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#396667 - 05/09/12 10:33 PM taste of the future?
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
today started a new world. my wife has gone - pseudo "vacation" - it's more a taste to see what it's like being apart. no phone calls, no conversation - complete break for two weeks. yeah, i know - wtf can you find out in two weeks, right? i just dunno that i could go longer. if the dog wasn't here i swear i'd already be at the emergency room begging them to lock me a way. i don't do well alone. too many demons in the shadows.
yes, upside ... i can watch movies i like to watch. and no, i'm not talking port - but i am talking movies that might have a gay theme or maybe even an entire gay plot/story line. or some off-beat comedy. so definite plus there. at least that's something.
i've noticed something else. i have no friends. not too surprising - i don't do well talking to others. communication definitely not a strong suit. go to parties to sit in the back and watch. sometimes i can be .... i don't even know the word.
i've never felt so close to tears yet so far from crying. i hate dychotomy. ... i think that's the word ...
i have my meds - i will be all right. i will be all right. i will manage.
damn it's going to be a LONG two weeks.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#396683 - 05/10/12 12:20 AM Re: taste of the future? [Re: MarkK]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Mark please don't be a stranger to chat Pm we if there is anything I can do to help Mike

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#396698 - 05/10/12 06:59 AM Re: taste of the future? [Re: MarkK]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Mark,
you can always count on us here, you have friends smile . Loneliness can be difficult to handle and we all have to fight that isolation.
I've been watching couple months ago some interesting gay themed movies (independent and non US mostly) and I could recommend you couple of titles if you like drama, realistic and even romantic movies smile.
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#396700 - 05/10/12 08:23 AM Re: taste of the future? [Re: MarkK]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Mark

All I can say Is DITTO.

Exactly the same problem here. Wife tossed me out the house like a used condom, and I am alone. She however thinks that i am out partying every night???(go figure) A survivor that willingly goes out and looks for friends, never met one.
Well I am also apparently screwing all the woman I meet, (yeah sure)Cant even screw someone I love and trust???
I feel for you, Its been three months for me and it feels like forever. I miss my daughter and wife like crazy.

Hang in there man it does get better.

heal well
Martin
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Matrix Men South Africa
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Matrix Men Blog

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#396742 - 05/10/12 03:22 PM Re: taste of the future? [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Thanks, guys.
Mike - I do use PM frequently - almost anytime you see me anywhere but the lounge (most frequently TreeHouse) - you can almost bet I'm in PM with somebody. And it does help - I'm just so vulnerable to anything right now...

Pero - sent you a PM

Martin - - I can only hope to have your strength should it go that way.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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