I was blessed (cursed?) with finding that I could withdraw into fantasy by shooting film/video. After watching Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and ET, and seeing the impact it had on me (and on others), I "acted out" by buying a super 8 camera when I was 8, and started living out my fantasy, creatively.
Little did I know that this would turn into a career that would sustain me, challenge me to grow, and connect me to the world at times. I freelance as a filmmaker, work as a technician in the film arts, and sometimes teach.
It has given me so much, this choice to pursue this dream of filmmaking. Initially it was an escape, and a few times, I came to conclude that it was a false hope, a false dream. But after coming to grips with abuse and CSA, I now see that this dream of mine kept me alive, and gave me hope where nothing else did.
A gift that 8 year old child gave to me, to make that decision.
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).