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#389979 - 03/20/12 10:52 PM Christian response to abusers
GoodHope Offline
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Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 416
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#390021 - 03/21/12 09:57 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: GoodHope]
MrEdd Offline
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Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 317
Loc: Texas
The Christian response is properly taken from their>
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#390050 - 03/21/12 01:48 PM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: MrEdd]
JustScott Offline
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Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Actually those passages don't say anything about how Christians should treat those people, but more so about how God views those who harm children.

Will there be consequences? Most definitely.

God is judge, He alone knows the hearts of people and as such knows if there is true repentance or just game playing. He will Judge.

Grace is available to all. Not all will accept that grace. Some will only appear to receive said Grace but will only be continuing to play their game. God is not fooled by the games of men.

It's all fine and good to quote say... Luke 17:2, but what about verse 3?
So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.

Repentance is key, but notice it's not up to the offended party to determine if that repentance is genuine. Truly though their lives will show if they really are repentant. Although even if it is, it doesn't mean there will be any kind of restored relationship between the two.



Edited by JustScott (03/21/12 01:52 PM)

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#390104 - 03/21/12 07:15 PM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: GoodHope]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
The old testament would throw them in jail for ever or execute them. The Catholic Church used to have them pray and all was forgiven in confession. We all know how that turned out. Many billions of dollars later they found it doesn't work. Considering churches seem to think victims are scum or just ignore them entirely, I really could care less what some preacher thinks. I've been there. They didn't want to hear it really. God may forgive them but man needs to punish abusers. Oh, men are 70% more likely than non-believers to abuse their wives. Sad statistic, ain't it?



Edited by phoenix321 (03/21/12 07:39 PM)
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Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#390307 - 03/23/12 04:57 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: phoenix321]
mike13 Offline
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Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Goodhope thanks for starting this post. I am faced with a problem, a women who I deeply respect has a husband who crossed the line. On the one hand I could shoot the #### with no problem at all. On the other she and the child he hurt want to be able to forgive him someday. They want me to try and help him. I have had to turn my gut inside out to come to some middle ground that will satisfy both camps. This exercise has been a real gut check on how real a christian I truly am and where I need to go to get closer to Christ. Mike


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#390320 - 03/23/12 08:06 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: mike13]
JustScott Offline
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Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Not to hyjack the thread...

Mike... is this guy repentant? Has he been reported to the authorities? If not, Christian or not, he needs to be reported. What kind of help are they asking you to give this guy? Are you a therapist?

I mentioned elsewhere that there are 2 convicted (and have served there sentences) fellows in my church. I truly have a sense of "compassion" toward them, because their repentance is real and genuine. I put that compassion in quotes, because while I feel able to offer them grace, my heart is still heavy and hurts for those that they hurt. What they did can never be fixed and they both realize and own that. But it still hurts and the damage is still there.


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#390329 - 03/23/12 09:26 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: JustScott]
mike13 Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Just Scott the police are processing him through the justice system but I still have mixed feelings. He is seeing a Therapist but the therapist has no real experience with these types of patients. I want to believe he is on the road to repentance but I wonder if it is because of God like sorrow or he is afraid of who he will have as a cell mate in the big house. I know being a christian is not easy but showing this person some compassion and fellowship maybe my toughest challange yet. If I can face it then maybe there might be a future for me as a therapist Mike


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#390335 - 03/23/12 09:54 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: mike13]
JustScott Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Ok, sounds good.

I hear ya about the challenge. I'd like to be a T someday myself should money/time finally all work out and yes I'd specifically like to work with abuse and trauma victims etc.

Good to know the police are aware. Showing compassion and fellowship doesn't mean not holding him accountable. Feel it out and in time you'll know if there is real remorse. Maybe try to get him to understand the reality of the wounds and damage he has inflicted so he begins to truly truly understand the great evil he has created.


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#390339 - 03/23/12 10:11 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: JustScott]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Mike, that is some challenge.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you couldn't find any compassion for him. Just one remark it is completely different to give assistance/help to some victim at one side and to abuser at other. Don't mix those two and don't expect much in this case. I wonder has he some capacity for empathy in himself, that is thing that could make difference. Real challenge would be finding the way for answer on that question...
pero

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#390343 - 03/23/12 10:27 AM Re: Christian response to abusers [Re: peroperic2009]
GoodHope Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 416
I posted this BECAUSE I'm not there yet. Not even close. Even before I knew my husband was abused I hated (in a biblical) sense pedophiles and anyone who hurts children. I've been diving deeper into my faith for the last 6 years and God keeps showing me how short I fall on forgiveness. He showed me from a difference, then he showed me close up as I struggle to forgive my husband for acting out, then God shows me this!!!!!???!!! Really, my husbands perps??!!!??? But it doesn't say "except for pedophiles, rapists and murders."

I pray I'll get there. I'm doing a 40 day forgiveness study and I'm going to try to scrape away the hardness of my heart.

Child abusers, God? Really? Ok, really.

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