I'll just say that we all have in first place huge amount of work related to our own well being and recovery from so devastating thing like abuse - if we all don't do that we could actually be and are on way heading to place called "hell"
. So stop wasting your energy on some hypothetical issues and go working on yourself
Secondly as you are lamenting on your forgiveness, please step aside and think more on this. To be able to forgive to abuser - work that should be done to understand overall picture is even greater and task more complicated. There are many situations when it is not healthy and not possible to forgive. This is not religious question. And no one would go to hell because of that.
Please try to put more energy in understanding your abusers and their actions. And try to find what devastating things they did to you.
I'll recommend you book for all this issue about forgiving your mum. Based on your threads it is obvious that your both parents were toxic and that they didn't give you enough some basic thing needed for your well being as developing child, that thing is called love. I'm sure that they actually are on speed train heading to place where you are pushing yourself in this thread. Sorry but there are too many passengers already on board
So please try to find book called:
Toxic Parents; Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
by Susan Forward
Here is link to book at amazon, see description and issues that this book covers: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parents-Overcomi...239&s=books
Consider that book as some kind of homework and program, it leads you to reveling many sides of relationship abusive parent-child. Main intent is to give you strength and understanding of your position and persuade you to put some border against abusive parents, it is needed at all costs to do that, it is very important for your own health and future life. Main goal is to make clear message to abusive parents in form of written letter. Secondary goal after confrontation to abusive parents is explanation how to understand their position and to try to forgive them. But have in mind that there is some order to come there and forgiveness is last and not so important for abused child's well being as some first steps...
If you can't buy that book, here is very nicely designed web page about toxic parents (but book as personal program is for me better thing to consider): http://www.lightshouse.org/index.html#axzz1qiezuZox
Heal well my brother!