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#392212 - 04/04/12 07:51 PM Re: can he remember from baby times? may trigger!!!!!! [Re: confusion4life]
pat8 Offline


Registered: 08/01/11
Posts: 18
I have memories of some things when I was less than one year old. One of my brothers does too. My parents confirm. My other two brothers do not remember much.

The key to remember is that we talked about those memories when we were little kids, then teenagers, then adults. Because we kept telling each other our childhood stories, we kept them alive in your memories.

If one keeping recalling the memories of something that happened, one will remember them.

I do not know about 3mo old, though. However, your husband could have get his age mixed up(he could have been older), but remember some of the facts. Something so strong as what he is saying can have a very lasting impression in one's memories.

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#392589 - 04/07/12 01:38 AM Re: can he remember from baby times? may trigger!!!!!! [Re: pat8]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3397
Loc: somewhere in Africa
i just recovered a memory from 1 yr. 5-6 mo.
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#392632 - 04/07/12 10:27 AM Re: can he remember from baby times? may trigger!!!!!! [Re: confusion4life]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Confusion.

Sorry but I cant get this out of my mind.
There are so many things wrong here on so many levels.

First and most important, IS YOUR DAUGHTER SAFE. and Is she receiving therapy for the horrors that happened to her. I dont know the age but no matter it is a horrible happening.

Secondly
Your Husband was abused, no doubt, even if he just witnessed this happening to his sister it is abuse, it would have hurt him just to watch. I have a friend that was never physically abused but would from a very young age watch his parents have sex and later on watched his father and girlfriend have sex while his mother watched.
Today he has terrible alcoholism drug addictions and sex addiction. So from what you told your Husband was abused.

Please make sure your daughter is safe, first.
Your husband is confused, so although one can't remember abuse from as young as 3 months, he may have seen other children abused and so remembers this as his own abuse.

Both need therapy, and soon so please make sure that they get help.

Heal well
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
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#392754 - 04/08/12 03:50 PM Re: can he remember from baby times? may trigger!!!!!! [Re: whome]
confusion4life Offline


Registered: 02/12/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Italy
dear martin,

thank you for your answer. yes, my daughter is safe from the minute onwards that she told me she has been only safe, and yes, the other children are safe too. HE stays at a different flat and had no contact to any of the children alone or without me. my daughter wished to contact him three times until now, because she wanted to tell him how shit she felt when he abused her. the kids are safe. i got a court order which restricts him to even come near the house or any of us. any contact has to come from us or there is none. my daughter is 15 and she is a really strong small personality. she just agreed to go for one therapy session because i persuaded her to do that for the past few weeks. it was very difficult to make her understand that t is not for crazy people but just for people who dont want to go crazy.

i helped my husband to get into t but the therapist is...no words for him. he told him he is a genetical failure and he cant change anything about that. i am now helping him to find a new one because that t is useless. otherwise i am there for him as much as i can and as much as my daughter wants me to be. he is a survivor and thats the only reason i am still there for him. he stays like 1 km away, so its not too far, but he only gets my time after all the kids are ok and i find time for him. i am trying my best to support him and its not easy after what he has done. he has nobody else and i am all he got. i dont know about later, but for now he needs me.

thanks for your concern regarding the kids!!
manuela
_________________________
everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end

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#392759 - 04/08/12 04:12 PM Re: can he remember from baby times? may trigger!!!!!! [Re: peroperic2009]
confusion4life Offline


Registered: 02/12/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Italy
lol pero, thanks for this really nice post! and also thank you from my heart for all the other help you have already given me.

manuela
_________________________
everything is always okay in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end

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