forget normal! "we" are never gonna qualify for that! i think it is very understandable and predictable that you would not feel deep grief for the "loss" of a relationship that was not what it should have been. she was the one who took "normal" off the table - not you! give yourself some time and space... maybe the shock is still numbing you.
i'd expect that in the time ahead you may start to feel something. you have probly been guarding your feelings so carefully that you are not allowing yourself to feel yet. that may change in time as it becomes "safer" to respond to what has happened.
for me, the step-father was abusive. when he died, i felt very little - some relief that he was gone and i would never have to face him again - (i was in my 30s at the time he died!) or pretend that everything was fine. later i started to feel grief - not for his death - but for the loss of a paternal relationship that never was and never could be. only much later - years - did i start to feel anger for what he had done to me and how it had affected my life. maybe i would have processed it all and moved through those steps faster if i had been in therapy. i am now. and it is helping to sort things out.
just tell your T what you've said here. the lack of feelings, the questions... keep at it. you'll figure it out.
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"