I am feeling soo lonely.
I hate this!

well,that is all!


mask-qurade ? sentences.

Hey you guys ever get really lonely?
What do you do; maybe this not a question , i should be
asking.

G

Hi G., I was wondering how are you doing these days !
I've used to feel lonely when I've moved here couple years ago. I came to new city without any friends, completely alone.
I've tried to fulfill my time at weekends by doing some cycling, reading books and going to libraries, walking trough city and such things.
I guess if I knew at that time for Male survivor for sure chat would help me a lot, exchanging couple of sentences was missing me the most at those days...
Some exercising was also always helpfull for me in such moments.
Pero

*

I can relate to all of this, I ' m married, my best friend is my wife, but I would love to have a male friend who understood me. I once told my best friend about my abuse and rape, we now only speak once a year, it's is like I have leprosy.

I have also felt lonely in a crowed place, I now remember those feelings when I worked at the local Icerink, as an ice steward when I was 17, that was the first time I had felt alone in a crowed place. No it was at birthday parties years before that.

Thanks you guys! I didin;t know if any one would reply to
this topic...or yeah....

i just get triggered so easy.
I try to remember to breathe.
I took down all the photos everywhere at my folks place.
They are gone for a couple of weeks.

I have to make noise in their friggin home.

I want to kick the shit of a punching bag i got- but
my leg is so messed up!

I need to slow down...i get so weak at the computer.

First, i was rushing to get to the library to maybe
go on the healing circle.

When i read it was later in the week i was relieved
but i get too weak at this computer.

Anyway.... i get sooo pissed off!
For example: there is this girl at the gym - where i used
to go to about six weeks ago.
And i went back there last week to pay my new membership
(low-income) and she said right away " going for a workout"

She can see i am fat. I used to be in fanastic shape!

Damn!!
So i didn't have all my forms and looked like an idiot!

Now. I went to pick up my meds; at the pharmacy i go to
- i think it was the next day after the gym visit.

There is this girl who works there - knockout!

I told her when visiting last "y'know Terri you are very
beautiful,actually ( and i giggled -flirting obviously)

gorgeous."
She says... well i dont remember what she said.
And i walked away saying to myself " damn Goran you
are awesome!":)

But like i said i went there just a few days ago...

oh shit i forgot to mention the girl at the gym ( Kristy)

we are supposed to go for coffee together- only we
do and dont plan to set a date -only say after me finishing
a workout-that we go to a nearby coffee shop!

Well,,, this is on hold! And it is not good ,,because i am
faking fat...and i think she is not impressed ,,so
when i went to the pharmacy to Terri i ,,,didn't think she
would be working; much less at the counter handing me
my meds.
And you guys it was by far the most awekward silence i have
ever had! I HATED it!
I wanted to ask her out. But i didn't want to ask her
until i have coffee with Kristy.
I thought i would be a jackass if i did that.

Anyway...i am faking nuts.
I need sleep.

I am sooooo wanting to move to Toronto.
I am going nuts in Winnipeg.
Alright so i was going to respond to all your replies to me.

I still can't believe all you guys....( xo) thanks
for your love. Man it feels good to be ,,not alone.

It feels like shit.
I just want to be loved.
Just like all of you guys.

What a bullshit freaks to have come to our lives eh?!

Assholes!
okay ...it is really late here and i got to get up in
5 hours.

Wishing you all good health and peace in your mind and heart.

Goran

Hey Goran,
it seems a lot happening at your place.
Don't feel lonely, you have friends here and you can always count on that !
If you'll go to gym you'll be quickly back in shape, don't worry about it. Please take care of yourself and get some sleep, that is very important. Thanks for you PM, I've sent you reply today!
Keep sharing with us!

(((((Goran)))))

Igor (aka Pero)
xoxo

Just a quick drive by post to say you guys are awesome and every single thing you are feeling is normal. You are describing the me I was just six years ago.

it gets better, really, and no one was here on the discussion board to tell me that when I first came here in 2004, so I'm here to tell you it does.

Keep at it.

Thanks alot Curtis - i like what you said " that it does
get better" .

Thanks
xo
Goran