I've been through a lot of stuff like this. I'm wondering, Nate, how your BF is doing with what you told him? For me, pulling away to protect myself can be very self-fulfilling in that, it can look like people are withdrawing from me and "don't care" or "don't understand" or want to. So, I hope you are open to his concern and love for you Nate.
Also, abuse kind of infected my sexuality too and my (now ex) partner has complained how he feels he missed out on having me be more fully available to being "joyously sexual" (my words). He never knew what was going on behind it all though, neither did I. Still, I think it's not our fault we were abused and never helped with it, but it's our responsibility to work out all that it takes to be a good partner. For both of you. There's a middle ground to it.
I'm just saying, our partners perhaps have legitimate complaints for us about things we should work on.
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you