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#392097 - 04/03/12 09:57 PM Re: Suicide attempts: how young? [Re: phoenix321]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I guess you guys are right, its possible but we'll never know until I regain (if I ever do) the memory of that event. Didnt mean for this to turn into a thread about all of your suicide attempts.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#392100 - 04/03/12 10:29 PM . [Re: onlyakid]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:12 PM)

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#392123 - 04/04/12 02:06 AM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:03 PM)

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#392184 - 04/04/12 02:07 PM Re: Suicide attempts: how young? [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
If we are defining the term "kids" as under 16, then, yeah, I have not only thought about it, but tried it. I was walking on a road in the country, and was tired of trying to make sense of my life. My parents had kicked me out, I had no car, no driver's license, no place to stay. I laid down in the lane of the road in the early morning, just around a blind corner and fell asleep. I remember thinking to myself, "I could get run over here", and it felt like a good thing. I was awakened by a car horn, and looked up to see a couple of guys standing half out of their car in the same lane I was in, looking really unsure of what was happening. I got up, thanked them and kept walking, they drove around me.

Thanks onlyakid, this is good to remember what I have survived,
Sam


Edited by sasuva (04/04/12 02:10 PM)
Edit Reason: more depth
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#392192 - 04/04/12 04:11 PM Re: Suicide attempts: how young? [Re: SamV]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1153
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
Age 14. Ate a bottle of Valium and somehow woke up the next day.

Did lots of risky things after that (drugs, etc.) Fantasized about jumping off a very high bridge near our house (rail road tracks underneath).

Called a suicide prevention hotline when I was 18 and very depressed.

Still have thoughts occasionally, but would never do that to my wife and kids... But (alas) it is a comforting thought at times...

Jim
_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#397634 - 05/18/12 03:52 AM Re: Suicide attempts: how young? [Re: onlyakid]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 412
Loc: west coast
I am just reading this now late in the game, but i do understand both the empathy of the shared experience of attempting suicide at a young age.

At about 13 Took all my mothers antidepressants i could find. JUST CUX. then said " i felt like it"

Nothing ever came of it. So Knowing others went thru the same near death experience, that was never even acknowledge give great creedance to those feelings we were never good enough , we were never seen. Its powerful

BUT i totally understand what Anthony was frustrated about. THere is NO Place on here to talk about Possitive things

Those threads are dropped and forgotten like yesterdays bird shit.

MODERATORS>, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES

MAKE SOME CHANGES OR YOU LOSE VOICES LIKE ANTHONY"S AND OTHERS

WTF

YOU PEOPLE ALLOW US NEWBIES TO WALLOW IN THE SHIT < THEN THERE IS ONLY A BRIEF RESPITE BEFORE THE ONSLOT

GET REAL

RECOVERY IS A PROCESS, NOT AN EVENT

HONESTLY, PULL YOUR HEADS OUT

Even at the WoR i attended, i asked a fellow what is your name on MS, he said, i was there but i had to pull away, its too much negativety without the BALANCE

Oi already

PEOPLE STUCK IN THE SAME BULLSHIT STINKY THINKING THAT MANY OF US HAVE SUFFERED.

IF SOMEONE ON HERE HAS INUMERABLE POSTS AND THE TONE HAS NOT CHANGED< DO NOT LISTEN . FIND A VOICE THAT SPEAKS TO YOU> EMPATHY IS GREAT ITS NOT GREAT ENOUGH

ok i can breath now

cheers and have a good nite, newcomers, IT GETS BETTER! But YOU have to make it better.


