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#393903 - 04/18/12 09:39 AM Female Perpetrators
Tiff Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 11
Hi all, I found this great article on female on male abuse. Apparently, females very rarely sexually abuse other females (will look for stats on that and get back to you). Interesting, huh?

Cheers, Tiff


http://kalimunro.com/wp/articles-info/se...le-perpetrators

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#393910 - 04/18/12 09:58 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
Good article that does a pretty decent job of debunking the "females don't abuse" myth.

Not sure about the idea that females rarely sexually abuse other females... I'm part of another online community that is mostly female and the HUGE number of women there abused by other females is almost staggering.

I went to a training seminar once where a woman (Doris Van Stone) shared her story, over the course of a whole week, of horrible sexual abuse. She shared about the sexual abuse she experienced in an orphanage she spent her childhood years in and then being prostituted by the family that adopted her...

It wasn't until the last day that she finally shared that in that orphanage, where all manner of sexual abuse took place... there was not one single male employee.

The more I learn, the more I realize that our "statistics" or horribly slanted and biased. I'm seeing more and more that women abuse as much as men and boys are as often the targets as girls are.

Hopefully in time as awareness is raised and ignorance is destroyed those biased statistics will be righted.


Edited by JustScott (04/18/12 09:59 AM)

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#393914 - 04/18/12 10:08 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
Tiff Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 11
Hey,

Yeah, I really need to find where I read that- it was on an Australian website somewhere and was very clear about it - so will keep looking. It quoted stats that claimed that when women abused, they overwhelmingly abused young males. As I said, will keep looking!

I also think there must be a particular kind of shame associated with all that - society's idea seems to be that men can't participate unless they're 'into it', ie, have an erection.

I've been reading some really interesting things about this over the last couple of days but have predictably lost track of what I read when because there's just been so much - I think I'll go over my Internet history and pass the stuff that struck me on to you guys.

Great site - cheers and love to you all,

Tiff

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#393916 - 04/18/12 10:14 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
Definitely is not only added shame that others don't fight with, but it's also an additional HUGE inhibitor to breaking the silence about it.

When everyone around you is "cheering" some poor molested kid because "he got lucky" with some "hottie" teacher, or talking about how worthless and pathetic a guy must be to get taken advantage of (by anyone, not just a woman, but it's certainly "worse" if it was a female), or they just minimize it because "you know you wanted it..." Well there just isn't any reason to share that with anyone and just invite the ridicule and dismissiveness it's going to invite.


And yes, I know this first hand. It's one aspect of the abuse I experienced that I rarely share.

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#393919 - 04/18/12 10:32 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
Tiff Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 11
Hi again,

God, when you put it like that, it all just sounds so horrendous - imagine, everyone cheering you on while you're dying inside. I just can't imagine anything like that.

Sorry, I'll have to retract - I can't find the website that claimed the victims of female abuse were overwhelmingly male. However, I did read this yesterday and I thought it dealt with the issue really well (drawing on popular culture to illustrate some of the points). I think I found it on this site so you're probably already familiar with it!

http://www.malesurvivor.org/Reversal_of_Fortune.pdf

Tiff

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#393920 - 04/18/12 10:36 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
Tiff Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 11
Just wanted to add - the article also mentions that women have also been known to show signs of being 'into it' during rapes (I won't expand on this- I'm sure you know what I mean) - but if anyone dared mention this, they would be well and truly shouted down...

Our perceptions as a society must make the experience all the more isolating and traumatic for the poor abused boys. Wow. Just...wow.

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#393921 - 04/18/12 10:36 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
Tiff Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 11
http://www.malesurvivor.org/Reversal_of_Fortune.pdf

Sorry - here's the article I was referring to...

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#394203 - 04/20/12 05:20 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
BloggerT Offline


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21
It depends on what you mean by very rarely. According to the Center for Sex Offender Management, an estimated 1.6 million men and 1.5 million women are sexually abused by women when they were children.

According to Law Professor Kay Levine, it is estimated that 1.5 million girls and 1.1 million boys are victims of female sexual abuse in the United States.

The numbers vary depending on the study 600+ studies on this subject and the above information came from http://www.female-offenders.com/

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#394395 - 04/22/12 01:41 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: BloggerT]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: BloggerT
It depends on what you mean by very rarely. According to the Center for Sex Offender Management, an estimated 1.6 million men and 1.5 million women are sexually abused by women when they were children.

According to Law Professor Kay Levine, it is estimated that 1.5 million girls and 1.1 million boys are victims of female sexual abuse in the United States.

The numbers vary depending on the study 600+ studies on this subject and the above information came from http://www.female-offenders.com/


***Triggers*****

There are women offenders abusing girls too. Elsewhere I've heard women say, "they betrayed their own sex" in raping them. Never put in those words myself about my male rapist (his wife raped me too). Male offenders are just mored derided than women offenders. Women offenders also get more "compassion" or the boys aren't believed or called lucky if they are say, 14-up.

Too many guys say, "Dude, I'd have killed for that in high school. Where were those teachers when I was in high school? Lucky dude." Saw a lot of those comments recently when the Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader got arrested for allegedly having sex with a 16 year old student.

One thing I wonder since 50% of child rape is violent vs. like 30-35% of adult rape according to statistics, which gender is more violent? It's all violent since against someone's will.

Is it the lack of violence with half of offenders, male or female, why it's such a damn problem for victims to grasp?

I didn't know for 23 years. Was mad at the male not the female perp. I blamed the male perp for it not her even though she participated and did most of the rape. Guess because I suffocated on his penis. Yeah, disgusting. But, if I could've found them, both would've gotten killed over it slowly, with lots of pain.
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#394733 - 04/24/12 05:32 AM Re: Female Perpetrators [Re: Tiff]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Interesting artical, though myself one thing that has always bothered me is that my own experience seems fairly unique, in that there were multiple female perpetrators at once, ---- indeed the phrase "gang rape" is possibly true in my case. particularly unusual as it was multiple teenaged girls.

i must admit, while I have no animosity towards any individual woman, I find the idea that girls of 12-18 are always seen as precious, weak and needing protection really disguists me, especially when i remember the occasion I! got yelled at by a teacher for perpetrating abuse when I punched one of those girls in the chest.

I'd love to write on this topic myself, especially when i've finished my phd, but I'm extremely afraid that doing the research, reading all the view points that state how evil men are, that men always want s/x and that because a man's body respondes his mind must also be involved would be extremely triggering and upsetting.

the ironic thing is, that though I've never had any sort of romantic relationship, most of my friends are now female, though none are what you would call sterriotypically female in their beliefs or have sexist views about men.

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