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#393211 - 04/12/12 04:45 PM 70+ Tough Life Questions
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Found this elsewhere. I really like it. Hope you do

SELF ESTEEM

1. I feel dirty, like there's something wrong with me. -- sometimes

2. Sometimes I think I'm crazy. -- Nope

3. I feel ashamed. – Yes, even if I look people in the face, my eyes automatically dift away. I even lose train of thought and don’t hear them.

4. I'm different from other people. -- always

5. I feel powerless. – Not in my imagination

6. If people really knew me, they'd leave. – Yes

7. I want to die. -- ???

8. I want to kill myself. -- No

9. I hate myself. – yes, getting better

10. I have a hard time taking care of myself. -- sometimes

11. I don't deserve to be happy. – What is that? Nothing, numbness is happy?

12. I don't trust my intuition or my feelings. -- rarely

13. I'm often confused. – Emotions, yes

14. I don't know how to set goals and follow through on them. -- yes

15. I'm scared of success. -- Often

16. I'm a failure. I don't feel capable of doing a good job. -- unfortunately, usually

17. I use work to make up for empty feelings inside. – use anything for that

18. I'm a perfectionist. – most of the time, getting better

19. I've made up a lot of stories about my life. -- yes

20. I've done a lot of shoplifting. -- never

MY FEELINGS

1. I don't think feelings are very important. -- I don't think MINE are – most times

2. I usually don't know what I'm feeling. -- yes

3. I can't tell one feeling from another. – yes (know anger and fear and numbness)

4. I only experience one or two emotions. – a lot -- I'm usually swamped with emotions. I hate them

5. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. -- usually

6. I have a hard time crying freely. -- always

7. I cry all the time. -- rarely

8. I get uncomfortable when I feel too happy. -- sometimes (if something goes right, it’s about to end—numbness, possessions are nice things)

9. I get nervous when things are relaxed and calm. – getting better, to me, that’s happy

10. I feel enraged a lot of the time. -- sometimes

11. I'm rarely angry. Anger scares me. – sometimes, yes it does

12. I get depressed a lot. – a lot, imagination gets me out

13. I have a lot of nightmares. – not much

14. I have panic attacks. -- sometimes

15. If I really let myself go, my feelings would be out of control. -- yes

16. I've been violent. – sometimes, inanimate objects

17. I haven't been violent yet, but I'm worried I might be. – I dunno

MY BODY

1. I'm not "in my body" a lot of the time. – never there

2. I frequently space out. – sometimes, lots when younger

3. My body often feels numb. -- yes

4. I feel as if my body is separate from the rest of me. -- always

5. I don't pay too much attention to my body's signals (hunger, tiredness, pain). -- usually

6. I think my body is ugly. -- always

7. I hide my body. -- always

8. I'm dyslexic. I had learning disabilities when I was growing up. -- never

9. I use drugs or alcohol more than I think I should. -- never

10. I often eat compulsively. – sometimes (smoke for that)

11. I keep myself from eating, or eat and throw up. – nope

12. I hurt myself on purpose (cut, burn or injure myself) -- never (now)

13. I have illnesses I think are related to my abuse. – always (CHF/Hyperthyroid)

14. I've worked out to make my body strong so I wouldn't feel like a victim. --

15. I've had flashbacks of the abuse during surgery or other medical procedures. -- no

16. I'm scared to go to the dentist. I hate the feeling of things in my mouth. -- no

17. (For women) I'm scared to go to the gynecologist. – N/A

INTIMACY

1. I often feel alienated from other people, as if I'm from another planet. -- always

2. Most of my relationships just don't work. – what’s that?

3. I don't have many friends. – always and none (offline)

4. I'm okay with my friends, but I just can't work things out with a lover. – I doubt either

5. I think I'm really meant to be alone. -- often

6. I'm not sure I deserve to be loved. -- always

7. I don't know what love is. -- always

8. I find it hard to trust people. -- always

9. I think people are going to leave me. – yep (I think they did)

10. I test people a lot. -- sometimes

11. It's hard for me to be nurtured or to nurture someone else. -- often. I nurture fine, but I can't let myself be nurtured. (nurture others, some)

12. I'm clingy with people I'm close to. (no idea) I'm afraid to be alone. (no) I like being alone, but it scares me, too. (no)

