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#399758 - 06/08/12 05:49 AM Hook up with a thriver
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi guys.

My life took a dramatic turn late last year and early this year. I changed from being a survivor into a thriver. I started noticing that my attitude to life changed, I became more optimistic, I would see the good rather than the bad. I started to notice that there were good things in life, that not all things were bad.
Even when my marriage of 20 years fell apart, I remained happy and optimistic and I still see the great things that life has to offer me.
I encourage all who are still in recovery to hook up with thrivers, people that can show you the great things that life has to offer you, but at the same time can empathize with your situation.
We, during recovery, feel that there is no good left in the world and seem to get stuck on the bad things and only focus on the horrible, this makes recovery difficult if not impossible.
I firmly believe that we can all move from survivor to thriver to healer. This is an important process.

I am very active in the AA, and we see there men that have been DRY for 15 or even 20 years, but still when you ask them how they are they tell you that life is terrible. They have been in the first year of recovery for the last 20 years. That is not living, I refuse to tell myself week in and week out that I am an alcoholic. I am healed of that allergy, I am not an alcoholic, I am a teetotaller. I choose not to drink, because I don't want to.

I wish for all healing from this curse, but healing is a CHOICE.

Heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#399763 - 06/08/12 07:45 AM Re: Hook up with a thriver [Re: whome]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Thanks for the great advice Martin. I will not say that a possitive attitude is a cure all but it sure is a step in the right direction. I love this saying made famous by Mary Kay, Fake it til you make it. Maybe we can use it as our new battle slogan Mike

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#399783 - 06/08/12 12:23 PM Re: Hook up with a thriver [Re: whome]
JoeUniverseHP Offline


Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 72
Martin,

I enjoyed what you wrote. Absolutely. For me thriving is being of service, getting out of my head by helping others, being involved in 12 steps, meetings, talking to people, support groups, etc, etc. I am just beginning my adventure of sexual abuse recovery (not having looked at my abuse seriously until about a week ago) and although the past 5 days have been brutal, I am coming out of the fog of dawning realization and embracing the honesty and clarity.

I know that as I continue on in this journey, I will grow and change. But the meetings definitely help me so much, I hit a 12 step meeting most every day (SLAA and AA) and I am sure that it is better than staying in my apartment, in my own head.

I am grateful for fellowship and the ability to be with peers and to aspire to thrive.
And the ability to learn about "self care" and healthy boundaries.

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#399799 - 06/08/12 05:14 PM Re: Hook up with a thriver [Re: whome]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 39

Thanks for this post Martin, good to be reminded that life can also be good and beautiful.


Edited by Dolphinboy (06/08/12 05:23 PM)
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

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#399804 - 06/08/12 05:30 PM Re: Hook up with a thriver [Re: whome]
Steve0123 Offline


Registered: 05/30/12
Posts: 80
I like this way of thinking...fall down 9 times, get up 10...adopt a fighter's mentality, rage rage against the dying of the light...

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#399818 - 06/08/12 07:17 PM Re: Hook up with a thriver [Re: whome]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1782
Net one step ahead Progress that is what it is about.

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#399870 - 06/09/12 06:22 AM * [Re: whome]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 04:46 PM)

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