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#38825 - 01/31/03 05:42 PM A REAL Man
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Thinking about One Day At a Time's post I thought it might be neat to get some thoughts on what a real man is, in our opinions.

A real man recognizes and expresses a whole range of emotions.

A real man is kind, sensitive and caring.

A real man is happy he is male and respects and admires females.

A real man protects children.

A real man likes all the colors.

A real man enjoys art, literature and music.

A real man, if he is married, sees his wife as his equal.

A real man, if he is married, nurtures his children every bit as much as his wife.

A real man likes sports and other real men do not.

A real man participates in sports and other real men do not participate.

A real man is responsible. noble and honorable.

A real man has an open mind.

A real man helps people in need.

A real man develops his spiritual reality.

A real man asks for directions when he is lost.

A real man asks for help when he needs it.

A real man knows how to really listen.

A real man does not have to over achieve.

A real man can admit he is afraid.

A real man has values and is ready to proclaim and defend them.

A real man is a moral man.

A real man has a sense of humor and can make fun of himself when that is appropriate.

A real man is a good role model for boys.

A real man learns from huis mistakes rather than feel defeated by them.

A real man.........

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#38826 - 01/31/03 06:41 PM Re: A REAL Man
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I would add the following:
A real man wears his own sexuality comfortably and cherishes those that are near and dear to him.

A real man does not have to continually boast of nor demonstrate his manliness

I am not sure if playing sports defines a man but I will defer to others. It may be that he has a passion for healing or bringing joy to others because of a gift that he has. For example a composer, musician

A real man is true to others no through both the good and the bad.

A real man is ready to give without expectation.

A real man is considerate of the beliefs and feelings of others.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#38827 - 01/31/03 07:07 PM Re: A REAL Man
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I love these posts....

A real man - loads the dishwasher.

A real man - opens doors for a lady.

A real man - admits his mistakes.

A real man - laughs at his mistakes !

A real man - looks to the future.

A real man - learns from his past.

A real man - cleans up the cat crap.

A real man - thinks "macho" is crap.

A real man - just is....


Dave \:D

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#38828 - 02/01/03 02:08 AM Re: A REAL Man
orodo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 735
Loc: Imladris, The Safe Haven of Ar...
this real man does laundry, dishes, windows, washes floors, (your basic maid, valet, pool boy, mechanic, handyman, parent, lover, and more)cleans the pool, changes oil, irons his own shirts and teaches his kids to iron theirs (even tho it's hopeless) rotates tires, mows lawn, paints house, fixes everything, has a career and likes it, does everything to please everyone else, says "how high" when others ask him to jump, does everything his wife asks for before she even thinks she needs it,

BUT

why does it all still feel like not enough, and when is it my turn to get something for a change?

It would be nice to have a Sunday afternoon nap,alone, in peace and quiet. Or to go to a bar, with some guy friends, (with whom we've lost touch with over the years cuz the wife thinks they are "inappropriate, bad role models for you and your kids")and maybe just get shitfaced, or watch TV, or anything, alone, away from it all. A real man would recognize when he needs some "me" time, and know how to get it and take it. So i think i got a long way to go...

_________________________
It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

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#38829 - 02/01/03 03:58 PM Re: A REAL Man
Archnut Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 343
Loc: United Kingdom
Yep it has made me think

Real men do eat quiche! \:D

And all that was left was hope

Archnut


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#38830 - 02/01/03 06:28 PM Re: A REAL Man
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
For me the term "real man" is so loaded with negative conotations I use it only in a deragatory way. If I remove the word "real" from all of these posts I can see and hear other men's truths.


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#38831 - 02/01/03 08:59 PM Re: A REAL Man
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
From Menstuff.org

Some fair thoughts here I think. I gave a copy of this to the boys at my high school and the girls thru a fit at me saying it was sexist--maybe it should say People instead of Men....

Contributed by Lou Owen "I do not know the source. I came upon it years ago. I first saw it under the name "The good man project."

