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#390848 - 03/26/12 03:38 PM Disappointed
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
I am disappointed that my post was closed. I didn't realize that saying goodbye to a friend fellow survivor, a brother could be such a contRoversial topic.
I can remember when there was a post where a survivor mentioned his attraction to children and that post was not removed until much later. I accept the fact that even if I disagree with a post I can choose or not to address it.
What bothers me is that we seem to seek for a uniformity in opinion and views so as not to disturb the whole of the group. much like we diagnose children who are too active with ADHD and give them drugs to mold them to the rest of the group. The strength of a forum like this one is in bringing different views together and expand our horizons to new possibilities. If we keep removing the individual's deemed a problem, we do a disservice is to those who search for answers. I am well aware of the issue at stake here, and we are slowly loosing the dynamic atmosphere that elevates those of us in need of for lack of a better word " a kick in the butt" . It is those clashes of personality that allow for new ideas to emerge, for more understanding and eventually respect of others. Otherwise we can just all go to church and live in peaceful bliss knowing that all will be well no matter how crappy we have had it here.
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Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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#390851 - 03/26/12 03:43 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: Anthony39]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1389
Loc: California
Hi,

I don't know the person in question, but I did read the post you're referring to.

I choose to trust the moderators here; their goal is to establish and maintain a safe place for all of us to come to. This includes managing user interactions from time to time, and also deleting posts that might be dangerous for others to read/see, and for the poster themselves.

As CSA survivors, we are all struggling with identifying and maintaining healthy boundaries. I trust the expertise of the moderators to know when boundaries are being crossed, or are heading dangerously in that direction.

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#390859 - 03/26/12 04:32 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: Magellan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3599
Loc: South-East Europe
Don't be disappointed Tony, don't take that personal. Maybe I'm sort of guilty (well I'm sure about that) because of my open mouth. Sorry for that, my apology...
They just prevented further conversation to go in unwanted way.
I can't talk too openly; it is not big thing but I was warned on my comments recently just because of some remarks of "authority figures here" and their actions in another similar situation. But have in mind that they do really good job trying to make safe place for us and that is their main interest in all actions. I hope that they used "temporal" measures and that in some time everything would be same as before if you know what I mean.
Have some hope!
Pero
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My story

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#390891 - 03/26/12 07:52 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: peroperic2009]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Tony I agree fully. With no disrespect to mods I don't get the inconsistency at times on what is or is not acceptable.

I have no idea why Castle was banned. I do know I see a lot if stuff posted here that seems questionable too and don't get it.

Perhaps the mods can educate us on basic things like how mods are selected, trained, what rules are applied, how bans are applied etc.

This place can help but the history also says at times it's hurt men too from what I understand. No one wants that of course.

Closing discussion on that post seemed very wrong I agree. It was constructive and polite in nature, which is true of all of your communications.
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"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#390922 - 03/26/12 09:43 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: kb8715]
ModTeam Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 690
Gentlemen,

The previous discussion was closed because it reverted to a discussion of moderator actions in public, which is contrary to site guidelines. Many of the questions in this thread can be answered at the following links:

Website Guidelines

Website Suspension Policy

Again, site management is not at liberty to discuss why a person is suspended, out of respect for their privacy. Other questions maybe directed to the site administrator through private message.
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Private messages sent to this account are checked irregularly due to personnel and time constraints. Please send messages to one of the moderators for the forum that is concerned by user name, or if there is no named moderator, send a PM to any moderator.

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#390956 - 03/26/12 11:46 PM Re: Disappointed [Re: kb8715]
gjonbos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/23/11
Posts: 48
Loc: MA
I vividly remember my first few days as a member here on MS. I was feeling confused, terrified, frustrated...and I don't think I would have lasted another few days if it wasn't for a handful of people who reached out to me and offered up unconditional support, a judgement free listening ear, and their own experiences and feelings - the member being discussed included. And I know with certainty that I wasn't the first guy that could say that about him....or the last. I've been witness to certain threads and on the receiving end of hurtful and damaging comments by some members who still post and visit this site freely, so the methods used to determine what is acceptable or who should stay and who should go, are lost on me as well. I'd be remiss if I didn't say that I think the site lost a valuable and productive member recently.
_________________________
"Place your past into a book
Put in everything you ever took
Place your past into a book
Burn the pages let them cook"

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#390982 - 03/27/12 04:17 AM Re: Disappointed [Re: Anthony39]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: Anthony39
It is those clashes of personality that allow for new ideas to emerge, for more understanding and eventually respect of others. Otherwise we can just all go to church and live in peaceful bliss knowing that all will be well no matter how crappy we have had it here.


Did you go to the church I used to go to, Anthony? ROFLMAO! Thanks for the laugh. Seriously, Mods are human. Not discussing their stuff but everyone makes mistakes. If I can't post something helpful, I don't post much here anymore. I posted some stuff (self-injuring) elsewhere for that reason. Helpful to me is: hey, I'm in the same shit and let me explain (you're not alone), had that problem and here's how I fixed it, here's something I read that is helpful. It's hard but realize we don't really know anyone on the Internet and people will be jerks. The worst thing on here is for posts to get no replies. If people don't know and nobody is responding, sometimes I'll type, "I'm sorry, man. I don't know how to help but I'll listen" or something similar.


Edited by phoenix321 (03/27/12 04:18 AM)
Edit Reason: add
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Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#390983 - 03/27/12 04:45 AM Re: Disappointed [Re: phoenix321]
ModTeam Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 690
Gentlemen,

You have made you feelings known. At this time, the topic will be closed. Please do not carry this topic into another thread.

If you have any other questions, please direct them to site management in a private message.
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Private messages sent to this account are checked irregularly due to personnel and time constraints. Please send messages to one of the moderators for the forum that is concerned by user name, or if there is no named moderator, send a PM to any moderator.

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