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#398655 - 05/29/12 01:14 AM Do you have many male friends?
NCguy88 Offline


Registered: 05/13/12
Posts: 76
I have found throughout my lifetime that I have problems making, having & keeping male friends I think I make them feel weird, I enjoy hanging out with them and socializing but I seem to always find myself attracted to them or if they confide in me about problems I want to help them release their frustrations by wanting them to use me. I know I can't be alone in feeling this way but I can't seem to control how I feel. I've never acted on it but I know my friends can sense how I feel as I am always watching them. and I have trouble making any eye contact. How do you control it? Like if someone is nice to me why do I always feel like there's more to it? I feel so screwed up right now.


Edited by longroad37 (05/29/12 11:12 AM)
Edit Reason: reword

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#398679 - 05/29/12 11:30 AM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 05:55 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#398682 - 05/29/12 11:57 AM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
NCguy88 Offline


Registered: 05/13/12
Posts: 76
Thanks for the info, I guess this is one of the things I'll have to talk to my therapist about, problem with my therapist is that I can only see her every 2 weeks or so because she is overbooked, I think I might need a weekly visit but I hate having to explain everything all over again to someone new so that's why I decided to stay with this one. There is so much I need help with, my mind is all over the place.

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#398701 - 05/29/12 03:03 PM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 05:55 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#398856 - 05/30/12 12:58 PM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
BDD Offline


Registered: 01/27/11
Posts: 56
Loc: PA, USA
I always felt like an imposter when I was with other boys since I was 5. So it was easier to hang out with girls. To this day all my friends are woman.

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#398875 - 05/30/12 03:05 PM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
NCguy88 Offline


Registered: 05/13/12
Posts: 76
I've always had more female than male friends, I have always felt awkward around guys I guess because of the attraction and I didn't want them to notice. I always wanted more male friends but have only had just a few.

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#405658 - 08/02/12 07:32 PM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
uptownguy Offline


Registered: 08/02/12
Posts: 6
Loc: chicago
I can totally relate to Geoff and didn't really begin to examine how I was sexually wired until college. I once looked at all male friendships as sexual conquests and had to retrain myself by becoming very introspective about both the early abuse and the effect it had on friendships.

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#405718 - 08/03/12 03:06 PM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: uptownguy]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
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Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 05:55 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#407832 - 08/24/12 08:34 PM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
Alden Offline


Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 7
Loc: Ohio
I identify with BDD's comment about feeling like an impostor. I've managed to keep all of my relationships with the male friends I had prior to my CSA. However in the 15 years since, my male friendships have been based around the abuse of alcohol or drugs. I have recently began thinking it was my way to make the "gay" feelings go away.

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#419352 - 12/17/12 08:01 AM Re: Do you have many male friends? [Re: NCguy88]
jfransiscus Offline


Registered: 12/17/12
Posts: 4
Loc: sydney,australia
i too, having more female than male friends. its just how it is. sometimes its just hard to make friends with straight guys, its like there is some invisible walls keeping the distance. or is it just us having the issue with oftenly and wrongly fall for straight guys?

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