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#394746 - 04/24/12 10:16 AM Don't You Dare!
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
New rule for my F&F in real life: Before you can tell me to "cheer-up," "get over it," or something ingenious like "fake it till you make it..."...

You need to watch Mysterious Skin with your eyes duct-taped open.

Got a "get out of yer funk" recommendation from a friend two weeks ago. I keep forgetting to tell my T that, as he's still trying to convince me that there's some sort of life out there for me now that my life-long dream was achieved and then stripped-away ... for having been fk-meat for seven years...and not being able to tell anyone...

I like a person to at least read ONE book of the Bible's New Testament before debating me on the existence of God and the realities of salvation.

So yeah...don't you dare even talk to me about my issues till you AT LEAST watch Mysterious Skin. You gotta have some investment --- some blood in the game...before you can play Head Coach with my life.
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#394753 - 04/24/12 11:01 AM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Still]
Chase Eric Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1491
Hi, Robbie! smile

Quote:
You need to watch Mysterious Skin with your eyes duct-taped open.

Read the book, saw the movie, have the T-shirt. Well, OK. I don't have the T-shirt. But I did have the book lying on a table at home, and my friend's sister saw it and asked if it was about psoriasis.

Quote:
I like a person to at least read ONE book of the Bible's New Testament before debating me on the existence of God and the realities of salvation.

I read the gospels. And I'm Jewish. Jesus is not my savior. But I loved everything he was about, and he is my guiding conscience. Sometimes I think he is a greater presence to me than to those who thump that book on their lecterns, warning me about the hell that awaits my missteps. Wasn't it Jesus who said "Love will cover a multitude of sins"? That alone says that you don't have to be a technical Christian or a technical Jew. You just need to have genuine love in your heart.

The Beatles said it decades ago - "All you need is love". Far too simple for many to think it profound.

I learned it from my Boy Scout Handbook which I read cover-to-cover as a Tenderfoot. Even at the age of 14, I could sum up the entire book in two words: forget yourself.

One of my favorite movie scenes - and the tears well up when I think of it - in American Beauty, where Ricky watches the video of a plastic bag dancing in the wind and says, "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I just can't take it - and my heart is just going to cave in."

He spoke right to my heart. I suppose if someone wanted to talk to me about MY issues, I'd make them watch that.
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#394768 - 04/24/12 01:00 PM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Chase Eric]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
He spoke right to my heart. I suppose if someone wanted to talk to me about MY issues, I'd make them watch that.


Good Fellas: How can I get real with anyone who hasn't at least watched Good Fellas?
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#394776 - 04/24/12 02:07 PM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Still]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3621
Loc: South-East Europe
Oh my I didn't watch Good Fellas so we can't be real, but Rob I plan to do wink
It must be terrible getting such message from F&F as "get over it", that hurts a lot frown
Anyway Mysterious Skin is great movie...
And Eric that scene from America beauty is on of my favorite as well!
If I would have to chose movie that resemble some my inner feelings it should be The thin red line which was hard to understand for some my friends and for me it is pure poetry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmIsvb27p...3756AC0E99E15A9
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#394787 - 04/24/12 03:14 PM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Still]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
i watched Urbania yestarday - - sad, painful movie
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    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#394795 - 04/24/12 06:53 PM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Still]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Before we loose my point..LOL...

I just want anyone telling me to "get over it," to have had some sort of realistic as possible look at what it actually IS in a broad and general sense.

People can and do ignore the intensity and nature of the acts upon the boys and men we were when being abused. They have no idea (thankfully for them) what details I carry in my head. The very same details I had to not only store, but also had to keep to myself...secrets I dearly wanted to be rescued from.

I guarantee that the sick and twisted acts I have to carry in my memories would be too much for most people telling me to "cheer-up" and "it wouldn't hurt to smile sometimes Rob."


Edited by Robbie Brown (04/25/12 06:25 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling (Aaron Spelling)
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#394821 - 04/24/12 09:56 PM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Still]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1491
The last time someone told me to "get over it" (literally using those exact words) was a friend and neighbor in the months following my best friend's suicide. I was stunned, and were I more gifted with a solid stock of testosterone, might have been inclined to answer him with a rather blunt, nonverbal reply.

But true to form, I forced a smile, turned away, and thought on it instead. The realization hit me rather suddenly later that night - he didn't have a clue! His parents were still alive, his friends were still alive, he never really experienced a loss - much less the special sadness that suicide leaves behind.

I don't know about you, but having lost my dad and my best friend, it's like I have x-ray vision. I can just tell by locking eyes with someone who tells me they are sorry if they have experienced it themselves. There's no right or wrong - just those who know and those who don't. Maybe in the middle are those who don't, but at least have a sense of decorum - but they are rare.

It's probably very much the same with CSA. I listen to people discuss it and can tell if they have any idea what they are talking about.

When someone says, "Get over it," all you can really do is smile and turn away. In that sense, you become the classy part of that conversation.
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Eirik




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#394844 - 04/25/12 12:01 AM * [Re: Still]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:32 PM)

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#394880 - 04/25/12 01:53 AM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: Still]
chambers Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 118
Loc: VA
Yea those general succinct comments only upset me more. I hadn't heard of Mysterious Skin, thanks for mentioning it.

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#394887 - 04/25/12 06:33 AM Re: Don't You Dare! [Re: chambers]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: chambers
...general succinct comments only upset me more...


Lately, I've stopped becoming as vocal on those advice bombs. If they are stupid enough to believe forced ***stuff*** on a little me was not a complete mind-fk, they are not worth my breath. And I walk away hoping they never, ever know that darkness first-hand.
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