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#396260 - 05/06/12 08:11 AM do we go after them
skylar777 Offline


Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 30
Loc: ohio
I have a opertunity to go after the person who raped me for 4 years. My question is do i now after 45 years later do this or do i leave it be and move on with my life. I guess i wrestle with this only because what will putting someone in jail do for me now at this late age of my life. Yes i stuggle daily with this nightmare but should i not just bring it to a end and walk away from this? I hope someone will help me with this question. eek
_________________________
the scares run deep within our bodies,mind and soul. Only the help from God and others like us can get us thru to the understanding we will over come.

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#396291 - 05/06/12 12:12 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
People should be held accountable for there actions . No matter how long has passed .
Because You live with the damage that has been done to Your life every day .
_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#396293 - 05/06/12 12:34 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1432
You have to make the decision. I am in the process of trying to track down my abuser but he seems to be lost--only several references by his title and last name back in the 1960's. I have written to the diocese asking for information about him but have been told not to expect a response. If I do find him I am not sure what my next steps will be--I have spoken to survivors who confronted their abusers and few felt a sense of closure. Others felt angrier than before--so I do not know what I will do--it will be on my terms and I will control what happens next. If dead then I can feel relief he is not harming anyone else.

It is your choice and I know you will make the decision that is right for you.

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#396301 - 05/06/12 01:35 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
This is always very hard question.
I don't now how do you feel these days and were you are standing in your recovery/healing toward that terrible abuse. I guess that only you can decide about it. I believe deep down that our healing should bring us to confrontation, but off course that action sometimes could bring more damage than good.
Because of that it is very delicate and sensitive matter. You could consider to talk with your T about it, if you have one.
Please read this article about all this: http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer3.html
I hope this would be helpful to you!
Pero
_________________________
My story

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#396307 - 05/06/12 02:28 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
Edward Wong Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 40
One of my deepest regrets was letting the statute of limitations expire.

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#396342 - 05/06/12 08:15 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
skylar777 Offline


Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 30
Loc: ohio
i understand what you are saying but i being a religous person should i not just move on with my life the best i can, i mean what will i profit from going after this person. i am so puzzled over this issue
_________________________
the scares run deep within our bodies,mind and soul. Only the help from God and others like us can get us thru to the understanding we will over come.

Top
#396347 - 05/06/12 08:45 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Go for it Skylar, its all part of closure and conclusion. Nine months after disclosure l found the man who abducted me, three decades after the event l found he was caught with a dead victim in 1983 and on death row in San Quentin California.
Short version: Via his pen pal's on a Canadian website the CCADP and others involved l was able to communicate with Randy S Kraft, the monster who decieved me walking down the road at 11am in October 1977.
Confrontation is a very high/low emotional, mental and physical experience and l hope you can create peace, understanding and comfort in your journey.
My motive was to let him know l am the victor and l was able to triumph.
Then l went after the military, veterans admin, DoD, gov and media.
Satisfaction was not money or exposure...it was l won and now the fight is over.
I never felt like l could claim victory untill l told that fucker l won.
_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

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#396434 - 05/07/12 04:46 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
skylar777 Offline


Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 30
Loc: ohio
no i don't and never did have a theropist until finding this site some time ago i never knew i had a option. my porblem is being a christian i am to forgive people who wrong me if i go after him what do i gain other then seeing his family see him go to jail. is that right?
_________________________
the scares run deep within our bodies,mind and soul. Only the help from God and others like us can get us thru to the understanding we will over come.

Top
#396435 - 05/07/12 04:46 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
skylar777 Offline


Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 30
Loc: ohio
i was under the belief there is none on rape
_________________________
the scares run deep within our bodies,mind and soul. Only the help from God and others like us can get us thru to the understanding we will over come.

Top
#396436 - 05/07/12 04:50 PM Re: do we go after them [Re: skylar777]
skylar777 Offline


Registered: 11/15/11
Posts: 30
Loc: ohio
yes i understand i have been fighting with this for 45 years but two wrongs don't make a right. I don't know very confused about this
_________________________
the scares run deep within our bodies,mind and soul. Only the help from God and others like us can get us thru to the understanding we will over come.

Top
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