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#391565 - 03/30/12 11:37 PM Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I promised Terrell's dearest friend Jesper I let you all know that Terrell passed away.

Many of us know Tman and know what a fine strong caring brother he was to many of us here. I don't know many as smart and thoughtful men really. Like us all he has his scars and wounds but damn he had huge capacity to help so many.

I can't understand how the world let a decent young man like him go so early. It makes no sense to me. Right now I can only feel blessed to have known him and know we will miss him.

I need to ask no one give up in his name. Terrell was prepared to go the distance to heal from his abuse and help others always.

I miss him. We miss him. God bless you Terrell. I hope you have peace now.

I hope my words are right. I'm sorry if they are not.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#391569 - 03/30/12 11:50 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1346
My thoughts and prayers go out to him and everyone who knew and loved him.. I'm so sorry.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#391574 - 03/31/12 01:16 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Chase Eric]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 761
Loc: michigan
I know I have to say something here but it is hard ...so very hard. Terrell was so kind to me especally given his life. He impressed me so much I realy was his great fan I am so glad I got the chance to tell him that often. He Cared and that is an incredable thing. The world is much less now as it is with the passing of any great man. I am much richer having known him
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#391576 - 03/31/12 01:31 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: newground]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
good bye Tman. hope we meet again in some new and more beautiful life.

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#391577 - 03/31/12 01:44 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3608
Loc: South-East Europe
Good bye Terrell!
Hopefully you've found your peace frown !
_________________________
My story

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#391581 - 03/31/12 02:46 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 406
Loc: west coast
I dont think he passed away

that sounds so banal,

serious trigger warning!

I talked to him many times, his life was fucking hell

he was in an abussive place where he was prostituted, and used and beaten

he felt he could not get away cuz part of him felt he deserved to be used and abused. There was part of his sexuality so wrapped up in the pain /pleasure cycle he could not see that he deserved so much better. He was abused, his little brother was abused.

He had a life that no one deserves. His mother was an addict and there was no love ever. He was afraid for his life, we talked about trying to get him to a better place, to go to the police, the authorities , anyone who would listen. Call the press i said, with all the penn state stuff , someone will come to get you out. No he said , "what makes you think i want out."

It breaks my heart , it really does. He was a really sweet guy, he was caring and empathetic. He did not deserve this fate

was he finally murdered when his perp went over the line, did he take his own life or die of wounds inflicted that went untreated? It doesnt really matter, but good wishes and prayers mean nothing. The only thing that would have saved Terrell was himself. It fucking sucks that so many wait for a sign or a hope that someone will rescue them when only the survivor can rescue the survivor. We can be supportive and encourage, but each of us must do what it takes.

Maybe its just all the tacit back patting that is so ineffectual, but its time to call bullshit. There can only be salvation if the person saves themselves. He finally told me to fuck off, stop trying to rescue him, "what gives you the right to think i want to be anywhere else" he told me. I guess I had no right. Sadly he is where he decided to be.
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#391585 - 03/31/12 03:11 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: 1lifenow]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3608
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Life,
you did great thing trying to help Terrell, my hat is off to you!
I wish that we all could save as many brothers as possible but that is very hard and uncertain task...
Knowing all that you've said about Terrell brings even more sadness to this thread. Sometimes there is just to many difficulties for survivor to cope with frown .
So sad story <sigh>.
Hopefully Terrell has finally found his peace...
_________________________
My story

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#391607 - 03/31/12 08:47 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: peroperic2009]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 761
Loc: michigan
hey life ...
I understand your feelings I think and what happened is crap. but Terrells' words to you came from pain,fear,and defeat .He never dared entertain the hope of getting out.trying had cost him very dearly in the past.his was a life I cant even get my mind around very much a modern slave.and though He was defeated,you can be sure you were right to want to help.and he did want out...but like so many he just saw no way.
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#391611 - 03/31/12 09:08 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: newground]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
Born a self hatin' little boy with a soul so pure
Beautiful and smart-- so young, yet mature
Talented with words, but the world doesn't see
That this is the only way that I know how to be me
Broken and beaten by this world that I despise
I've learned to block it all out, I no longer open my eyes
They've been permanently shut, so now I live through what I feel
But I've cut off all emotions so life's no big deal
I'll be great one day, that's what I tell myself
I'll be great one day without any of their help
I'll be great one day and then they'll see
I'll be great one day-- And good enough for me
_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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#391616 - 03/31/12 11:04 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Anthony39]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Terrell I am reminded of the Vulcan blessing Tuvok used on star trek. May death bring you the peace that you could not find in this life. I will be looking for you in the here after Bro. Mike

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#391642 - 03/31/12 03:26 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: mike13]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1346
I just saw this post about Terrell's death.

