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#395843 - 05/02/12 03:34 PM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 10:43 PM)

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#395846 - 05/02/12 03:54 PM Re: Walking with people behind me [Re: Life's A Dream]
iambubba Offline


Registered: 04/24/12
Posts: 31
Loc: Canada
I think I can relate somewhat. I've come to realize that I don't trust men. I mean any men....dad, friend, client. I seem to be waiting for them to become sexually abusive. Can be irrational cause I know not everyone wants to hurt me but man it still feels real.

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#395851 - 05/02/12 07:27 PM . [Re: iambubba]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 10:43 PM)

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#395852 - 05/02/12 07:36 PM Re: Walking with people behind me [Re: Life's A Dream]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3461
Loc: somewhere in Africa
yeah - i can relate to the anxiety about being watched or being followed. one of the really bad memories/feelings is of walking down a street late at night and hearing footsteps behind me - not knowing if it is coincidence or if they are really following me - afraid to stop, afraid to turn around and look, afraid to go faster in case the follower speeds up too, afraid to turn into a side street in case i become more vulnerable... i was 17 and i could take to you exactly the same spot where it happened. i got away that time - i don't remember how. but there must have been something else that happened earlier to cause the panic that time.

guessing it is the same fopr you, LAD. these triggers don't become triggers without a reason.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#395854 - 05/02/12 07:46 PM Re: Walking with people behind me [Re: Life's A Dream]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1412
Loc: California
This sounds like PTSD symptoms - its not something that you're psychologically aware of, but more like the body's defense mechanism on hypervigilence mode - conditioned like pavlov's dogs.

They were trained to salivate whenever they heard a bell.

I think us survivors are trained to be fearful at the slightest signal.

D
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#395858 - 05/02/12 07:58 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 10:43 PM)

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#395878 - 05/03/12 12:36 AM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 01:52 PM)

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#395885 - 05/03/12 02:56 AM . [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 10:42 PM)

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#395945 - 05/03/12 12:16 PM Re: Walking with people behind me [Re: Life's A Dream]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I have the same fear of people being behind me, albeit for different reasons. For instance, my perp used to hold me from behind, kiss me on the shoulders and neck etc, which oddly when compared to everything else I hated most. Also, I've been around dangerous street environments for the better part of my adolescence and adult life so I'm constantly watchful of who's behind me, given the amount of violence I've seen inflicted on people by others coming up on them from behind. No matter where I am I'm constantly scanning shadows growing from behind me as a form of early warning system. Anyways the whole thing seems quite primal. You watch creatures in the wild that are afraid for their survival and its much the same behaviour.

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#395952 - 05/03/12 01:02 PM . [Re: jls]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 10:42 PM)

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