My name is Myriam. I am writing from France. A few months ago I met a very nice guy and after meeting quite a few times we went to vacations to Spain and it became more intimate between us. But as he was in my arms, memories of abuse by his mother resurfaced. He knows I am a survivor and we were able to talk about what was going on. When we got back he started acting strangely like passive agressive, changing our plans, testing me like I could never do things right. He acted also like his life was back as it was before our trip, like nothing had happened and he went as far as going back dating an ex girlfriend. We managed to meet for a talk but all he was not able to share about how he felt. I had a gut feeling that every time he saw me it trigggered him bad, remind him the time he was in my arms sobing because of the pain. Then left to visit his parents in Israel and basically disappeared. In April, I invited me to a very special occasion he knew that was important to me. He did not say yes, did not say no but in the end he wasn't there. Now he is stuck in his cave, really stuck as he has chosen to cut off communication. Recently I met him at our local synagogue twice. He looked like a guilty little boy, ashamed, confused, guilty. It was not really possible to talk to him as he was with his girlfriend and anyway since he has decided to cut off communication I do not want to be intrusive. After all the wonderful moments, the connection, it is horrible to end up in this situation, especially because we are going to meet at the synagogue quite often. His friends tell me he is used to keeping to himself when not ok but also he is too proud to ask for help.
Anyway any insights will help about this process of silence and denial.Thank you
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !