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#390197 - 03/22/12 10:34 AM My Co-worker
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
For the past few weeks a nurse at the hospital I work at has been hinting that she would like to date. To be honest, I'm not all that attracted to her, she is overweight but then again so am I. Recently its been really bad with her co-workers starting in on me to that she might be a nice person to date.

On the one hand I'm not really attracted to her, she's a nice person but she's very overweight (again I am overweight too so I'm not judging her for that, just I dont seem to be attracted to her in part due to that).

On the other hand, it would be nice to have a girlfriend and to do stuff with her. I'm pretty isolated with no friends to hang out with and in who knows maybe she cleans up well, maybe with some makeup and something other than scrubs she might be more attractive. Also I've never been on a date as some of you might recall, so that would be a good step.

Also lets be for real, I'm a male and I have sexual needs. Maybe if my first date doesnt go well, I could explain and see if she would be open to a friends with benefits type situation. Not some cold, call her up, when can you come over for sex type thing, a we can hang out as friends but there definately isnt a connection.

I dont know, hell I'm new to all this. I'm 33 but due to the abuse again new to all this.

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#390200 - 03/22/12 10:45 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 727
Loc: NJ
Seemingly your not physically attracted her, but maybe her personality will win you over. Why not give it a try and be open to how it goes without going in with any expectations or thoughts of conditions.

Go have some fun and see how it goes, let yourself live a little and dont put so much pressure on yourself to do X.

If you keep waiting around and looking for that greener grass, you might miss whats right in front of you.

Give yourself the chance.

Weather is really nice in NJ great places to go have some fun right now.

Just my .02

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#390203 - 03/22/12 11:06 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: Castle]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2572
Don't force yourself into something in order to get needs met, you'll just get hurt.

I'd say see about getting to her for who she is, then if you find you like her as a person, then move from there.


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#390205 - 03/22/12 11:10 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: JustScott]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Don't force it. A simple dinner date commits neither of you, but could be a truly pleasant evening. If nothing else, you might make a friend you ca just be yourself with. Good luck.

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#390279 - 03/22/12 09:58 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: Jim1104]
G5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 203
Loc: New Jersey
Sounds like the right time to take a chance. She might not be the ideal date, but it would be good practice for you to go out and have some fun. Leave the expectations behind and just try to enjoy the time out. You don't have to make any commitment as to how the date should turn out.

Let go just a little bit. I bet you'll have some fun. And it'll be a positve experience that you can use for the next time you have a date, be it with her, or someone else.

If we don't risk just a little bit, we continue to let our demons control things. Choose to do it different. Choose to change the pattern. Choose for yourself.

And have fun...it'll be awkward, but dates are for everyone. Not just us.

Chris

_________________________
WoR Kirkridge '08
WoR Alta Advanced '09
International Conference '10, '12
Oprah 200
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WoR Alta Advanced '12
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#390280 - 03/22/12 10:06 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
Originally Posted By: onlyakid

Also lets be for real, I'm a male and I have sexual needs. Maybe if my first date doesnt go well, I could explain and see if she would be open to a friends with benefits type situation. Not some cold, call her up, when can you come over for sex type thing, a we can hang out as friends but there definately isnt a connection.


Careful, man!

This sounds to me an awful lot lilke a user type scenario - and that - IMHO - is pretty close to becoming an abuser!

Sure - get to know her - but not with some sort of ulterior motive of just having sex to satisfy your own needs. Dangerous ground for both of you. Remember how that feels?

Sorry to be so blunt but you could do yourself some damage here - as well as her...
Lee

_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#390281 - 03/22/12 10:21 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: traveler]
Fidex Offline


Registered: 11/09/11
Posts: 37
when does 'friends with benefits' ever work? Lol. sorry I just know the majority of girls who agree to that believe it'll become a relationship (the smitten ones especially) and your stuck with a girlfriend you don't see as often but with just as much if not more dramatics. Especially a coworker, man I just would not tread there. It takes special kinds of people to pull off stressless (that's the key) benefit friendships.

I don't agree that looking for sex and having intentions equates to abuse but I think we all need basic sympathy for people we get together with. If she wants a serious relationship don't play her. Everyone is looking for something different and you need to be aware and remain open to that.
Of course that said, you won't know unless you get to know her.


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#390289 - 03/22/12 11:55 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: Fidex]
rrush Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/22/12
Posts: 11
I think you should just go have a nice time dont think about sex or anything like that... that just will put presure on your self and if something doesnt happen like you would like then you dont fell let down. I say just do it for fun and just try and get to know her for her.....
but go slow


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#390294 - 03/23/12 01:39 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: rrush]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Traveler,
Now that I have sometime to think about the whole fwb situation, it seems like a bad idea, however I don't see it being like the abuse or using her in any way. As long as she agrees to it then I disagree with you. She is an adult women who can make her own decisions not a kid.

The whole working together thing scares me though. I'm just waiting for that to go bad. I dont see her all the time but I do have to go there to fill up the machines atleast 2x a night.

Anyway thanks for the advice it gives me something to think about

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#390296 - 03/23/12 01:56 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
Ok - maybe i was over-reacting because of my own history - just be careful and take it easy. i still think it's risky to rush the physical side of things so be sensitive to her feelings as well as your own.

Lee

_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#390470 - 03/24/12 02:42 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Kid,

She's an adult. FWB is okay. But, let me warn you. Friends that have sex and that's it sometimes can make you feel like a hooker. Make you feel used. Hurt your self-worth. I've been there. I was bipolar so anything was fun. I sometimes felt like a hooker. If you're okay with that and just want some loving, have fun. Just don't be a prick doing it. Let her know upfront it's just sex.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#390507 - 03/24/12 10:41 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: phoenix321]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1928
Loc: durham, north england
I must confess given my own history my advice will be different.

I have no idea what "dating" exactly means, in fact to my knolidge I've never dated anyone in my life. I've been out to various places, dinner, coffee, concert, cinema etc with female friends, indeed I did this just last week, but never has there really been a suggestion of anything else.

on that basis things can be fun and I'd advise as much,whether she is overweight or not, indeed a rather close female friend of mine is distinctly! over weight and someone who i never considder as physically pleasant (and that from someone who finds nearly all women betwene about 18 and 45 attractive in some way, indeed so much so it makes little to no difference to what I think of someone), yet she's a good friend.

I freely admit my decision to give up on the entire relationship thing completely has not been easy, and has come with a lot of regret and frustration, but now, a couple of years after taking it, I find myself far happier, far more able to relate to people, and though i still have regrets when I see a couple who have the sort of experience that I've wanted, they are far less.

There are after all a lot more interesting things in life than just relationships, and I'd advise you to make friends and concentrate on those things, rather than get caught up in the hole social push that glorifies s/x and romantic ideals as the be all and end all of our relations with others.


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#390518 - 03/24/12 12:36 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: dark empathy]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1340
Hi OnlyAKid,

I can empathize with you about the not knowing how to do the dating thing. I am also in that position.

When a woman wanted to meet me a year ago, I was nervous as heck. My first inclination was to say "no." As I spoke to my friends, seeking their opinions and advice, I started to think of things in a different way.

My biggest fear was that she was going to want things to get sexual. She had already told me she didn't have any hang-ups in that area and that she hadnt' dated for a while.

I was terrified!!!

By the way, I wasn't physically attracted to her, either.

One piece of advice my friends and my T gave me was to keep the date/ meeting VERY PUBLIC. Go to a very busy park, movie theater, diner, etc. Someplace where there was NO possiblity of being alone and havign things possibly go further than I wanted (or was ready to have happen).

We went to the dog park. We decided to go in separate vehicles. Afterward, we agreed to go to the diner for a late breakfast.

Much to my surprise, it was fun. I had a great time and I learned that she had a spontaneous and zany sense of humor.

What really surprised me was what happened over the next few weeks and months.

Although we spoke on the phone (she mostly spoke about problems with her boss), I found myself wanting to be with her in that special way.

I kept vascillilating between the "I'm not attracted to her" idea as well. I have to admit I'm not the picture of attractiveness, either.

But those issues are superficial. It is what is in a person's heart and in their character that matters.

We never did get together in that way, becuase of my being terrified. As a result, she decided to start dating another guy.

I kicked myself for a long time -- not for not taking that step, but for at least not telling her that I had difficulties and possibly working things out so we could go much slower.

Do not think of this as a situation that must become sexual. And do not trivialize it into a FWB situation, either.

Who cares if she is overweight? Weight can be lost.

What matters is the person she is on the inside. You want someone caring and funny and who is accepting. The rest is superficial.

My advice to you is to go out.

Keep things light. Go someplace very public so there isn't any opportunity for hte two of you to have a lot of "private" time and for you to then feel backed into a corner.

If you can't think of a very public place to go, go on a double date with friends who know you want to keep it light.

If you go to eat, make it a late breakfast or lunch. Dinner might be "too suggestive" at this point.

Find out the things she likes before hand -- perhaps you can bring some music, etc. you can both enjoy.

