I wish I had your courage to share the story of my own "coming out" experience when I was 21. There were a lot of similarities (although mine was a single rapist, and the physical trauma I suffered was not nearly as serious - I was extremely lucky). The rape of gay males - especially when the lifestyle is already so closeted and discrete - carries significant complications that confuse the victim and keep him locked in a self-loathing silence. My heart goes out to you.
Unless otherwise stated, everything I post in the routine course of discussion represents my thoughts
as an individual fellow survivor, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the moderator team.