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#391687 - 03/31/12 09:34 PM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: peroperic2009]
somaticfilter Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 15
Loc: New York
Sherefe,

You are my mother, and I love you with all my heart.I wanted to thank you publicly for agreeing to be a part of my recovery process. Your love and desire to help is empowering, and I can't help but feel that with your considerable strength behind me, we can finally defeat my daemons.

I'm sorry for all the years I lied to you. I was afraid that it would be too hurtful, overwhelming to you. I was also afraid of exposing indirectly the fact that I am, as you know, bisexual. I feared being rejected by you as 'damaged goods' and abandoned yet again. I know of course that this was irrational, but the irrational fears are often the most difficult to overcome.

I love you dearly, and in a bittersweet way I think the sharing of this terrible pain will bring us closer together. It's a chance for us to start again and put aside everything that has driven a wedge between us over the years.

lots of love and thanks from your beloved son and new best friend.

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#391702 - 03/31/12 10:21 PM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: peroperic2009]
sherefe Offline


Registered: 03/30/12
Posts: 24
Thank you again for all your support. I look forward to connecting with the person you recommend.

There is comfort in knowing that my son's life so far has not been similar to that of other victims. The comfort comes I guess from knowing that others who have had similar experiences and responses have found their way to recovery. I'm sure it requires a great deal of effort and support from many people. Youth is indeed on his side My son is fortunate to have found this site to add to his support system and I'm glad he wanted me to reach out to the people here, too.

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#391704 - 03/31/12 10:33 PM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: somaticfilter]
sherefe Offline


Registered: 03/30/12
Posts: 24
My darling son:

There is strength in number and you and I along with others who love you, professionals, and the men on this site are a very mighty force.

It grieves me that you or other male survivors felt that they would be considered "damaged goods." it would, I think break any parent's heart to feel that a child would fear negative feelings at telling of his victimization. That fear may be the biggest deterrent to ending sexual abuse. And yet it is a very real fear. Better minds than mine will have to figure out how to convince men of that. But I think many women already knwo it. Many know too well what it feels like to be used as a toy and discarded when the user has had enough "fun." Mothers are women so how can they can understand?

You owe me NO apologies. No matter how many people say I couldn't have known, I will alayso feel I SHOULD have known, at least should have made you know that no matter what anyone did to you, my love would be with you. If I didn't warn you clearly enough about "inappropriate touching" if I didn't make you feel totally secure in the love of your family so that you could tell us, I am at fault and owe you the apology.

The past can't be changed but together we can end the pattern of misery you've lived with in the light of love and truth.

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#391814 - 04/01/12 08:41 PM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: peroperic2009]
pat8 Offline


Registered: 08/01/11
Posts: 18
Dear Sherefe,

I am a mother of child who was abused. He is only 7 now, he was abused when he was 5yo. I come here once in a while but I am very busy trying hard every minute of the day to undo or minimize what was done to him. Please feel free to email me.

Check this site that is for mothers of child abuse victim
http://www.mosac.net/

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#391818 - 04/01/12 09:17 PM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: pat8]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3487
Loc: somewhere in Africa
male survivor here...

reading this thread makes me cry. for the son, for the mother, for myself.

don't wasnt to hijack this but jsut gotta say - somaticfilter & sherefe - you are BLESSED! you might not see it that wasy - but i'd have done anything to have had my mom's support - hell - even to have had her notice anything or to have believed me when i one time tried to reveal - years later. she denied that my memories could be true. never went there again...

it is SO GOOD that you are facing this and working through things TOGETHER! so many of us guys here are so much older and have kept dark secrets buried for so long. it may seem like forever to you - but believe me - by addressing the issues NOW - you have a much better chance at a better life.

keep up the good work. we are here for you.
wishing you strength and courage and hope!!!
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#391831 - 04/01/12 11:29 PM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: peroperic2009]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
I am sorry for the pain you have both endured, but grateful that you are now on the road to recovery together.
_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#391842 - 04/02/12 12:04 AM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: sherefe]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Hi sherefe my name is Mike and I am a 36 year survivor. I love what your son but in this post. He has grown into a great man and you should be proud. Please let me offer any help that I can to help you and your son stitch your lives back together. I have helped several families and I look forward to helping you. Mike

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#391846 - 04/02/12 12:49 AM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: mike13]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I'm the male survivor of a mother. Does that count??

Puffer

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#391849 - 04/02/12 01:02 AM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: pufferfish]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
This is so beautiful thread, I'm touched with mutual love and support that radiate from it.
Dear Somaticfilter share with as much as you can, let us all help each other on path to recovery wink !
Pero
_________________________
My story

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#391858 - 04/02/12 02:18 AM Re: Any mothers of male survivors here? [Re: traveler]
somaticfilter Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 15
Loc: New York
lee

we cry together. you're right. I am blessed but until now I couldn't see it. how do I make this life work? how do I learn to function like everyone who's 'normal'? It seems impossible.

I'm in a strange state where I'm at my lowest but finally beginning to break free.

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