Keep the pressure low.

Go have fun.




Anomalous



Edited by Anomalous (03/24/12 12:38 PM)
Edit Reason: Corrected sentence
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#390628 - 03/24/12 11:19 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
Publius Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 396
Loc: OH
Speaking from experience I can say that getting into a relationship just for sex does not work out for you in the end. Neither does pretending to be attracted to someone just so you can share intimacy with them on a physical or emotional level. This is just another way of lying to yourself, which inevitably leads to you and quite possibly her being hurt. I don't think a date is a bad idea but I caution against rushing into anything. I am unaware of where you are at in your recovery but I know many of us struggle with our romantic lives because of the after effects of CSA. I highly recommend taking care of yourself first until you feel you want to be dating/in a relationship rather than feeling compelled to do so by society or any peer pressure.



Edited by Publius (03/24/12 11:20 PM)
_________________________
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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#390657 - 03/25/12 09:06 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: Publius]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Other thing is if the relationship goes bad I have to work with her. Not everyday and not all the time but it would still feel akward especially not knowing if she told any of her coworkers anything. But sometimes you have to take risks. So not sure exactly what I'm going to do. Also dont know what the reaction with be in my department, I'm sure I'll get some comments about dating a fat chick, etc. etc. Cuz people will find out, even if I tell no one in my department they will hear about it from someone.

Anyway, still up in the air but I do have to step out of my comfort zone not sure if this is the right time though.

BTW. Not exactly sure where in my recovery I am due to working on it on and off but I'd probably say somewhere in the middle. Not just starting out but not close to finishing by any means.


_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#390675 - 03/25/12 11:38 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1928
Loc: durham, north england
As I said, why worry about dating at all? why not just be friends?

About %70 of my friends are female, and some are extremely close, yet I've never had a romantic relationship, nor at this point do I really believe it's necessary to have one.

I'm not sure if this is because I never learnt all the little social pickups and ability to read intentions as a teenager that your supposed to, whether nobody has been the least interested in getting closer to me than a friend (something I believe but I'm prepared to assume is my less than reliable faculty of self assessment), or indeed just the sterriotype that it's always the man who is supposed to make the first move (I've often wished I was female just for this reason), a first move which I do not think I even understand or am capable of making.

Either way, what the heck! what is so important about romantic relationships anyway? friendship and enjoyment of life is much more bennificial.

I've never really understood the school of thought that says a man and woman, ---- or for that matter two gay women or men can't just be friends with each other and there must always be some romance behind it, sinse for me, that is simply not the case, indeed one friend of mine, who is the only lady I'd ever trust to see me wearing a dressing gown and certainly the only girl I'd ever share a house with is someone who actually said back in our first year of uni (her being incredibly blunt), "I like you! but not in that way" which was fine with me sinse I felt the same thing.

What exactly is this "Dating?" and why must it be done at all, what's wrong with just being friends?


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#390948 - 03/26/12 11:20 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: traveler]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I've been thinking a lot about this and tonight I got a bit excited about it. About the prospect of being desired, being wanted and it felt good but then the anxiety started. What if I screw this up what if this gets me triggered? What about my social anxiety issues?

I want to do this but I guess I'm scared. This is so messed up. I'm 33. But yet I'm 12 or 13.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#390953 - 03/26/12 11:37 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
You can do this. You're not committing to anything - just a one-time meeting for coffee or lunch or whatever YOU decided. small steps - one at a time... try to focus on getting to know HER - prepare questions in advance so you'll have something to talk about. everyone likes someone who takes an interest in what they are interested in. Go for it!!!
Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#390994 - 03/27/12 09:16 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: traveler]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Well my social anxiety issues made me embarrass myself. I don't like meeting new people and one of the pharmacists brought her fiancée by the pharmacy. I came back from doing something outside and there he was. They were all talking and it took me a second to figure out who he was (I have seen pictures) and I quickly walked into the back room and then decided to leave out the back. I waited for a while doing other stuff around the hospital that kinda needed to get done. When I walked back in the pharmacy, they had left and the pharmacist who I worked with asked me where I went (not the one who brought the fiancée but another one) and I told her what I was doing and she said ok but I could tell that she didnt believe me. This is the kind of stuff that I worry about happening if I start hanging out/ dating this nurse and then that will screw things up further.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#390997 - 03/27/12 09:44 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Dear Onlyakid,
please take it easy, slow down and breath.
Forget completely about talks on dating, sex things, anxiety things and other scary things. There is no need for that, relax that 13 years old boy inside you, hug him and give him support smile . He doesn't need to be scared and worry, It should be fun thing. Dare to go out and discover world. You can do it man!!!
You have post recently about your niece who is much younger than you and already has had her first date, you were very disappointed with yourself at that time. Well let yourself living some dream, just one time in your life and for small wish like this one.
I think that you are more than capable to call this girl out and spent one or two hours in talking to her. There is no need for anything above that for start. Lets move with small steps forward. Repeat those words: small steps forward, I can do it...
I know that you can do it, I know that you need it and I know that you'll like it.
Take some deep breath, forget on others and all problems, you won't screw anything here. You'll build some self-worth and self-esteem. That is some issue here.
Please, please dare to try!!!
You have support of 9776 Members from MS and I will be free to represent all them here for this occasion, this is huge bunch of supportive people smile.
If there would be any problem after we will take care for everything, just stop worrying and relax! That girl could be in same thoughts and problems with herself, you both need just some talk for start, nothing more...
Believe in self!!!
Pero

