i canpt believe this hasn't been banned and i'm glad.
attempts is something most of us are afraid of talking about but there are some reflexions about it that i believe are important.

I don't know about you guys, but i felt a weird "state of peace" like i never felt before after a couple of times I tried to do it. Like everything was ok and like all my parts (I dissociate) were working as a team at least that night. It was like the calm that comes after the shock. Has anyone else felt like this?

I know my first try was at 10, but I can't remember any details, only that my dad (who was also one of the perps) prevented it (because despite everything, i think he loves me) and i spent some time at hospital (where doctors knew about me and him, but didn't tell).

I tried twice as a teenager just because I couldn't stand my situation in foster homes and the double life I was leading when they went to bed... and I missed my crazy sick home.

2009 was a bad year. I tried 3 times i think. I dont know.. I was trying to die all the time actually... put myself in a lot of risky situations. The time I almost did it I found my parts working together and conforting each other after we got out of hospital. We (I) started my diary then.

I would like to know how you feel about s.... for me, it's like the norm more than being in shock.. I am relieved now that I promised myself I don't have to *force* myself to be alive... if , at some point, I decide it's too bad for me, I could just.. well you know. Not sure I can say more in these boards.

I found my parts working together and conforting each other after we got out of hospital. We (I) started my diary then.