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#417628 - 11/29/12 10:18 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Please donít feel defeated by the process of recovery. The tools are there, recovery can happen, Ghosts of the past really canít hurt us. It can get better.

I donít read the forums too much anymore. I know people need to vent but we have to be careful not to overwhelm each other with sadness and negativity, and see we can regain much of what was lost. I know we can, I see those few I am really close to from MS making strives every day. You have to seek out the positive here and learn first-hand good men are healing and giving up nothing in life that counts. It is not meds, not Therapy etc that made the difference. Itís a desire to heal, love, & laugh, help others that matter and make the difference.

I am watching a non-survivor who is very important to me struggle with a painful and serious health condition now. Heís angry, sad, and scared too . But heís refusing to give in and is determined to overcome his challenge. We can too.

I've sat and worked with many Hurricane survivors who lost everything they had and yet are thankful to be alive. So should we.

Iím really not sure recovery comes from the past at all anymore. I think it comes by letting it get better today.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#421914 - 01/12/13 09:53 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I'm watching a loved face a life threatening illness.

Few people I know love life more than they do. And they never had it easy, they have known real pain for years. But they look beyond that and see what its all really about.

None of us caused our abuse or deserved it. But not society not the press not the government or our friends and family own our recovery. Only we do. Look anywhere else for the answer and you likely might not get past GO.

It only gets better if you want it to.

Either way I wish everyone all the best.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#421918 - 01/12/13 11:41 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1167
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing

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#421937 - 01/12/13 06:56 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I'm watching a loved one face a life threatening illness.

Few people I know love life more than they do. And they never had it easy, they have known real pain for years. But they look beyond that and see what its all really about.

None of us caused our abuse or deserved it. But not society not the press not the government or our friends and family own our recovery. Only we do. Look anywhere else for the answer and you likely might not get past GO.

It only gets better if you want it to.

Either way I wish everyone all the best.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#425369 - 02/15/13 01:18 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I respect the anger and the hurt, been there done it too at times. But I know it gets better.

That small handful of MS memebers who I truly know all have made huge strides, all are healing. Yea, its possible. So please never give in to the fear we can not recover.

Recently the guy I most partnered with here in recovery said, "we are crazy, crazy is good, crazy is different, what's wrong with crazy?". Not a damn thing. Crazy can be real good.

And that loved one I mentioned still faces the fight of his life with Cancer. But watching him refuse to yield reminds me we can not either.

Life is short, there are no promises, we all have to find a way to be at peace and do some good along the way...
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#425391 - 02/15/13 03:44 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 393
Loc: west coast
Originally Posted By: kb8715

Life is short, there are no promises, we all have to find a way to be at peace and do some good along the way...


Mr. Keith

I so agree with this last post. Its so tough sometimes to not live in the anger and the hurt. Some call it the Karma of what happened, the bad ju ju that can pervade our lives or as mel brooks might say the schwartz is not with us. But I prefer this following concept:

Herman Kuhn, quoting from Tattvarthasutra, describes karmas as "a mechanism that makes us thoroughly experience the themes of our life until we gained optimal knowledge from them and until our emotional attachment to these themes falls off"

I find that the more knowledge and insite i can come to through any means, the less power it seems to have over me. I was lucky enough to have a valentines dinner last night made with love by my bf of three months. He knows about the CSA, the ADHD and the history of the truly irrational behavior that can although never really be understood, can now at least help be explained. And he loves me inspite of it, because of it, who knows. Its part of what makes me who i am but its not all that i am.

I struggle every day, but its not the same struggle everyday. Dark clouds will always be on the horrizon and I do get angry, tired, frustrated and rail at the heavens sometimes. But eventually the shadows lift, the skies brighten and hell ya, it does get better.


I love this image cuz in the dark side there is an 'eye' of light and on the bright side a 'window' to the dark broken side. Yes in many ways we are damaged, affected, injured but we in our short time can like you said, we can refuse to yield. So the revenge or the wheel of karma can turn in our favor if we make it so by living the fking createst lives we can, perservering what and only what we are capable of. I ask you, What more can be asked?

Thanks again Keith

grant
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#425405 - 02/15/13 05:39 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1167
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 10:21 AM)
_________________________

Stick around, It will get better....

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#425674 - 02/18/13 08:26 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
The Doctors have said a good mental attitude is key in a Cancer fight.

Early on when I needed a T, the same was said of recovering from CSA.

Hang on to the pain, that is all you will know. Want to blame the world for our hurt, and there will be plenty of choices.

But the world did not let us down, an individual or in some cases individuals did. It's a God awful thing that kids are ever hurt in any way, but healing and recovery is happening all around us.

We don't own any aspect of the CSA that took place, but we 200% own our individual recoveries. And plenty do recover.

It's gets better when we see that.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#426775 - 02/28/13 02:30 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
One of the Mods reached out to see how I was.

Nice folks our Mods, huh!

I advocated with him like I always do in these rants:

FORM A PEER SUPPORT NETWORK!!!!!!!!

I did not join MS assuming I would make a couple life long friends who I know will always be there with the right words or actions, day or night.

If you don't have a few fellow survivors like that in you recovery tool kit, you are missing a key to the lock.

There is a silent majority healing here in ways that astound me. I hope you each are part of that group of thrivers.

Get's better if you work the plan.

Thanks to those who look out for me. Thanks for letting me have your backs as well.

Oh and thanks for asking SamV
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#430304 - 04/06/13 01:29 AM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Maybe sometimes if you take a step back and look at the bigger picture you can see it gets better.

Sexual abuse of a child is a horrible thing but there are many things life will throw at all living beings that you either will stand up to or be consumed by. Standing is the only option. Life is worth living.

I have spent the last year watching someone who matters a lot ask as we do, why me? He raged he got scared he fought against the support provided he acted out at times, he never gave up.

He's got scars on his chest ribs and back, and I'm sure his soul to show for it. But he's not given up or given in. He's thinking a tatoo over the rib scars that reads "This Too Shall Pass" might say it all.

His fight was never about CSA but he would swear to you it does get better. He would greatly thank a special few of you for always helping his Dad through his fight too.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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