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#392679 - 04/07/12 09:12 PM A Rebuttal
Sacred_Sage Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 141
I often find myself thinking about negative outlooks, and so to counteract this, I write out an argument for and against. I thought this might help someone here (I found this again when looking for paper this morning).

Trust (or lack of) for my friends.

1. It can't be possible that someone could care so much.

Why?

2. It can't be possible that someone can love me.

Why?

3. I can't believe what someone says.

Why?

4. I can't trust them.

Why?

5. I can't trust myself.

Why?

Negative arguments to the five statements.

1. I have mental problems, and I break down over and over again.

2. I'm not worth much. I'm broken and hurt. I'm confused.

3. I just can't believe it. They are telling me lies. I am so horrible that it just can't be the truth.

4. I've trusted people before. I've been hurt before. I can't take it anymore. I put up barriers to protect myself from them because they could hurt me, use me, and throw me away. I want to protect them from me.

5. I've made wrong choices in the past. I am quick to fall in love. I am quick to trust.

Opposite view

1. They do care that much. They are willing to do whatever is necessary to help me out. They've shown that over and over again.

2. I'm worth a lot because I help out, I make them feel good. I'm a good friend. They know I'm hurt and broken, and they want to help; not hinder healing. They know I get confused, and want to help me out.

3. It is the truth. I am not horrible. The only horrible thing is letting this get to me.

4. I can trust them cause they realize my pain. They want the barriers down and they want me.

5. They see those things as strengths, not weaknesses. We learn from our mistakes.

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#392702 - 04/08/12 03:07 AM Re: A Rebuttal [Re: Sacred_Sage]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3672
Loc: somewhere in Africa
sage -

when you see it in print, it makes total sense to come to the final (positive) conclusion. But most of us don't follow the logic trail that far. we get arrested by our feelings at the original statements (so much for claiming we "don't feel anything!") or the negative arguments. Thanks for the reminder to look at the situation objectively.

lee


Edited by traveler (04/08/12 10:23 AM)
Edit Reason: sp
_________________________
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho


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#392703 - 04/08/12 03:07 AM * [Re: Sacred_Sage]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:10 PM)

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