... And I had another moment of certainty this morning. It's as if only the emotional channel of the memory were coming back to me, and I can't see anything else, but it's so sharp it outlines what I can't make out- ...
... This could be far more painful than I thought. ... This is really gonna suck, isn't it?
LAD - i think that since you were so young at the time of this/these experience(s) - most of your memories will not be as detailed in terms of visual details of setting, other people/players, or a narrative-type sequence of events. maybe more the physical sensations like you are describing.
although i do have a few very visual memories from 2-3 years old. might depend on whether you are a visually-oriented person or not - i am VERY much so.
just saying this to say that you might not get the detailed clarity of the whole big picture that you want - maybe more sensory fragments that you have to try to assemble and connect the dots... not trying to discourage you - but it may be different from what you have imagined.
and - yeah - it is probly gonna really suck!
just remember - we are here for you.
PM any time.