel like a king :-) haha ... i can look at any girl in the eyes on road and say hello with a smile. I had never done that in my last 29 years of life.

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#400399 - 06/14/12 03:35 AM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
HI DB

I know that you think Porn is harmless, but watching porn is a lot like drinking and taking drugs. Trust me when I say this.

Watch this link again TED X Watch it carefully and see how watching porn takes away your ability to interact with real people, takes away your need to interact and have real relationships. And how the porn becomes harder and harder and more shocking to provide more shock value in order to have some effect on your libido.

Watching porn alters the chemicals in your brain so that eventually you don't need the interaction of real people.

Porn for survivors is the excuse we need not to face our lives and to deal with the problems that have plagued us since we were abused. There is also some interesting info on porn on Amsosa check it out. All the stuff on this site is written by a survivor.

I know that you feel it is harmless because you are on your own, but truth is that you are impacting on your own health terribly.

Heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#400430 - 06/14/12 03:59 PM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 39
Martin & RC
Thanks for replying to my post. This is exactly why I appreciate this site so much; getting real advice from real people who really care! I am on MS because I want to get better, fill in the missing puzzle pieces of my life and start to LIVE. I don't want to slink in the shadows of life, but move into the sunlight and take a chance on love and happiness. If porn is holding me back, then I will do my best - no, then I WILL kick the habit. I guess like most guys here I am just uninformed and in need of guidance in this respect (and many other areas). Hope to report back here in a month's time. Just one question; how do I stop? No more watching what so ever or is taking a peek from time to time allowed?
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

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#400433 - 06/14/12 04:21 PM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
No peek NOOO PEEEK LOL

DB there is a SLAA and a SAA group down in the Cape Town area. That is a Sex (Love) Addicts Anonymous group. Try to get in touch with them there are a few down there.
They will be able to help with the Porn addiction, but will also help with your CSA issues.

Try it, group is often the best treatment for both these.

Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#400447 - 06/14/12 07:51 PM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
RollerCoaster Offline


Registered: 10/23/11
Posts: 47
Loc: PA, USA
Hi DB,
I second my opinion on whatever Martin has said. No peek at all :-)
And regarding taking these things out of yourself in a group, I cannot agree more. It may be the quickest way to deal with porn addiction.
Meanwhile, I would urge you to read (http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/ and yourbrainonporn.com) for increasing your knowledge about this issue.

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#400502 - 06/15/12 12:54 PM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
JoeUniverseHP Offline


Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 72
I loooove my SLAA meetings and program...I just did my fifth step with my sponsor last night and I feel great about it.

I haven't watched porn since the beginning of this year and it has been amazing.

Then I started surfing reddit.com and there was a thread about incest which really triggered me so I don't surf that website any more; I don't need another news aggregator in my life, the websites I regularly visit are enough for me.

Since unhooking from sex industry, I find myself approaching life much more focused, I don't sexualize every woman any more, much more realism and less fantasy, life is more intense but I am moderating my reactions due to experiencing life more realistically. It's great.

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#400534 - 06/15/12 07:09 PM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
JoeUniverseHP-
You are an inspiration! I am so blessed by the success of your recovery. Thank you for sharing it!

DolphinBoy-
God love you! I will be remembering you in my prayers, and ask God to send His angels to support you! You can do this, sweet soul!!!

Everyone-
Thanks for your honest input. Experience is the best teacher, and you've share valuable lessons with all on this board! I'm moved and humbled by your struggles! Thank you for so generously sharing!

Keep the input coming, all! What if your wise words save even just one survivor the hell of porn addiction???? I'd say your efforts are "type well spent"! wink

Love and Peace-
herowannabe
_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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#400569 - 06/16/12 04:11 AM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
The only problem with the "porn" brain argument is the people watching it predominantly don't have a healthy view of sexuality for whatever reason or reasons and little human contact/sexuality.

Oxytocin is secreted during orgasm. The reason people watch porn?

There is better argument to addicting behavior via brain chemisty--Oxytocin or the lack thereof. With human contact, Oxytocin is released along with dopamine. Nicotine and drugs actually stimulate Oxytocin production. The theory is more Oxytocin, less addictive and anti-social behavior. Oxytocin is called the "love" chemical for a reason. However, there really isn't evidence you can become addicted to Oxytocin like you can dopamine (awesome Bipolar highs there). High dopamine levels lead to high sexual drive in men or women. It did me. It's artificial testosterone, or, more appropriately take the place of it. Even then, you can't OD on dopamine.