Edited by 1lifenow (05/18/12 03:58 AM)
Edit Reason: more venting
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The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

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#397675 - 05/18/12 06:35 PM * [Re: onlyakid]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:44 PM)

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#397699 - 05/18/12 08:31 PM Re: Suicide attempts: how young? [Re: onlyakid]
Publius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 425
Loc: OH
I thought about it when I was in high school, college, and right after my first and only panic attack. I didn't really want to die but I didn't want to live with the pain of my reality. It was simply too much. When we look at something like suicide we have to pay heed to just how bad things have to get for a person to make them want to go against his/her most basic survival instinct. People wonder why so many CSA victims commit suicide, whether it be quickly or over a period of time, and here is my response:

The human spirit is like a great society and our mind the capitol. There are a number of evils we experience in life that act almost like bombing raids on the metropolis of our mind. However, the fires and destruction from a bombing raid can usually be remedied somewhat quickly by our capable selves. It is only after a long long long carpet bombing campaign that we as individuals even begin to buckle under the pressure (to give up entirely on life). Well, CSA IS AN ATOMIC BOMB. Tokyo and all the major cities of Japan were fire bombed into ruin by 1945 and still the resolve of the Japanese remained stood strong. Yet, after a couple atomic bombs on two non-essential military targets the Japanese to surrendered unconditionally.

I know I am kind of up my own ass with the analogy here but I use this to illustrate just how destructive CSA is for human beings.

So what about the positive? I admit I focus too much the negative. For one thing people generally take for granted the blessings that they already possess and give voice to that which they do not. That's just human nature but add to that the profound negative experience of CSA and I suppose I can be a bit jaded : P

BUT

The tide IS turning. For thousands of years children were a commodity to be used as seen fit by adults but those days are dwindling. 100 years ago we saw the birth of psychotherapy. Some 50 years ago women spoke out about their marginalization and their right to equality, which included not being abused as children. This helped pave the way for male survivors in the 80s and 90s to do just the same - to think in the 1950s they thought one in a million males were CSA victims! There are more organizations today fighting CSA than at any time in our history. Our survivor ancestors, so to speak, have made great leaps forward for all of us in a relatively short period of time. This is why I am optimistic. While retaining the integrity of their achievements we can attack CSA on new fronts, especially in the areas of child education and adult social services.

We owe it to ourselves, to our fellow survivors, and especially to those who have died fighting for our cause to stay the course. Every personal step forward is a battle won in the larger war against CSA (to borrow the ever more popular phrase). Our contribution need be nothing more than ourselves, our healing, and our happiness. It makes me smile writing this all down not because it sounds good to me on paper or makes sense to me intellectually but because it FEELS good to believe it is possible : ) Hopefully my faith will one day be vindicated!
_________________________
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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#397706 - 05/18/12 10:35 PM Re: Suicide attempts: how young? [Re: onlyakid]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 856
Loc: Kc,Mo
I attempted suicide when i was 16 i took a brand new bottle of Tylenol extra strength. I grabbed them swallowed the whole thing, walked into the living room threw the bottle and said you will not have to worry about me any longer .

My aunt flipped out crying cause she new what i had done . i went to my room locked the door and laid on the bed and closed my eyes and my uncle kept trying to get in the room and after about 5 minutes kicked the door in and told me to come on lets go to the hospital i said i am not going and he kept trying to talk me out of it and realized i was serious .

He picked me up through me over his shoulder and walked out the door with me . I was starting to feel very weird and my vision became blurry , i started to feel really really weird and when i got to the hospital they shot me with something put a large tube down my throat and i saw the dissolved Tylenol come up in the tube there was a lot of it .Than they put charcoal in the tube and pumped it into my stomach I guess it absorbs any left overs .

I crapped black charcoal for a few days .

I also attempted suicide a couple of times from 18 to 21 by alcohol poisoning i drank so much one time the doctor told me there is no logical explanation why i was still alive . i should be dead he looked so puzzled and said any one that drinks that much alcohol should be dead . Than i remember him saying by some one must have plans for you and looked up toward heaven. Than he left the room .

I took pills and alcohol at the same times and drank enough to were i did not think i would wake up but i always did .

Man i am so glad i did not die , My wife my kids and the fact that i have my life back and i almost let this crap take me out .
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#397741 - 05/19/12 02:17 AM * [Re: Publius]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:44 PM)

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