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#398425 - 05/25/12 09:44 PM My Cousin *Possible triggers
AnonymousMale Offline


Registered: 05/25/12
Posts: 1
Loc: Kansas
This is my first time posting this, so bear with me. I spent most of my life keeping a secret from my family, a secret that I could barely deal with myself until recently. I was abused, from the age of 7 until the age of 13, by my female cousin. At the time, I remember thinking that it was strange to do this, but I wasn't sure then if I was doing anything wrong. All I knew was she, my cousin, did things that no one else did, and for some reason, I couldn't tell anyone.

After a while, I knew what she was doing was wrong, and I wanted it to stop. I couldn't tell my grandmother (this took place during the summer when I visited my grandmother for vacation bible school) so I turned to God, asking him to make it stop. He didn't answer, and it was another year before I was strong enough to tell her to stop. I told my parents four years ago, a daunting task in and of itself as it nearly sent my father over the edge (my cousin was from his side of the family). After many long talks with a therapist, and friends and family members who have shown me nothing but love and support, I feel I can share this story with others.

If this has happened to you, I ask that you do not feel bad. I spent years cutting myself off from people because I was scared they would know the truth. I didn't even get my first serious girlfriend until I was in college because I wasn't sure if I could ever trust another woman again. So, if this has happened to you...it's not your fault, and do not feel afraid to talk about it. As I learned, not so long ago, my fear was giving my cousin power over me still, and if I was not longer afraid, the power she wielded no longer existed.

Thank you.

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#398453 - 05/26/12 08:24 AM Re: My Cousin *Possible triggers [Re: AnonymousMale]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Sounds like you have been doing some good work. Thanks for encouraging others.

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#398484 - 05/27/12 10:14 AM Re: My Cousin *Possible triggers [Re: AnonymousMale]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Great share AnonymousMale! I find I can dwell on all the negative aspects of abuse and those drain me of my ability to self heal and affirm. Fear, anger and guilt are such emotions, and they are debilitating. In becoming a thriving victor out of the abuse, I find understanding the polar opposites, the positives to be rewarding. Instead of fear, empowerment, and instead of anger, great love for myself and those who support me, and instead of guilt, forgiveness of self. I find these thoughts in your words, and I am encouraged that you too are using these to heal from those assaults, good work!

Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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