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#398719 - 05/29/12 05:23 PM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
It may not show up in any report or screen, Magellan D, I have had you as a Watched User for some time. I find your posts and replies to be stable, encouraging and up building. I have added you to my UBB Buddies. While the service is not a popularity contest, but rather a shortcut to a user's profile, sending a PM and the like, I was going to do it, and now I have.

Sam
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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#398725 - 05/29/12 06:25 PM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi Magellan,
yes it is difficult sometimes frown but please be aware that we as survivors are perfectionist in everything meaning that we are many times hard to ourselves without any "real" reason.
I find as one of ultimate goals of recovery/healing is changing our stance and negative self image - and this negativity is present in background of almost every aspect of our lives. From memories of trauma and abuse in beginning trough scars and leftovers later and finally in our view to others and us as social beings. So breaking isolation for survivor is really very difficult task.
Lets bring some positive thoughts here in try to break that negative self image:
you are certainly capable to be relaxed around people, just at the moment you are not feeling like that wink
you have so much to offer to others
you are wonderful person
full of insight and so self reflecting
one of the greatest buddies here
don't you ever forget that!!!!

Pero

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My story

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#398801 - 05/30/12 08:22 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
Publius Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 396
Loc: OH
If it makes you feel better I don't have any "buddies" on here either : P I can't speak for anyone else but for me this site is a place where I can come to learn from others, share what I know, and spread awareness all at once. I guess I never thought about "friending" anyone on here and would not be surprised if a lot of other people here just don't think about it even if they enjoy the posts of this member or that. Moreover, and in my case especially, some of us survivors experience difficulty with relationships, trust, and above all intimacy.

To give you insight into my crazy. Most "normal" people would just friend you because they saw one or two posts you'd written and thought it would be a nice gesture/method of staying in contact. For me? What happens if you don't respond/accept it? If you do, what will I have to do to retain your interest/respect? Do I need to respond to everything you write from now on in order to demonstrate my friendship? I could go on but I think you get my point. It sounds goofy but I am just like that for now : )>
_________________________
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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#398805 - 05/30/12 08:26 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
if you look at my profile, I don't have any "buddies" and no one has asked me, yet I feel like I've made some meaningful connections with certain guys here.
_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

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#398806 - 05/30/12 08:31 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
You have UBB buddies Pete. Again, please remember this is not "liking" or "friend'ing" or "plus one". It is a shortcut to a member's profile. Some member's choose to interact through PM and want quick access to those whom they wish to contact, this service affords that, nothing more.

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#398807 - 05/30/12 08:32 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Publius]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Publius,
you have some good points here. These "buddies" are just shortcuts to someone's profile, nothing more.
Anyway I have added you to my buddies for some time now, it means that I've talked to you or have found some yours posts interesting, that is all buddy smile
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#398808 - 05/30/12 08:33 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: CruxFidelis]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
I added you also as buddy CruxFidelis smile
and as Sam already said you have now six buddies.
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My story

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#398811 - 05/30/12 08:40 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Lol Publius, that sounds like too much brain work. It's not crazy, I feel that weight too. Let's just get back to plain old MS, you said it best "I guess I never thought about "friending" anyone on here and would not be surprised if a lot of other people here just don't think about it even if they enjoy the posts of this member or that."

Exactly.
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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#398816 - 05/30/12 09:18 AM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2574
Quote:
As much "recovery" as I've had in realizing who/what I am and what happened to me, I still am not able to relax around other people. Makes relating and relationships fucking impossible.


I'm the same way. I have so few interactions with others in real life and when I do I find myself off on the side just watching (at least that's what it feels like).

So So often I feel I have little in common with human beings. I sit and listen to them talk at length about things that are utterly meaningless and pointless and can't figure out why.

Yet If I begin to talk about things that do matter or try to take a conversation beyond the meaningless to something deeper, everyone runs for the hills or tells me I think too much.

This thing that's supposed to pass for life is indeed lonely.

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#400591 - 06/16/12 01:15 PM Re: Strange - no buddies here (too)? [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1401
Loc: California
You guys are awesome. I love this place. I'm so glad I found all of us here.

Thank you for your replies and support and love. I feel it. I trust it!

I am feeling very grateful right now. Without support like this at MaleSurvivor, my recovery would not have been possible.

D
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It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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