Newest Members
cricket1007, Nickie98, jahfree, Daryl X., tryintothrive
12496 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
joeybird (54), ladyinwaiting (46), txpearl (46)
Who's Online
5 registered (woodenshoes, WriterKeith, 3 invisible), 23 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12496 Members
74 Forums
64168 Topics
447779 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#393651 - 04/16/12 02:54 PM compulsive tooth brushing
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
The man who raped me did many things to torture me and left scars and damage on my body and also my mind. Lately what really gets to me are body memories/triggers surrounding my mouth. I have kidney failure so I can only drink a small amount of water a day, and I have chronic vomiting so I already brush my teeth really often. Still, the feeling of minty freshness only lasts for so long, and then I find myself back at the sink brushing my teeth again. I probably do it about ~25 times a day.

I already ended up in the hospital recently because I kept drinking water trying to wash the dirtiness out of my mouth and the water soothed my hurting teeth. Dialysis + drinking too much water = never a good combination & I am a complete idiot and should have known better. I asked to talk to a counselor in the hospital because I was panicking, and she asked way too many questions like "Were you attracted to him?" and "Did you enjoy it?" I spent more time convincing her I wasn't gay and that he actually did rape me which was NOT what I needed to deal with when I was simply trying to find help.

At this point my mouth hurts all the time. My jaw feels like it is being pried open. My gums bleed when I brush now, and my teeth are really sensitive to the point where drinking hot tea or cold water really bothers me. Right now I just brushed, and already I need to brush again. It hurts to floss but I do it anyway. I use the Biotene mouth spray & gel because I can't drink much water but I still get thirsty, but the worst thing is that I can't get the feeling/taste of the rapist out of my mouth & throat, it still feels like he is always going to be there.
_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

Top
#393681 - 04/16/12 08:25 PM Re: compulsive tooth brushing [Re: CruxFidelis]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1355
Hi Pete,

I understand the compulsive need to wash or scrub away what the rapist did. I used to do it by showing for long periods or several times a day.

I am absolutely disgusted by what that "counselor" said to you.

HOW DARE SHE!!!

Anywho, back to the issue at hand.

I know you are already aware of the damage you are doing to your teeth and gums by brushing so frequently.

One solution to the damaging effects of the toothbrush might be dental wipes. They are cloths designed to be rubbed over the teeth, but they do not have the abrasiveness of a brush, so you will not be making your gums sore or eroding the surfaces of your teeth.

I do not know where to get them, so your dentist will be the resource to contact.

Another solution if you don't want to buy wipes, is to put a very small amount of toothpaste on the corner of a washcloth and rub that over your teeth. It will give you some cleansing and the minty flavor you seek.

Since your teeth are now sensitive, you may want to try switching to a toothpaste for sensitive teeth, such as Sensodyne, or something similar. Preparations such as that help fill in the surface of the dentin, which helps reduce tooth pain associated with hot and cold items.

I do not know if the dental sealant used to help reduce cavities would be an option to help protecting your teeth. Again, you would have to consult your dentist.

I feel your pain, and the need to wash away some of what happened. In time, therapy will help reduce the anxiety and the revulsion driving the compulsion. In the meantime, perhaps your therapist can help with strategies that won't be so physically hard on your teeth and gums.

(((((( Pete ))))))





Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

Top
#393693 - 04/16/12 10:58 PM Re: compulsive tooth brushing [Re: CruxFidelis]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3621
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Pete, I'm sorry to hear about your pain and compulsive teeth brushing, that must be some problem frown
Anyway I don't know what kind of tooth brush you use, maybe there is possibility for some improvement...
Here are some very good brushes which are designed to avoid damage to teeth and gums, see CS5460 Ultra Soft Toothbrush or even better for your case Surgical Toothbrush:
http://www.curaprox.info/index.php?cnumb...cn=Toothbrushes
Even these teeth brushes don't look like something special they are very differently designed in way to be as low invasive as possible not causing additional trauma to your mouth. Every type of Curaprox brush has different number which means number of flamens and you need as softner brush as possible (with highest possible number of bristles). That designed for use after oral surgery (The CS Surgical toothbrush) could be the best solution for your case. I don't know is this brand available in US.
Anyway I hope that you'll soon find way not to have that feeling in your mouth and that you'll fight your compulsiveness. Keep informing us how are you doing smile !

Pero


_________________________
My story

Top
#393849 - 04/17/12 11:46 PM Re: compulsive tooth brushing [Re: CruxFidelis]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
thanks for sharing that with me... I usually get the cheap store brand toothbrushes since I go through them so often but probably do brush too hard, and I do not always get the soft toothbrushes. I brushed my teeth a lot yesterday, but did try not to give in to every urge to brush. I restocked my supply of ginger candies and mints so those helped a little bit.
_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

Top
#393850 - 04/17/12 11:54 PM Re: compulsive tooth brushing [Re: CruxFidelis]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
The dental wipes sound like a good idea. My wife and my mom have been nudging me to go to the dentist for a few months now. It's been over 4 years since I've gone and I'm almost sure I won't get out of there without having some dental work done. I try to ignore the achy teeth & bleeding gums mostly because I am very afraid of the dentist shoving all this stuff into my mouth, me having a panic attack and not being able to tell anyone what is happening. My dentist has known me & my family since I was a kid. I was friends with his kids growing up and he's a really good person and a good dentist, but I don't think I could tell him what happened to me. I casually mentioned that i was probably going to see a different dentist, and I got a lot of flak from my mom for not going to this guy we've gone to for years. So on one hand,my current dentist is familiar and I know wouldn't hurt me, but htat doesn't mean he can't send me into a flashback & risk me bein ghumiliated in his office.
_________________________
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

Top
#393895 - 04/18/12 08:42 AM Re: compulsive tooth brushing [Re: CruxFidelis]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
I get it.

I usually go the other way with it. Plus, there is no way I will let the dentist in my mouth without heavy sedation due to my triggers about doctors and being passively restrained.

Maybe sedation would work for you? Plus it would be a good excuse for you to find another dentist. It's not uncommon and the dentist would probably understand even if you just said general anxiety.

Brian
_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

Top
#393917 - 04/18/12 10:22 AM Re: compulsive tooth brushing [Re: CruxFidelis]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1355
Hi Pete,

There always seems to be the difficult decision -- do I say nothing and suffer? Or do I disclose? It often feels like a no-win situation.

It has taken me a long time, but when faced with certian proceedures, etc., I find myself disclosing. I don't want to have flashbacks, body memories in the first place, and I certianly do not want them around strangers if I can help it.

If you choose to say something to your dentist, you can ask to speak to him on the phone. The conversation will be in private. If you prefer not saying anything until you get to the office, again ask to speak privately to your dentist.

However, I find that the hygenist is the one with whom I have the first dental contact. It isn't until she is finished that my dentist sees me.

Of course, if you prefer to disclose and you do not want to have a conversation with your dentist, you can give him a letter.

Dental care is scarey when there aren't any issues, and it is terrifying when there are. Please do not deny yourself this very important part of health care. Dentistry is much more than just cleaning your teeth.

Be gentle and kind to yourself.





Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.