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#398142 - 05/23/12 12:16 AM Re: FiancÚ [Re: Yellowbird]
Yellowbird Offline


Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 27
Thank you mmfan for the encouraging words. Reading some of your previous post, you are a strong woman!!! Stay strong and know you faith will guide you.
_________________________
Without faith nothing is possible, with it everything is possible. You just have to believe.

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#398143 - 05/23/12 12:17 AM Re: FiancÚ [Re: Yellowbird]
Yellowbird Offline


Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 27
Thank you mmfan for the encouraging words. Reading some of your previous post, you are a strong woman!!! Stay strong and know you faith will guide you.
_________________________
Without faith nothing is possible, with it everything is possible. You just have to believe.

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#398209 - 05/23/12 05:35 PM Re: FiancÚ [Re: Yellowbird]
mmfan Offline


Registered: 09/25/11
Posts: 114
Thanks Yellowbird. You are incredibly strong also -I just read your last post about all you have been through, such as with your son, and your ex husband and not to mention the fact you are a survivor too -that is a VERY full plate. It's hard work being both a survivor and a supporter of a survivor! Sometimes its like being lost in a storm at sea, without solid ground or anchor!

I can totally relate to the abandonment feelings as I deal with similar issues, and when my survivor shuts me out when he's struggling, I have a hard time de-personalizing it, it activates my old fears of being rejected and abandoned. frown

It's extremely difficult to let go and trust that love will prevail, but I really do believe based on what you've said that this is a temporary dark period and that you will find your way back to each other.
What you said in your text about not being ok with the situation but that you will always love him and be there for him, I had to smile at -because it's both emotionally honest, and so loving - that unconditional support will help guide him back to his safe harbor.

And yes his response inquiring about you, sounds very hopeful to me.
Keep fighting the good fight Yellowbird, everything will be ok in the end.

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#398303 - 05/24/12 12:24 PM Re: Fiance [Re: Yellowbird]
Sailor John Offline


Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 310
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Hi Yellowbird,

Right now, as you know, your fiance is trying to process what happened to him. This will in all probability take some time, especially since the 2 events are so close together.

If he hasn't started counselling, the quicker he starts the better, Maybe a friendly nudge about counselling will help him.

You are doing everything you can in the circumstances - telling him you are going to be there for him whenever he needs you. He definately trusts you 110% or he would never have told you.

Your setting boundaries for yourself is also a good idea. You have to take care of yourself before you can help him, whether that is just going for a coffee or a walk.


Edited by Sailor John (05/24/12 12:27 PM)
Edit Reason: moving a comment to another paragraph
_________________________
I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.

WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. WE ARE THE SURVIVORS!!!

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