I relate to what you're writing. What others are saying is important for many of us to hear. It's important we don't perpetuate abuse. But anger and it's expression as rage is completely understandable for us abuse survivors.
I was not allowed to be angry in my home as a child. No one but my father was allowed to become angry. I never learned how to express it in a healthy manner. And in fact, could not express anger, nor recognize when I was in fact angry until just a year ago. Containing the anger, which felt like it had been stored on the other side of a wall so such an extant that I felt almost possessed during it's expression... it did not feel like MY anger but instead seemed to be someone else's. There were moments that I was so consumed, it was all I could do not to destroy things around my house. I learned to beat a couple of pillows until I was exhausted.. and this exhaustion was for a while all that would calm me down.
And wanting to be aggressive... I relate!!!! When we weren't allowed, and first discover it in ourselves, it wants to be let out. It's also a defense mechanism... it's a way to separate ourselves from the pain of being helpless.
Take care of yourself. check out http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102/NSECTIONGROUP=2