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#392137 - 04/04/12 04:16 AM helping others
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3620
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi every one!
Just need to share some my thoughts.
Recently I've been caught in some intensive communication to some brothers survivors trying to do help as much as possible. And that lead me to be on internet and here for almost all weekend. Now I'm a little bit exhausted and with some low energy. Anyway I wanted to ask if you can relate to almost compulsive wish to help?
I'm aware that in some other spheres of my life I have difficulties to say no, it is hard for me sometimes....
And now I've been in some same thoughts about giving hand to others. It is good thing to offer help, but sometimes I have to look for myself and here I have some difficulties.
How to make safe border in helping others or just in inter-relating with others. I have some problems in real life and some my friends and theirs demands which I've been trying consonantly to fulfill...
Is seems that I put always others in first place in my mind and my needs are always somewhere low on list if not lowest...
Pero
_________________________
My story

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#392148 - 04/04/12 08:03 AM Re: helping others [Re: peroperic2009]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Igor my first two months here it was like I was here 24/7. I had to try and help everyone. This helping people thing is very addictive. You get a high from it and you want more. Please remember to pace yourself. After my first two months I needed a three month vacation to get my head back on. Take care Mike

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#392149 - 04/04/12 08:22 AM Re: helping others [Re: mike13]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Finally Having a constructive outlet for our more Creative and altruistic desires is powerful and affirming. I start to see a new part of me that isn't like the old messages and toxic core beliefs I used to carry around.

And Learning to balance that outlet with self care and my own growth is important so I don't get burned out.

Eventually I learn how to share my journey (versus suggestions, ideas, and opinions not rooted in my own direct experience). My own journey has the added benefit of being true, real and from the heart.

I was told early on they I cannot give away something I don't have myself.

and when I myself need help, the most valuable thing I can get are someone to hear me out and if they have the same troubles, to hear what actually worked for them.




Edited by Mountainous Buck (04/04/12 09:19 AM)
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#392274 - 04/05/12 09:20 AM Re: helping others [Re: Mountainous Buck]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3620
Loc: South-East Europe
Thanks Mike and Buck!
I've taken some rest and I'll get off for some short time to get my inner pace back trying to learn to get some balance...
Mike I'll be regularly at HC for European-African time zone smile !
See yea guys!
Pero (Igor)
_________________________
My story

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#392296 - 04/05/12 12:25 PM Re: helping others [Re: peroperic2009]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1354
Hi Peroperic,

It is laudable that you want to help others, but you cannot burn yourself out in the process.

If you do not take care of yourself -- eating, sleeping, setting boundaries, etc., you will only end up hurting yourself, resenting those you are endeavoring to help and walking away from everyone.

Please read this thread about Self Care.



Be gentle and kind with yourself.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#392309 - 04/05/12 01:24 PM Re: helping others [Re: Anomalous]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3620
Loc: South-East Europe
Thanks for this Anomalus,
I'm getting suspicious here wink you always seems to have some nice links for some situations!
I've found my self certainly there, thanks again!
Pero
_________________________
My story

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#392390 - 04/05/12 11:52 PM Re: helping others [Re: peroperic2009]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11174
Loc: Denver, CO
Pero,

It is a wonderful thing for you to reach out and help others. You have so much to give, it is like adding more drink to another's cup. You want to fill the cup of others, and keep refilling, so they do not run dry,a nd this is admirable. Along the way, you want to ensure that your cup also is filled, and not run dry, my friend.

Andy
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#392448 - 04/06/12 05:40 AM Re: helping others [Re: FormerTexan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3620
Loc: South-East Europe
Thanks Andy, for adding some drink to my cup, I've almost stayed thirsty smile !
I'll make sure to remember your words!
Pero
_________________________
My story

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