Like many of you, I often reached out to him, trying to get him to get help, escape his pimp, etc.

As as he said those things to you, he said them to me.

I know he was hurting, I just never knew about the rest of his family.

I lost a friend to domestic and sexual violence (she endured it from her husband for 17 years). It angered me that she could not reach out for help, or take the advice and resources I gave her and make an attempt to get help.

She was terrified of her husband, and his father. She felt they were omnipotent and they would track her down and kill her.

I'm sure Terrell felt the same way.

It is with a mixture of grief and anger that I think of his life, and his death.

I, too, hope he finds the peace in death that he could not find in life.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#391683 - 03/31/12 09:08 PM - [Re: Anomalous]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:32 PM)

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#391684 - 03/31/12 09:12 PM - [Re: exhale]
exhale Offline
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Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:32 PM)

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#391689 - 03/31/12 09:42 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: exhale]
kb8715 Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Jes, Terrell was a real good man and I know of others he saved in NYC too. And I know of men here he cared for here and helped.

He once asked me if it mattered that he wa African American and wore ink.. I told him I cared for him because I was lucky to know him from the inside and what was inside was all so good.

Words here may not all make sense but words won't take anything from his legacy or from what many of us know made him remarkable.

Jesper I'm proud to have been trusted by Tman and to have had his help. The same goes for you Exhale.

Be well all and yea, think kindly about Terrell as he thought kindly of each of us.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#391693 - 03/31/12 09:54 PM - [Re: kb8715]
exhale Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:33 PM)

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#391707 - 03/31/12 10:53 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
Oh no!

I had no idea.

Thanks Kieth for posting and Jes for enlightening us on his life.

I feel so sad. It is so sad, but i know he isnt feeling pain now, of any kind, i hope.

This is just overwhelming.

take care all, i love and care about you!

peace

paul
_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#391753 - 04/01/12 09:33 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: pbert53]
Sacred_Sage Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 141
Will definitely be keeping prayers out there.

Thanks, Keith.
_________________________
http://youtu.be/HL297ZTYVRM <---- In case you ever wondered what I sound like.

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#391755 - 04/01/12 10:19 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Sacred_Sage]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
oh no...
_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

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#391767 - 04/01/12 12:40 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Drop]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
No story to tell - Racoon

http://youtu.be/AJUpj1Yldb8

Don't give up the fight - Racoon

http://youtu.be/16A69F-F1F0
_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

Top
#391806 - 04/01/12 07:44 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Drop]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I did not writethis but promised to post it:

Rest in Peace Terrell
Born so sweet and pure
With everything to gain
Into a world that let you down
Took from you, and dealt you pain

Yet for all this world did to you
There is something that's still alive
This piece of you will live forever
That's your spirit and your drive

It breaks my heart to write this
For doing this means i agree
To accept that this is not a bad dream
That you're really gone, aged just 23

Remember that time we laughed and joked
At how it takes a lot to make us cry
You're probably shaking your head at me now
I cant believe it, I cant believe this is goodbye

All those things you had planned to do
It was gona be okay
It wasnt supposed to end like this
It wasnt. Not this way

Reading over old chat logs
You know I really did care
You'll never ever know how much
I wanted you out of there

I would've done anything for you guys
I would've helped you in any way
I never told you but i broke down bad
Reading your message on new years day

You had your little crew
These people knew you well
They had the ability to touch your heart
And get beyond your protective shell

There is one thing that makes me happy
You found it - take it to the sky
That amazing thing called unconditional love
As we both know, some things money just cant buy

You had so much left to give
And so much more living to do
How any god can justify this
For this I've not a clue

So as you're greeted at the gates of heaven
All broken, battered and torn
For all the good you did in your life
Eternal happiness is now born

I can hear you telling me 'dont trip'
And i'm trying, I really am
My cat never came home that time you know
Take care of him will you, his name is Sam

Some of the puppies never made it either
You'll recognise them up there too
I guess we protect each other
I didnt have the heart to tell either of you

Every time I hear The Voyage
I'll think of you and smile
I'm glad I got the chance to know you
Even though it was just for a short while

You've been taken way too soon
Why, I will never understand
I hope you rest in peace now dear Terrell
Its ok. The angels are holding your hand
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#391839 - 04/01/12 11:45 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Thanks for posting it even if I can't stop crying Mike

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#391940 - 04/02/12 05:42 PM - [Re: mike13]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:33 PM)

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#391947 - 04/02/12 07:32 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: exhale]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
His art was amazing and so is your photography too. You both are creative strong men.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#391950 - 04/02/12 08:20 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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#392039 - 04/03/12 10:04 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Anthony39]
rook Offline


Registered: 03/30/12
Posts: 25
What a lovely poem, by a very caring person, I'm sure.

