To My Abuser Father,
I have wanted to try and face to face confront you for many years but I have not had the guts nor balls to face you face to face and let you know how I feel about what took place in my childhood that has caused havoc in my life for many years which I have been unable to do anything about until today when I choose to face you.
What you did to me as a father is so sick and twisted I really for the life of me cannot understand why the F*ck you victimized me the way you did.You did so much to me as a child that I live with the repercussions of it every day along with the bad dreams and flashbacks.The choking and the physical abuse and sexual abuse that you made me take was very unbearable.The An*l penetration you tried on me was not a father son relationship.Your Fondling of my P*n*s and sucking of my P*n*s is so sick and twisted for a father to do to his own child adopted or flesh and blood it is sick and wrong.
There are many ways your abuse has forever changed and affected my every day life starting with the relationship that I have with my spouse in conversations and in fights I can't openly voice what I think nor feel you have caused me to bottle up all my feelings and needs for many years and have caused me to be numb to everything in my life.The abuse has taken a toll on my sexual life and by this I mean I have to be on guard 24/7 and it has affected me being able to have a comfortable and normal sex life without having to relive and think of the things you did to me sexually.Another way sexually is by me not being able to build a family as I am scared of being a father thanks to what you did to me and how you treated me as a child.Another way your abuse has forever changed me is by me physically now being unable to not live in pain anymore and by this I mean you changed the structure and integrity of my spine completely.I now have had to have 2 seperate surgeries to my spine to reconstruct my neck and reconstruct my lower back where you used to hit me with your meat clever at my waist level which has caused permanent scarring.I now have to live on prescribed narcotics such as morphine daily in order to live.
The way I feel about what you have done to me is very angering and you know my redheaded irish anger can get down right cold and mean when I let my anger out of the can of whoop a** it bottles it self into.I also feel and think the sexual,verbal sexual comments and last but not least the physical abuse is so sick and twisted that I myself will not allow you to control my thoughts,feelings,flashbacks,dreams nor me being able to be a father anymore.What you did to me as a father is sickening and revolting and I pray one day you get treated for your demented and perverse actions that you did to Mark,Myself and last one that really pisses me off is my sister Kat.How in the F*ck could you turn on your own children for the life of me I will never understand this until we talk face to face.
You probably want to know how I feel about you now today well here goes nothing.I feel like I still care about you as my father but as for loving you as my father I cannot do this anymore.I feel very repulsed by you and very angry at the abuse you did to me in my youth.I did respect you at one point due to you trying to keep a roof over my head and clothing on my back and because you served our country but the respect that I had is now out the window when you shattered my life by the abuse.At one point I wanted to "Take you Out" however one day you will get your just reward for what you did to us kids and the time you did in prison and the probation is just the icing on the top of the cake that you yourself created as I know how much you love your Culinary baking so I thought I would use this analogy that you can understand.Just remember one day you will have to answer for what you've done not just to the local authorities nor the courts but by your own peers around you and also the man upstairs who keeps track of everything.I hope you enjoy a barbaque because you will roast once your dead as I know you want to be cremated I don't have any issues with the undertakers roasting and frying your sorry excuse for a worthless father that you were and still are today.
What I ask from you that you do about everything that I have addressed to you today as a worthless,uncaring Son Of A B*tch is this stay registered as a sex offender in FLORIDA and in SEMINOLE COUNTY and ANYWHERE you move to.I also demand that you not harm another child or anyone else for that matter and that you acknoledge the abuse in a letter to me as well as an apology for the harm you did to me,Mark and in a seperate letter an apology to my sister Kat for the harm done to her as well.Should you unfulfill these requests I will track and trace you to the end of this earth and I will plaster your registered information to everyone I can especially those with children.I must forgive you for the abuse in order to heal and move on in my life however I will never let you forget the abuse you perpetrated.You can make things easy or hard on yourself the rest of your living days it is up to you,the ball is in your court.I am not going to ask you to pay for any therapy at this time however I will reserve the right to take you into civil court and I will take you to the cleaners.The decision is yours to make just remember I will keep an eye on you and the slightest screw up and I will make the rest of your natural days a living hell to pay for.
A Son Never Forgets,