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#398287 - 05/24/12 10:29 AM new here
confusedmboro Offline


Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Maryborough, QLD
Hi guys I am new, not sure what to say but I was abused sexually for the first 14 years of my life and since then have just failed in life and I am 42 now so hoping to find answers and a understanding as to why I hurt those close to me and hope to find a better me at the end of it all.

Ricky
_________________________
Wanting to finally clear the demons

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#398289 - 05/24/12 10:42 AM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
ACRoberts Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/10
Posts: 241
Loc: New Jersey (recently moved fro...
Ricky,
Welcome to MS! Sorry for the events that brought us all here, but this is a great community where we can heal together.
_________________________
Allan
________________________
WOR Sequoia 2011--it has changed my life!

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#398291 - 05/24/12 10:59 AM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
Randy65 Offline


Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Jonesboro, Arkansas
Hello Ricky,
I so feel your pain my friend. Glad you found your way here. I hate that you had to endure 14 years of hell. I'm 46 and am dealing with all of the past also. Please remember that you are a survivor. The road ahead is very tough but the rewards are great. Check out the resources here, read and post at your own speed. Feel free to ask us anything. I too thought of my life as a failure.... But just because I repressed this for 41 years does not make me or you a failure. We are starting life on our terms now. I'm treating my past of insecurity, no pride, isolation, reckless non emotional sex, depression, no intimacy, not deserving, all around life, as a learning experience.
I found that most of me hurting people evolved around protecting myself. Most of the time I didn't even realize it. I just told people what they wanted to hear. Never revealing the real me. ( I didn't even know the real me.) I mean who could love me with all this guilt and shame, right? Well, I started with loving myself and brother that's the hard part. I feel that you have taken the first step already. The great thing about MS is the resources and great people or brothers here. We all have got similar pasts and there is always someone here to help.
So proud your here.
We had no control of our past, but we can decide our future.
Stay strong my friend and I believe in you!
Randy
_________________________
My Story of CSA
http://youtu.be/EJIlKCRL_6M

My Story of CSA: The Day God Entered My Heart
http://youtu.be/vpCWEp6u9zM

My Story of CSA: "Flashbacks" (Trigger Caution)
http://youtu.be/xLd5Fe-MxVM



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#398297 - 05/24/12 12:09 PM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Ricky.

Is that QLD Australia??

Well welcome to the board, and you will so find answers to your questions in these pages.

Ask a lot of questions, read a lot and listen a lot and you will find the healing you so deserve.

There are a couple of really great guys in Australia, so let me know and I will try to hook you up.

Heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#398331 - 05/24/12 06:31 PM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1335
Hi Ricky,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

I advise you do not read a lot of the posts at one time. You do not want to trigger or inadvertantly traumatize yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

I do not know if you are in therapy, but if you are not, I strongly urge you find a therapist, preferably someone trained to work with trauma and/ or sexual abuse.

You may find the Consumers Guide to Therapist Shopping helpful as you interview potential therapists. Psychology Today has listings for all states and counties. You can choose the type of therapist you are seeking as well as the area(s) to which you are willng to travel. Also check your county rape crisis center. They offer services to males and females, at no cost to county residents. Some offer support groups in addition to individual therapy.

There are many books you might find helpful. Some of the popular titles are:

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew


Others here will be happy to share the titles they have found useful. You may find the bookstore link helpful.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles helpful. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone). The Tuesday Healing Circle is expected to resume in September.

Feel welcome to come into the lounge (chat room) for real time support. The lounge is open 24 hours a day, but it may not always be in use.


Again, welcome to MS.





Anomalous


Edited by Anomalous (05/24/12 11:35 PM)
Edit Reason: Information change
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#398371 - 05/25/12 02:34 AM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 827
Loc: Kc,Mo
you are in the right place take your time this place helps leaps and bounds just knowing you are no where near as alone as you might of thought
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#398379 - 05/25/12 05:11 AM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
confusedmboro Offline


Registered: 05/24/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Maryborough, QLD
Yes Qld as in Australia, not many sites in Australia as comprehensive as this one.

I have read a few posts, it's very daunting to say the least but it's great to read I am not alone in the world and my life as screwed up as it seems right now.

But I figure in the end only I can help myself and I wishes the internet was around 20 years ago maybe then I would of healed the demons in my head and would of not hurt the one I love the most.

Thanks guys, would love to try and find a support group in Qld, Aust if you know of any would really appreciate any help in that regards.

Ricky
_________________________
Wanting to finally clear the demons

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#398394 - 05/25/12 09:25 AM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
HI Confusedboro

I have a mate there, and Andrew63 is from Aus. So I will ask Adi if he knows of a group in Maryborough Aus.
But in the meanwhile read as much as you can and ask a lot of questions, and you will begin to get help.

Group Is about the best form of therapy, so Ill put the word out.

Heal well
Martin.
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#398475 - 05/27/12 02:19 AM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
EgoSumQuiSum Offline


Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 26
Loc: TX
Welcome. And besure to look browse thru, lots of good info here.
_________________________
Ego Sum Qui Sum- I Am Who Am

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#398606 - 05/28/12 01:18 PM Re: new here [Re: confusedmboro]
peacemaker67 Offline


Registered: 05/28/12
Posts: 44
Loc: WI
Hi Ricky,
that causes a lot of mixed up emotions and feelings.
That was a horrible experience for you to go through.

Hope you find the support you need and encouragement here.

Peace
_________________________
-Love is love when it is free; love is love when others don't feed on you as a "need".
-If we reach one person with betterment, and in turn that one reaches another, what power we have to change the world."
-We are all in our own prison cell and must learn ways to remove the walls so we can escape.

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