It saddens me deeply to read this about Terrell, who by all your accounts was a good decent man in a very bad situation who was taken way to early and may in death find some peace.

He was lucky to know all you and you him .Remember the good words, thoughts and feelings he shared with you.

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#392320 - 04/05/12 03:02 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: rook]
gjonbos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/23/11
Posts: 48
Loc: MA
Just wanted to come in and say that I was heartbroken by this news. Terrell was part of a group of guys here who were welcoming and friendly when I first joined, making me feel comfortable to be here and be open. He was undoubtedly loved by so many guys here, and will be missed deeply. I hope those that were closest with him remain strong and find comfort in knowing that he is resting in peace, away from all of the pain and hurt he was so familiar with.
_________________________
"Place your past into a book
Put in everything you ever took
Place your past into a book
Burn the pages let them cook"

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#392371 - 04/05/12 10:33 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
Thanks Keith for posting her poem. It is so good and heart felt.

peace

paul
_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#392388 - 04/05/12 11:29 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: pbert53]
Human Offline


Registered: 03/14/12
Posts: 62
Loc: private
R.I.P. Terrell~

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#392409 - 04/06/12 12:44 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 948
Loc: southern California
Terrell, good private msg. MS friend and kind spirited StAiNeD, your name joins the others who motivate me when I haven't the strength to even crawl.

With the parting of each survivor who could not finish the journey with us, I am all the more determined to speak up and speak out for those who cannot.

Respect to you, Terrell, and hugs to you, Jesper.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#392780 - 04/08/12 07:43 PM - [Re: WriterKeith]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:33 PM)

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#392791 - 04/08/12 08:01 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: exhale]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1651
He was a fighter, he gave so much to everyone. Life can be difficult, endured so much pain, made to feel unwanted. Abuse is horrible, robs life from the victim. I think of Easter, a new beginning but some proclaim their goodness but sadly they are their own victims, they destroy lives to protect their false perceptions. To kill a human soul is murder. Terrell gave of himself despite his abuse. Sometimes I think we hear of their failures and not their triumphs and good deeds. I think abused people give much but do not expect recognition. Their sense of self is lost but want to give because we need approval. Sadly today's socidty only recognizes those that demand and shout what they have done. The CSA survivor is lost because we give to because we have no self esteem and are only validated by giving but we fail also because we self destruct which hurts other. Terrell RIP and thank you for being you


Edited by KMCINVA (04/08/12 08:04 PM)

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#392798 - 04/08/12 09:21 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: exhale]
mrwhiskers Offline


Registered: 02/22/04
Posts: 193
He was a warrior, a fighter, for many of us he was a hero, a beautiful and caring soul, he never let his past defined his present or his choices,he naver, never gave up or let any of us give up, he was a real friend and i was blessed to call him "my brother"
I miss you T,but I know..u r in great company


Edited by mrwhiskers (04/08/12 09:23 PM)
_________________________
"Dont be scared... angels r here" Maria Fernanda (Mafer)

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#392826 - 04/09/12 02:54 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: exhale]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 948
Loc: southern California
Hi Jesper,
Sorry you misconstrued my sympathy regards. "Not finish the journey with us" is another way of saying "passed away," a better manner when referring to someone who has died.

Our thoughts are with him.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#392872 - 04/09/12 01:57 PM - [Re: WriterKeith]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:34 PM)

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#392936 - 04/10/12 02:00 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: exhale]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 948
Loc: southern California
No prob, Jesper,
Man I hope you know we are standing with you during this hard time.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#393371 - 04/13/12 11:19 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
It hurts to loose anyone. It hurts to see someone so young and full of potential leave us. It hurts to loose a good man here who consistently was kind to everyone here.

It just hurts I guess and it just seems like this post should not fall to the back pages and we not be quick to forget him or why we do this together.

Look out for one another. Never give up on the other guy. We all have our scars but with care and concern we make our steps.