Relationship
Men teach and learn from others. Men coach and encourage. Men compliment. Men are peacemakers and negotiators. Men mediate, arbitrate and facilitate. Men comfort and nurture. Men enjoy solitude and companionship. Men are good friends. Men can keep a confidence. Men are faithful, sincere and decent. Men take pride in their achievements. Men try to make their community safe. Men are philanthropic and generous. Men are helpful, kind and thoughtful. Men are compassionate and sympathetic. Men cheer people up when they are down. Men are tender and gentle. Men are loving
Men debate and discuss. Men like fair play. Men like joking with others. Men entertain others. Men protect and rescue others from harm. Men sacrifice themselves for their family. Men sacrifice their lives for the greater good. Men co-operate. Men are good parents. Men lead others. Men are patient. Men are honorable. Men are honest. Men create laws to protect others. Men are tolerant and accepting of others. Men are good listeners. Men counsel. Men work together in a crisis. Men respect themselves and others. Men value all life and appreciate nature

Action
Men are decisive. Men get things done. Men are practical. Men are organizers. Men transform. Men like to fix things. Men motivate and inspire

Expression
Men are exuberant. Men are free-spirited and playful. Men are charismatic. Men like to celebrate. Men are spiritual. Men have deep feelings. Men are open and expressive. Men communicate directly. Men are witty. Men move people with their words. Men are passionate. Men enjoy sex. Men are artistic. Men create and build

Thought
Men question and seek knowledge. Men search for meaning in their lives. Men are resourceful, adaptable and flexible. Men try to create order in a chaotic world. Men are wise and understanding. Men like to know how things work. Men invent and innovate. Men like intellectual games and rules. Men hypothesize and solve problems. Men are analytical and strategic. Men are philosophical. Men are planners and forward thinkers. Men reason logically. Men are smart. Men keep things in perspective. Men hope for a better world

Strength
Men are responsible. Men provide security and stability. Men are self-reliant and independent. Men can endure great pain. Men can restrain themselves. Men are calm in a catastrophe. Men are resilient. Men are dependable and trustworthy. Men are courageous and heroic, Men stand up for what they believe. Men are solid, stoical and firm. Men fight for a good cause. Men are disciplined. Men admit to their mistakes. Men work with danger, dirt and discomfort. Men have stamina, drive and determination. Men focus and concentrate. Men are hard workers. Men use their power for the good of others

Physicality
Men are physically co-ordinated and agile. Men explore and discover. Men enjoy physical activity and games. Men like clowning around and having fun. Men take risks. Men like to hone their skills in competition. Men are physically strong

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#38832 - 02/05/03 07:10 PM Re: A REAL Man
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Last night I was talking to Orodo. I told him about this song and he posted it under music.

The song is called Silent Night for 911

http://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=7;t=000300

I would like to post it here and add:

A REAL MAN WILL SHOW EMOTION WHEN HE HEARS THIS SONG

http://www.wrel.com/silent_night.htm

At the bottom of this link is a link to download the song. It is a large file .... but it is worth it. I hope you are as moved as I was when I first heard it. Actually, every time I hear the song I am moved again.

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#38833 - 02/05/03 09:55 PM Re: A REAL Man
orodo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 735
Loc: Imladris, The Safe Haven of Ar...
Ok, so I sobbed a bit at the very end...

however, may I add something here...

not intending to start anything

REAL WOMEN PUMP THEIR OWN GAS

_________________________
It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

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#38834 - 02/05/03 10:00 PM Re: A REAL Man
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Orodo you could be in trouble. But maybe not, women seem to like to do everything men do. Unisex stuff and alll. Maybe we are evolving to a unisex kind of species??????????

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#38835 - 02/06/03 03:23 AM Re: A REAL Man
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Quote:
REAL WOMEN PUMP THEIR OWN GAS
My mother must NOT be a real Woman then. She always wants me to take her around town to run errands ..... and for some reason the car is always out of gas.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day. It said:

" If a man is in the woods alone .... and there is no woman around to hear him ..... Is he still wrong?"

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#38836 - 02/06/03 02:15 PM Re: A REAL Man
RJD Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
I usually hold the door for whoever is behind me, just as a common courtesy. To hold the door just for women seems to go out of my way to suggest women are incapable.

I tend to echo guy 43's sentiments. The qualifying term "real' suggests to me that there is something I could lose if I make the wrong step. I know in my life I often misstep, and to lose my value because of it seems absurd, but I find I buy into that way of thinking all too easy. I strive for integrity, but it is not just men who should do that. When I fail, I fail, I'm not less human, or man, I'm all too human.

I like the idea of generating self-affirmations.

I like art and I like creating art, and it feels defensive if I have to say, 'real men' create art too.

I struggled all my life to re-own my balls and I don't want to be put in a mental position to even question my rightful ownership. It is how I was born, and for much of my life I felt I was a mistake. If I were born a girl, my mother could feel safer around me. I wouldn't have this erection thing to mortify me in front of her etc. etc. etc....

