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#392326 - 04/05/12 04:01 PM Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1344
Hi Guys,

How many of us, and how many in society have heard "if a male was sexually abused, he will become an abuser?"

This is said with conviction and without the speaker of this "fact" conceiving of any other possible outcome.

This is the original study that is the source of that conclusion:

Groth, A.N. (1979). Sexual trauma in the life histories of rapists and child molesters. Victimology: An International Journal, 4, 10-16.


This article, starting on page 4, emphatically contradicts the erroneous conclusion and generalization of the original study.

It is time for the myth that a male who has been sexually abused is destined to become an abuser, is abolished.

That myth is harming us both emotionally AND politically. Because that conclusion has been so widely accepted for so long, it is negatively impacting the creation of resources for male victims.

For those of you so inclined, print the article with the information that contradicts that damaging study and disseminate it wide and far.

We need to start combating the erroneous conclusion that is so detrimental to us.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#392329 - 04/05/12 04:20 PM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: Anomalous]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
My experience has been quite the opposite. I hated the guy who was molesting me so much that I think I embraced my "victim" role. Maybe it was survival - I don't know. But the "role" he forced me to play starting at 12-13 is a role I cannot seem to shed. I've been typecast in a sense. I am enormously grateful I never had to deal with predatory urges. But I still feel twisted by the experience, and suspect that nobody emerges from it without psycho-sexual scars.

I consider myself enormously fortunate not to have become "him". But I think that was by the grace of God rather than a truly earned badge of honor. I stand in judgment over no one who does have to wrestle those demons.
_________________________



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#392339 - 04/05/12 05:44 PM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: Chase Eric]
Vadrian Offline


Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific
I wasn't really aware that people still held such a myth. I tend to agree with Alice Miller, PHD that it is the intervening factors (i.e. was there some other outlet for those emotions, was there also kindness present somewhere else in the child's life, etc) that decide whether any sa victim (male or female, as an adult or child) will go on to repeat the abuse on other people. While csa does operate as repetition (with some victims going to be abusers) that doesn't mean their should be a blanket accusation or stain on us all.

There is an epidemic of sexual abuse being silently inflicted on male children, and often by female predators. The prevailing stereotypes, including baseless feminist ones, definitely need to be attacked.


Edited by Vadrian (04/05/12 06:18 PM)

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#392365 - 04/05/12 10:13 PM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: Vadrian]
metsfan257 Offline


Registered: 05/25/10
Posts: 12
I'm currently working with my therapist to see if I can pick out a couple of people in my life to tell my story too (since not one person has any clue what happened to me) and this is a HUGE factor in why I'm afraid to tell anyone, particularly the one person I want to tell which is my sister that I'm close with... I'm terrified that her view of me will change and she will be "on alert" when I'm around her kids, etc, because she's a mother first, and so many times we hear about abusers having been abused.

For me, my abuse occurred because I let someone on the internet convince manipulate me during a time in my life where I was absolutely vulnerable... my dad died and I was sent to live with relatives in another state, and I was just lost. As they do, this guy took advantage and not having the awareness we have today, I bought into it and eventually everything got very confused and I was associating feelings of paternal love with sex and it took awhile to realize how wrong that was. But in my case, it was always for me, in that I never ascribed it to anything else thinking "this is how it is" or anything like that. I've absolutely never had a single predatory thought or was so mixed up that I thought it was normal, etc, and the thought of being looked at like that is enough for me to keep what happened to myself, because I don't think people can understand it.

Talking to my therapist I've made steps in breaking it down and really grasping what happened, why it happened, and the effect it had on me, but explaining it to someone I know is a whole different story because it's so profound and personal I don't see how they can get it. And I have real fears of being looked at like it's something I'm gonna repeat, which is the exact opposite because if anything it left me with a lingering attraction to older men, not the other way around.

Man this sucks.

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#392382 - 04/05/12 11:06 PM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: metsfan257]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
Mets Fan:

The most important statement in your post:

Quote:
...if anything it left me with a lingering attraction to older men, not the other way around.

Everything else is pure speculation. You are not responsible for other people's thought patterns. How typical for an abuse victim to take responsibility for other people's choices - just like you did with your abuser. Don't continue to do that with your own family. Step out, be courageous.

You're a Mets fan. Read about R. A. Dickey, the knuckle ball pitcher. He had to worry about how millions would react to the news of a professional athlete coming out as a victim of childhood sexual abuse. You are not alone with this fear - but it's worth meeting head-on. You are innocent, and that is the last word.
_________________________



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#392424 - 04/06/12 01:56 AM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: Anomalous]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
This is an important topic. This needs to be brought to the forefront of education on the topic of CSA.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#392441 - 04/06/12 03:37 AM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: WriterKeith]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL


Maybe it's the absurd lack of resources that creates a few monsters.



Edited by phoenix321 (04/06/12 03:38 AM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#392452 - 04/06/12 06:29 AM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: Anomalous]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
I found this on http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32315


Children who are abused or neglected are more likely to become criminal offenders as adults. A National Institute of Justice study found "that childhood abuse increased the odds of future delinquency and adult criminality overall by 40 percent" (Widom, 1992). Child sexual abuse victims are also at risk of becoming ensnared in this cycle of violence. One expert estimates that forty percent of sexual abusers were sexually abused as children (Vanderbilt, 1992). In addition, victims of child sexual abuse are 27.7 times more likely to be arrested for prostitution as adults than non-victims. (Widom, 1995). Some victims become sexual abusers or prostitutes because they have a difficult time relating to others except on sexual terms. (I do not agree with this statement)

Although about 40% of untreated nonincest offenders recidivate, studies have found that treatment can successfully decrease recidivism rates (Becker, 1994).

Note: Untreated is key here to 40%. That 40% also includes prostitution as crime as well as voyeurism, sexual dialogue, fondling, touching of the genitals, vaginal, anal, or oral rape and forcing children to participate in pornography or prostitution. (What the hell is sexual dialogue???)

27.7 more likely to be prostitutes is staggering. If you have shame over that, you're so way not alone.

Those stats seem inflated since they include prostitution, which I think should be legal if you're 18 anyway.

The truth is nobody knows probably since only 1% of child rape is reported in the first place. Same for adult rape (rape of adult men is probably way lower).
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#392464 - 04/06/12 07:24 AM . [Re: phoenix321]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:10 PM)

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#467974 - 07/25/14 05:06 PM Re: Information about the Abused Becoming Abusers [Re: Anomalous]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
An important article that shouldn't be lost in the archived threads.
Quote:

Hi Guys,

How many of us, and how many in society have heard "if a male was sexually abused, he will become an abuser?"

This is said with conviction and without the speaker of this "fact" conceiving of any other possible outcome.

This is the original study that is the source of that conclusion:

Groth, A.N. (1979). Sexual trauma in the life histories of rapists and child molesters. Victimology: An International Journal, 4, 10-16.


This article, starting on page 4, emphatically contradicts the erroneous conclusion and generalization of the original study.

It is time for the myth that a male who has been sexually abused is destined to become an abuser, is abolished.

That myth is harming us both emotionally AND politically. Because that conclusion has been so widely accepted for so long, it is negatively impacting the creation of resources for male victims.

For those of you so inclined, print the article with the information that contradicts that damaging study and disseminate it wide and far.

We need to start combating the erroneous conclusion that is so detrimental to us.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

Top
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