Newest Members
lilac, The Wife Of, smusab, whiteflag, North101
12287 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cyclebreaker (41), monkeybusinessinky (28), Tom Byrnes (55), wind west (30)
Who's Online
3 registered (randombreeze, 2 invisible), 20 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12287 Members
73 Forums
63223 Topics
442102 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >
Topic Options
#374737 - 11/09/11 09:09 AM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: ren42]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1564
Anthony well said. Sadly it takes another case of a well known institution to remind people that abuse occurs everyday--more children's lives have been destroyed and changed forever. I fear the public will soon forget as many have with the Catholic Church. People have short memories, I am happy to see many in the public are not standing behind Paterno--the iconic football coach. It gives me hope that people will begin to take responsibility for what they do to a child and people will not standby and ignore when the hear, suspect or know of abuse. There were so many who could have stopped the continuation of the abuse. Now more childen's lives and those around them will be effected forever. I hope they receive the help they need, but sadly I have not heard of any outreach for the victims, hopefully they have support and love of their families. I know some will doubt them because they did not tell when it was happening. These people need to take the time to learn and understand the memories are buried because of fear, pain and hurt. Everyone needs to standby those abused.


Top
#374738 - 11/09/11 09:11 AM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: whome]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
Although part of me feels a sense justice in those guys being exposed to the world, part of me wants to crawl in a hole and hide. Triggering? more than you think. But I am privileged to live in anonimity and with the choice of dealing with my abuse and to reveal that part of my life at my own pace and to the people of my choosing. As Keith said above the media circus that this event has created. That is the scary part. Imagine you were one of the victims. How would i feel? If we are stressed in here, imagine what those guys who are dealing with this shit, whose life have been turned upside down. They must be scared, isolated and waiting for the media to find them. Not a good way to heal that's for sure. Not a word in the media about the victims and how they should be helped,to reasure them that their privacy will be preserved. They are just numbers. The university should be forced to hire therapist and make them available to these guys at the time of their choosing, as well as access to detox.............. if they really give a shit. But i doubt they will. This is about football and reputation.

_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

Top
#374739 - 11/09/11 09:27 AM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1169
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 08:57 PM)
_________________________

Stick around, It will get better....

Top
#374750 - 11/09/11 11:06 AM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: lapchinj]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1564
Just saw Paterno to retire at end of the season. The school should force him out now and not let him leave on his own terms. He failed those children--take responsibility. I am so sick over this, it keeps bringing back memories, ones I wish I did not have. Help those poor boys who were allowed to be abused because no one took responsibility or had the courage to report what was going on. I am sick over this and it makes me angry because every abuse scandal had people who allowed it to happen over and over again. The Catholic Church moved the perps around like chess pieces, moving from parish to parish and leaving the lives of so many children destroyed. The child was always the checkmate. Paterno--force him out and let him leave in disgrace.



Edited by KMCINVA (11/09/11 11:10 AM)

Top
#374757 - 11/09/11 12:53 PM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: KMCINVA]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 592
Loc: VA
Dumping Paterno won't help things, it's just a symbolic gesture. He's only part of Penn State's problem, and he's way past retirement age anyway. The danger now is letting the scandal fade--believing that the problem will disappear with the scapegoat. As we MS-posters well know, the harm won't be healed when the headlines are gone. Penn State (and every school) had better police their properties seriously. If someone sees a staffer naked with a naked child, they'd better at least ask "What's going on?" And child welfare outfits like "The Second Mile" had better re-scan the backgrounds of all their employees and volunteers with electron microscopes.


Top
#374800 - 11/09/11 04:01 PM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: Anthony39]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
I just watched an ESPN report.
They are concerned about:
#1 Coach Paterno's Legacy
#2 The present players missing out on a winning season.

No mention of any real concern about the victims. (As usual - the boys that have come forth are probably the tip of the iceberg).

Makes me want to puke.


Top
#374802 - 11/09/11 04:06 PM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: Anthony39]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
I just watched an ESPN report.
They are concerned about:
#1 Coach Paterno's Legacy
#2 The present players missing out on a winning season.

No mention of any real concern about the victims. (As usual - the boys that have come forth are probably the tip of the iceberg).

Makes me want to puke.


Top
#374803 - 11/09/11 04:14 PM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: Sobernow]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1564
It makes me sick how the children have been placed at the bottom. It is like what so many fear if they come forward--rejection,not being believed, shame and blame. Many survivors have felt this from those near to them. So what can we expect from the media--people do not want to hear the sordid truth of what has been done to these children. They want to focus on their heroes- Paterno sold papers and TV coverage, Penn State has a powerhouse football team that attract viewers. The children are left to hurt and face a changed future. Has anyone talked about setting up a fund to help these children with therapy and counseling? Has the press spoke of how prevalent CSA is in America--estimated 1 in 4 women and 1 and 6 men have been sexually abused. It is time for the media to turn away from the frenzy and focus on the issue CSA is a major silent problem in this country. I am so angry when I think some of the children could have been spared a life time burden if those who knew had spoken.


Top
#374804 - 11/09/11 04:44 PM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: KMCINVA]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 592
Loc: VA
Sounds more and more like a priest-abuse scandal all the time: all eyes on the sainted perpetrator and "the institution" of the Holy Church/football program... and none on the kids. The public's idea of a solution is to go after the head coach/bishop. We can only hope that this "The Second Mile" organization, where the perp picked up the boys, lives up to its name and sticks around to help the kids. And we should hope that some of them learn to cope as well as--or better than--we have.

John


Top
#374807 - 11/09/11 05:07 PM Re: the past becomes the present [Re: unhappycamper]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
My older 2 are at the protests calling for justice on behalf of the kids abused.

That's what brings about change, one good person at at time.....

Proud of them both.

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

Top
Page 2 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.