xoxo

_________________________
My story

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#391598 - 03/31/12 06:11 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: peroperic2009]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
So you can grow to love someone even if your not attracted to that person? Maybe it's me but I thought that while they don't have to be attractive to everyone, you atleast must be attracted to them?
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#391604 - 03/31/12 08:30 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Off course that you have to be attracted to someone for love, but love can happen even otherwise too,life is not that simple smile .
I've just tried to encourage you to go with the flow without some deep thinking. Actually to avoid thoughts like you have just posted: hard questions on love, attraction etc...
Couple of us tried to tell you that no matter if something is called "date" or whatsoever that should be fun and you are in charge there, so you (and other person too) are the one who is deciding would that be just small talk,¨opportunity to get know someone new or would you bee trying and asking for something more. Don't be pushy expecting too much. Let it easy, let that be just something like long coffee break. And if someone ask you, just tell that you have been at date wink . One date usually doesn't relate to love questions, there has to be more of those smile!
You need any experience to get some boost of your self worth, try to think like that!
I was on several dates like that with girls that weren't attractive to me, but we went out and have some good time. One or two those fell in love and asked for something more and I wasn't experienced enough to see that. We were repeating those dates and those girls become very pushing to me and at the end we had to split. So if you will find some girl unattractive just try to avoid spending time with her further and that would be message....
Please shut off those worries smile
You can do it man, I need to remind you that now we have here even more supporters for you, MS has now 9785 Members and they all are supporting you in this, don't let us down, you can do it smile!
_________________________
My story

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#391676 - 03/31/12 08:20 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: peroperic2009]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Pero,
I wish it was that simple for me, dont think about it just do it. But nope, not my style. I have to know what the plan is. Im not sure about this, will she think this is more than it is? I dont want to hurt her feelings. I dont want it to be awkward at work either.

Maybe this is a good opportunity, maybe its not. I dont know. I dont think "any experience" would really be a boost to my self-worth. I know your just trying to help but I dont know if this is the help I need. Then again, maybe it is.

I'm confused
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#391679 - 03/31/12 08:34 PM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Sorry Kid if I've sounded pushy to you!
Take it easy, if this is not good time it will be in some future smile!
I'm also like you sometimes and it is much easier to help someone than to do same thing by self.
But try to be affirmative by making some plans and fulfilling them, knowing that you are capable of many good things would boost your confidence...
Fight for yourself smile !
_________________________
My story

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#408695 - 09/02/12 07:19 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
She's now switching shifts to the day shift and while I might see her from time to time, it won't be as frequent. Maybe this makes things better in case it gets awkward if I decide to go out for a date and things go wrong
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#408704 - 09/02/12 11:34 AM Re: My Co-worker [Re: onlyakid]
Blessedcurse Offline


Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 93
Don't know how it works for you but I have discovered many times that people I did not find physically attractive become more and more attractive the more I like their personalities. It's like the visual stuff kind of merges with the personality for me. I start seeing things I didn't see before, like the posture, the way of movement, the eye color, the special way the person smiles. Gradually over weight becomes nice curves and irregularity in a face becomes interesting caracter...

I can also say this works both ways. People I find attractive at first gradually become less physical attractive when I don't like their personalities. Beautiful long hair starts to seem like a barbie doll, a muscular body starts to look uninteresting...

Just saying. Maybe you could get to know her as a friend and see where it leads. I have never understood the dating thing, sitting there with a person you barely know, both of you having expectations and hopes. Friendship has allways been the better start for me. Also, if you are friends, you will more easily know if she is the type that can handle casual or not.

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