how are you doing now, Randy?
i started this thread over 2 years ago and it is so strange to see it come up again. i have definitely progressed a lot since i first wrote about it. i hope you are better now, too? if it is still an issue for you, don't hesitate to keep working at it. it can get better.
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"