13. I'm scared of making commitment. When people get too close, I panic. – past, yes. Recent, yes (even online)

14. I have a hard time saying no. -- ???

15. People take advantage of me in relationships. -- usually

16. I get involved with people who are inappropriate or inaccessible. – sure, in past

17. I've had relationships with people who remind me of my abuser. – little experience to answer

18. I'm struggling a lot with my partner. – n/a

19. Sometimes I think my partner is my abuser. – n/a

20. Sexual abuse is really creating problems in my relationship. – n/a

SEXUALITY

1. I avoid sex. Deep down, I wish I never had to deal with sex again. -- rarely

2. I am celibate. I haven't had sex in years. -- never

3. I really think sex is disgusting. -- rarely

4. I don't feel sexual desire. I think there's something basically wrong with it. -- never

5. Sex isn't pleasurable for me. I usually have sex to make the other person happy. – I do the latter but it is pleasurable

6. I try to use sex to meet most of my needs. -- always

7. It really feels like I'm "oversexed" – ya think?

8. Sex and aggression are really connected for me. -- no

9. I find it hard to be close in nonsexual ways. It just isn't satisfying. -- always

10. I frequently go after sex I really don't want. -- sometimes

11. Sex is the thing I'm best at. – with humans, yeah

12. I've sold myself for sex. -- no

13. I've had sex with people who don't respect me. -- no

14. I need to control everything about sex. – yes, they cum a lot so they don’t mind

15. I have a hard time staying present when I make love. I'm numb a lot during lovemaking. – oh, yeah

16. When I am sexual, I have terrifying, scary feelings I don't understand. – maybe

17. I often have flashbacks of my abuse while making love (I call it sex). – no

18. I get sexually aroused when I read or talk about sexual abuse. -- sometimes

19. Violent, sadistic fantasies turn me on. -- no

20. I'm ashamed of my sexuality. – I dunno

21. I've sexually abused others. -- never

CHILDREN AND PARENTING (I have no kids)

1. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around children. Yep

2. I have a hard time being affectionate with kids. – have none

3. I have a hard time setting boundaries with kids. -- nope

4. I have a hard time balancing children's needs with my own. N/A

5. (For parents) I feel inadequate as a parent. – I don’t know

6. I have trouble protecting children I take care of. – n/a

7. I tend to be overprotective. – don’t know

8. I've successfully protected children. -- always

9. I'm scared I'll be abusive. -- maybe

10. I have abused children. -- never

11. My kids have been abused (by someone else). – n/a

MY FAMILY OF ORIGIN

1. I have strained relationships with my family. – yep

2. Members of my family have rejected me (or vice versa) – in past, yep

3. I have a hard time setting limits with my family. -- nope

4. People in my family invalidate my feelings and experiences. -- ALWAYS

5. I feel crazy when I'm around my family. -- nope

6. I can't be honest with the people in my family. -- always

7. My abuse is still a secret in my family. -- always

8. I'm waiting for people in my family to come around and support me. – fuck that cause it ain’t happening.

If many of the statements on this list were familiar to you, you may feel overwhelmed right now. Put the purpose of this assessment is not to overwhelm you; it's to show you that there's a reason why you experience the things you do. It's to point out the areas that need healing. It is possible to dramatically alter your life so that your answers two years from now will bear little resemblance to your answers today.

1. When I look over my responses, I feel... numb

2. I've been most strongly affected in the areas of... -- everything

3. I was least affected in the areas of... – there’s no least with me

4. The hardest statements for me to acknowledge were... – self-worth

5. I feel the most hopeful about making changes in... self-love

6. I already made major strides in the following areas... self-love

7. I feel the most hopeless about changing... I’ll probably always been lonely and alone

8. I was surprised by...

9. I learned...

Still have a lot to go.

Phoenix
xoxo



Edited by phoenix321 (04/12/12 04:45 PM)
Edit Reason: add
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#393217 - 04/12/12 05:26 PM Re: 70+ Tough Life Questions [Re: phoenix321]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2439
Loc: TEXAS
My fraternal brother.

(((Pheonix))). I like it too.

You have said it all pretty well as it is the real you.

Heal well, my fraternal brother, Pheonix, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Pete..Irishmoose.
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#393223 - 04/12/12 05:56 PM Re: 70+ Tough Life Questions [Re: petercorbett]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Peter,

I found the female sites have tons of stuff like that. Women love/hate to talk about how they feel and fill out questionaires. Belong to quite a few. Thank you.

Love,
xoxo
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#393241 - 04/12/12 08:24 PM . [Re: phoenix321]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:01 PM)

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#393243 - 04/12/12 08:40 PM . [Re: phoenix321]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:01 PM)

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#393246 - 04/12/12 09:22 PM Re: 70+ Tough Life Questions [Re: Life's A Dream]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
If you have DID, and you don't know it, couldn't some of your answers be different, depending on the day you answer this questionnaire?


Life,

Yeah, it could be way different. Getting others to take it might be a pain in the butt though. haha

Phoenix
xoxo
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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