I now hold all of the details of my husband's abuse and I ache for that little boy and I am in awe of my husband's strength.... but then there's that little issue of his infidelity.....
I would recommend weighing your love for him in light of those two issues, then go with the one that serves you most. And DON'T blame yourself for your choice.
You will be in my thoughts.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
now ... for another matter
... but I remain blown away by the selfish, cruel, hateful, egostistical men who have taken their childhood trauma and made US pay for it. I struggle to be loving and supportive and understanding and blah, blah, blah. The truth is that if the tables were turned, and it was you and me who acted out our childhood trauma (which we both have) on our husbands, they'd be LONG gone. So much for support. It's a woman's job to suck it up and give; it's a man's job to take. And take. And take.
Fortunately not ALL men are that way. My wife is also a survivor, and I have stood by her side since her disclosure, through all her "acting-out" - most of which I haven't even come close to doing.
as for "selfish, cruel, hateful, egostistical men who have taken their childhood trauma and made US pay for it"... well ... I'd personally rather have no
support than be "helped" by someone who thought I was any of those things because of lack of any understanding of the type
of pain this is, or what it does to our ability to cope. At this point a survivor may need
to be "selfish" to restore any
self-worth. And as for "cruel" or "hateful" ... might I suggest a mirror?
then last, but certainly not least:
I will remove this post, if it's troubling to sensitive minds.
...very understanding. fire a round into the crowd, then after someone is wounded or murdered, offer to take back the bullet.