Since it is now almost 5am, I cannot say I am very good at "forcing" myself to go to bed at times. Actually, I am working on a project, but I am also ignoring the signals that I need to lie down.
Regarding the difficulties with the bed itself, perhaps an alternative would suffice. Of course, this is easier if you are the sole occupant of your current sleeping arrangement or if you have enough room for a second sleeping accomdation.
For some, it is the actual mattress on the bed that causes the anxiety and other difficulties. If this is the case, perhaps something like a futon or a hammock would make things easier. Of course, your back has to agree to this, as well.
Sometimes changing the appearance of the bed - removing it from the frame or using a frame like that in a "captain's bed," to reduce or eliminate the movement and other cues, might be helpful.
If substituting something in lieu of the typical bed is not a viable option, perhaps desensitization might be useful.
Other things to try are grounding techniques. If you start doing the grounding techniques prior to going into the bedroom (about ten minutes) you will be more successful in reducing the anxiety, flashbacks, etc.
Learning new associations with the bed will help with the anxiety, too. If reading is not something you prefer to do, then something which forces you to use your mind such as doing soduku puzzles, may also help. Whether you are doing a grounding technique or something such as soduku, the intentional focus of your mind will reduce the amount of energy the mind can devote to the automatic processes of emotions. Also, doing puzzles or other mind exercises which require skills other than vocabulary, will make your mind exhausted from the exertion.
If you are not averse to it, medication can also help. To reduce the nightmares, flashbacks and body memories I either take ativan or benadryl.
Depending on your employment and other circumstances, changing when you go to sleep might help. Since the abuse happened at night, you might find it easier to sleep during the day. (I am a natural night owl. I prefer to go to sleep when the sun rises.)
The answer that will have the most enduring effectiveness for you is therapy, but that doesn't help you in the interim.
I wish I had more definitive answers for you.
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.