Therefore, porn actually is beneficial to people who lack sufficient production of Oxytocin because it makes the brain produce it. Porn isn't addictive. Oxytocin is. I don't see any reason why CSA or ASA wouldn't cause a lack of Oxytocin and cause an over production of Dopamine.

Elation, a feeling of well-being and so forth is the brain absorbing Oxytocin. People with depression have been proven to not produce enough Oxytocin.

I've heard the adrenaline argument, too. Healthy (?) will produce adrenaline. Don't believe me? Were you nervous the first time? That's adrenaline (fight or flight response).

Oxytocin, that one small chemical, really is the peace chemical. Truth is, many of us don't have 'normal' brain chemistry and lack Oxytocin. Why is nicotine so addictive? It produces Oxytocin. So does weed.

Most of these porn arguments have been supposed by the religious bunch. Oh, it's f-cks up your brain. No, dufus, you're brain was f-cked up before it. Okay, where's my Oxytocin spray? That actually has cured hallucinations and depression.

OXYTOCIN SPRAYS you see for sale are snake oil. It's not available to the public. Only a moron would take exstacy but it causes it to be produced. The other problem is it doesn't pass the blood-brain barrier so synthetic doesn't work well. Only your brain makes the right stuff. The dude that discovered it won the Nobel Prize in the 50s.


Edited by phoenix321 (06/16/12 04:41 AM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#400664 - 06/17/12 07:27 AM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: herowannabe]
Dar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 170
Loc: Missouri
Hummmmmmmm,Here are some other thoughts on Oxytocin.


Bonding. In the Prairie Vole, oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner. Vasopressin appears to have a similar effect in males. Oxytocin has a role in social behaviors in many species, and so it seems likely that it also does in humans. In 2003, a study showed that in both humans and dogs oxytocin levels in the blood rose after five to twenty-four minutes of a petting session. It is possible that this plays a role in the emotional bonding between humans and dogs.
Oxytocin evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around the mate. Many studies have already shown a correlation of oxytocin with human bonding, increases in trust, and decreases in fear.

Could this be why most of us bonded with our perp's?
Maybe bonding with porn too? You feel safe????


Romantic Attachment In some studies, high levels of plasma oxytocin have been correlated with romantic attachment. For example, if a couple is separated for a long period of time, anxiety can increase due to the lack of physical affection. The authors of a recent study suggest that oxytocin may aid romantically attached couples by decreasing their feelings of anxiety when they are separated.

In other word's, By self medicating your self (by jerking off)you wont miss your partner so much. We have all been down that road before.
No thanks, I want that feeling of missing her.

Porn is Porn, nothing more nothing less than a way to Secretly have an afair with yourself. I dont care how anyone spins it.

Blessings
_________________________
All I ever wanted was a hug.

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#400670 - 06/17/12 08:27 AM Re: Is porn screwing you? [Re: Dar]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Dar
Hummmmmmmm,Here are some other thoughts on Oxytocin.


Bonding. In the Prairie Vole, oxytocin released into the brain of the female during sexual activity is important for forming a monogamous pair bond with her sexual partner. Vasopressin appears to have a similar effect in males. Oxytocin has a role in social behaviors in many species, and so it seems likely that it also does in humans. In 2003, a study showed that in both humans and dogs oxytocin levels in the blood rose after five to twenty-four minutes of a petting session. It is possible that this plays a role in the emotional bonding between humans and dogs.
Oxytocin evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around the mate. Many studies have already shown a correlation of oxytocin with human bonding, increases in trust, and decreases in fear.

Could this be why most of us bonded with our perp's?
Maybe bonding with porn too? You feel safe????


Romantic Attachment In some studies, high levels of plasma oxytocin have been correlated with romantic attachment. For example, if a couple is separated for a long period of time, anxiety can increase due to the lack of physical affection. The authors of a recent study suggest that oxytocin may aid romantically attached couples by decreasing their feelings of anxiety when they are separated.

In other word's, By self medicating your self (by jerking off)you wont miss your partner so much. We have all been down that road before.
No thanks, I want that feeling of missing her.

Porn is Porn, nothing more nothing less than a way to Secretly have an afair with yourself. I dont care how anyone spins it.

Blessings



Dar,

Here's what I said, in a nutshell, "Perhaps the easiest understanding why many do use porn is a lack of Oxytocin. An orgasm will make that happen. So will human touch. However, lacking human touch, a mate, people turn to other ways to get what they really want--Oxytocin." That's pure scientific deduction.
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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