OSA? I haven't really heard mention of this. I hear of SSA all the time on this board and how so many have it because of their CSA from a male. But what about Opposite Sexual Attraction? I know that there is no way in the world I can be the only damn one. I was raped by both males and females so who knows what it did to my young mind.

I don't really consider myself bi-, although I believe everyone has some degree of bi-sexual attraction, I am mostly gay. So for most of the CSA survivors they struggle with SSA because they are straight and they try to figure out how that all fits in their own lives.

For me it's OSA and it's not triggered very often at all, but it does happen from time to time. I've never encountered a burning desire to be with someone of the opposite sex while I have been in a relationship but it's bound to happen. I am a very faithful person but what if I slipped up and slept with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship with someone?

So for those of you who have SSA encounters and are in a straight relationship, how do you handle this? For me, it is rare and I just don't feel comfortable bringing this up with a partner. I mean seriously now “Hey, we've been dating for … time, I would like to lay a chick from time to time are you cool with this?” I mean Christ that would be a major curve ball in the relationship. But I also don't like cheating. So it's a dilemma.

BTW I'm not in a relationship at this time so I don't have to deal with this, but it is something I want to ease my mind about. I bring this up because I did see a woman yesterday that I could not keep my eyes off of and I certainly got wood which doesn't happen very often at all from a female. No I did not get laid, nor even tried, but hell the urge was there. Oddly, the only one night stand I have ever had was with a female. I find that odd because usually I have to know a person for a little time before I let them get near me sxually at all.

Any comments would be appreciated.

Alex

Hi Alex,

I am certain you are not the only one who experiences these feelings.

What came to mind was a post regarding sexual imprinting. Just becuase a person doesn't have an innate attraction to one sex or the other, doesn't mean they aren't attracted to them from time to time.

But sexual abuse, whether it happens in childhood, or adulthood, really makes a mess of things. People find themselves attracted, if only intermittantly, to the gender they wouldn't usually date.

I would ask Joe Kort. I am certain he can give you a much better answer.

But I would say, no, you are not alone.

Just like those of us with SSA, you will have to decide how you want to handle those feelings ... act on them, or not, and develop strategies should you decide not to act on them.

Above all, be honest and true to yourself.




Anomalous

Thank you very much Anomalous. I will ask Joe and see if he responds. There is no way other's don't deal with this from time to time. It is confusing and I'm sure it's imprinting from the abuse. Ultimately I am the one who decides how to deal with this.

I will certainly be honest and true with myself.

Alex