A lt of us miss you Terrell.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#393402 - 04/14/12 03:55 AM . [Re: kb8715]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:00 PM)

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#393407 - 04/14/12 05:20 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 948
Loc: southern California
Perfectly stated.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#393442 - 04/14/12 02:08 PM - [Re: kb8715]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:34 PM)

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#393452 - 04/14/12 04:14 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
My favorite is the dinosaur but that's not mine to share. He explained to me why he drew it though.

Like a lot of us he worried about the other man here and I can't recall him ever complaining about his own wounds.

He had true Swag. We miss him but no way are we going to forget him
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#393453 - 04/14/12 04:21 PM - [Re: kb8715]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:34 PM)

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#393473 - 04/14/12 09:09 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Thanks for sharing these. To some StAiNeD is just a screen name. Some of us were lucky enough to know Terrell.

Like I said he was active here and reached out and touched many of us. Tman would be the first to say he was as good but no better than any survivor here but there is no doubt this place was a place he came to give and get support care and concern.

No way we should forget him or what we can do to help the other man.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#393475 - 04/14/12 09:19 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
john22 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 179
Loc: Europe-Belgium
I'm so surprised Terrel passed away, i wasn't here a lot for quite a time, though I remember him a great time. He really was a great guy. Troubled but still great. And I'm so taken back to hear the news of his death. I so hope he's now in a better place.

John

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#393575 - 04/15/12 09:30 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Troubled but great describes many good men here. We carry our scars and yea at times they show.

Terrell pushed many here to heal and many of us did the same for him and others. It's what we do.

I just can't reconcile loosing him or any of us for that matter. As you know he did not give up, and no way was leaving us his choice.

It's just so bloody hard to accept.

Please keep healing all.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#393776 - 04/17/12 02:39 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
thats some amazing drawings
I know he's gone but it feels like he's just taking a break from ms or something
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Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
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#393796 - 04/17/12 05:22 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 406
Loc: west coast
I still am reeling from this.

I re-read my post and some of the others afterwards.

I get the impression that somehow my words have been interpreted that I implied that his death was somehow his choice. Nothing could be further from the truth. If i offended anyone or gave that impression, i am truly sorry.

of course he wanted out, he wanted a real life. His was unspeakable.

I was deeply upset when i wrote that, frustated and fucking angry that this happened to such a sweet guy. He was desparate and in a unimaginable pain.

What I was trying to relate is that, when we are so stuck we cant make any step forward backward sideways -frozen. It makes us deer in the headlights. I live this everyday. Trying to make even the smallest changes , any little victory. Sometimes I think it will never change and I did not have anywhere near the painful past or present he had.

I cant even imagine what he went thru. Its just that for any of us, on any of our journeys, its sometimes feels like there are no options. There always are, even if we cant imagine them, cant see them or even fear them. They are there. I struggle everyday to embrace that.

Its just beyond tragic he didnt even get that chance.
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The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#393876 - 04/18/12 03:43 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 948
Loc: southern California
Jesper, thank you very much for sharing this sketch by Terrell with us.
What a perfect image for male survivors to take in.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#393918 - 04/18/12 10:25 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1346
Hi Jesper,

Thank you for sharing these.

His talent is amazing.





Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#393988 - 04/19/12 12:57 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: Drop]
mrwhiskers Offline


Registered: 02/22/04
Posts: 193
Originally Posted By: Drop
thats some amazing drawings
I know he's gone but it feels like he's just taking a break from ms or something


I know....
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"Dont be scared... angels r here" Maria Fernanda (Mafer)

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#394024 - 04/19/12 08:40 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Terrell will never truly be gone. He will always live in our hearts and in our minds

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#394042 - 04/19/12 10:37 AM - [Re: kb8715]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:35 PM)

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#394095 - 04/19/12 04:44 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
such a gift... so sad
_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

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#396265 - 05/06/12 09:16 AM - [Re: kb8715]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:35 PM)

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#398304 - 05/24/12 12:43 PM - [Re: kb8715]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:35 PM)

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#398314 - 05/24/12 03:43 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Yep Jesper....you are right. Happy Bday Tman.
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"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#398561 - 05/27/12 11:58 PM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
mrwhiskers Offline


Registered: 02/22/04
Posts: 193
I miss him lots too....but I know hes happy now...and hes in great, loving company, smile have 2 angels in heaving watching over smile
_________________________
"Dont be scared... angels r here" Maria Fernanda (Mafer)

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#398577 - 05/28/12 05:05 AM Re: Our Brother StAiNED.....Terrell [Re: kb8715]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Amen to that Mr. Whiskers

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