Welcome to MS.
I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.
I advise you do not read a lot of the posts at one time. You do not want to trigger or inadvertantly traumatize yourself by reading too many posts at one time.
I do not know if you are in therapy, but if you are not, I strongly urge you find a therapist, preferably someone trained to work with trauma and/ or sexual abuse.
You may find the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping
helpful as you interview potential therapists. Psychology Today
has listings for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.
There are many books you might find helpful. Some of the popular titles are:
Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Abuse by Mic Hunter
Victims No Longer by Mike Lew
Others here will be happy to share the titles they have found useful. You may find the bookstore link
We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles
helpful. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone). The Tuesday Healing Circle is expected to resume in September.
Feel welcome to come into the lounge (chat room) for real time support. The lounge is open 24 hours a day, but it may not always be in use.
Again, welcome to MS.