I got a call from voices, or victoms of incest can emerge survivors. They told me that they dont know of any group or anyone who would know of group for male survivors. Man, i can lose faith in this process very easily. I'm trying really hard not to hate this world, but i feel like it has singled me out for some reason.

Sometimes i feel like good things are an illision, that its just a trick to manipulate me. I sometimes think if life is just about who is on top and who is on bottom, id rather be a monster than have to live like this until i die. I know i never could, but its so damn unfair. Why is my depression getting so bad? I dont feel like i have the energy to do anything. I am thinking of changing my medication or something. i havent been able to take care of myself, but it is hard to do anything to get help when nobody seems to care. Sometimes i wonder if i should commit myself. Probably not, just i get scared i wont be able to take care of myself sometimes. Do you still recieve disability while you are hospitialised? I dont know.

I eat every once in a while and try to keep up hygiene, but i still havnt gone to the store in a couple weeks. I feel really bad. Its still the same problem, i cant remember what happened exactely, and i dont know how to feel about what did. i have got to go i have class tonight.

Kevin,

Hang in there, ok? Keep looking as your able to, you will find something, i swear they hide the groups, i know they are out there though, just hang tough with it and keep doing what you can do, one day at a time, one little bit at a time.

I have confidence in you.

Hugs,

John

In all the time I have been working through stuff, I never really found much as far as groups for male survivors. They probably would have been too scary as I would have seen them as abusers.

What I focused on to heal and get support was groups such as NOMSV, Voices, other forums, and therapists. For me the therapists that helped me the most were women. In fact my current therapist is a woman as well. I used forums such as this to help me work through so much that I would have been afraid to tell anyone in person.

Healing through this stuff is not easy, but it is possible to move forward or at least that is what I am finding. It is one step at a time process though which can get very tough to deal with.

You might be correct that your current medication is not working for you. Discuss that with your medical provider and see what other options are available. I've found that some medications work great for me and others don't. I just had to find things that worked for me.

Hang in there though.... it will get better!

Don