Puffer, you're mom sounds like some of the shit my sperm donor pulled. No idea about your mum, but my "dad" is/was an asshole. Gee, people need a test before they become parents I swear to whomever is in-charge.
A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"