I've even seen women have to defend their just ownership of their own ovaries. I saw a woman courageously give up custody of her own son, who she had been physically abusing, for his own safety. The quality of her motherhood/ womanhood came into question. She was hammered with, "What kind of a woman could give up her own child." No one seemed to care what was happening to the boy. I think I wish she was my mother who loved me that much.

I was born a boy.


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#38837 - 02/06/03 02:30 PM Re: A REAL Man
RJD Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
I once heard the statement by a woman(In a humorous moment), "Real woman piss in the shower and aren't afraid to admit it."

I repeated this statement at work one day, and a fellow male employee said," I do that too!" My impulse was to say,"So, does that make you a real woman?"

But I knew better than to ask that question.


Top
#38838 - 02/06/03 08:04 PM Re: A REAL Man
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I was lost in LA looking for highway 5 and it was getting dark. I could tell it wasn't the best neighbourhood but eventually pulled the car over to ask 3 young guys leaning on car for directions. the big guy took my pen and put a cross on the map to show where we were.
I looked at the map and thought "So this is Watts"

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#38839 - 02/06/03 08:55 PM Re: A REAL Man
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
I usually hold the door for whoever is behind me, just as a common courtesy. To hold the door just for women seems to go out of my way to suggest women are incapable.
Yes I agree, and from what I've observed a lot of women feel that way too. And men. I know I don't like doors being shut in my face.

Quote:
I tend to echo guy 43's sentiments. The qualifying term "real' suggests to me that there is something I could lose if I make the wrong step. I know in my life I often misstep, and to lose my value because of it seems absurd, but I find I buy into that way of thinking all too easy. I strive for integrity, but it is not just men who should do that. When I fail, I fail, I'm not less human, or man, I'm all too human.

I like the idea of generating self-affirmations.

I like art and I like creating art, and it feels defensive if I have to say, 'real men' create art too.
Yeah, I'm a man, and I'm the man I am.

Or as Popeye would say: "I yam's who I yam's and who I yam's who I yam's!"

"I'm Victor the Survivor! Toot Toot!"

(Just be glad you can't actually here me singing!)

Real men just do what they do, be who they are.

Quote:
I struggled all my life to re-own my balls and I don't want to be put in a mental position to even question my rightful ownership.
Well put my brotha! That is a classic line that will go down in the annals of MS lore! I love it!



Thanks bro!

Victor


_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#38840 - 02/06/03 09:03 PM Re: A REAL Man
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
I once heard the statement by a woman(In a humorous moment), "Real woman piss in the shower and aren't afraid to admit it."

I repeated this statement at work one day, and a fellow male employee said," I do that too!" My impulse was to say,"So, does that make you a real woman?"

But I knew better than to ask that question.

-------------------------------------------------

" A Real man asks for directions when he is lost"

Is he a real man if he only asks women for directions,just curious,When i am lost, i go to my map book or to yahoo for directions,more accurate then asking someone else who leads you on a wild goose chase.That's just me but go right on ahead and ask for directions especially in New York City,see where it gets you> Roflmao

------------------------------------------------

I was lost in LA looking for highway 5 and it was getting dark. I could tell it wasn't the best neighbourhood but eventually pulled the car over to ask 3 young guys leaning on car for directions. the big guy took my pen and put a cross on the map to show where we were.
I looked at the map and thought "So this is Watts"

-------------------------------------------------

Hey RJD, Hammer & Dave:



You guys have got me ROFLMAO!

Thanks I needed that!

Victor


_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#38841 - 02/06/03 09:30 PM Re: A REAL Man
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Victor, do you know the name of one of Ju8dge Judy's books? It truly is DON'T PEE ON MY FOOT AND TELL ME IT'S RAINING!

Pissing in the shower---yuk!

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#38842 - 02/07/03 12:00 AM Re: A REAL Man
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Yeah Bob...

...and what a book title! Gotta wonder what that one's about!

Victor


_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#38843 - 02/07/03 01:27 AM Re: A REAL Man
RJD Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
maybe my co-worker should get together with Judge Judy on a shower date?

If you knew him you would know that would definately be an interesting pairing.


Matt, I've gone to mapquest to get directions to my house just to see what it would say, and it was just amazing how they had me going home. I would have never found it if I didn't know any better. The mapping was fine, but the written directions were just amazing.


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#38844 - 02/07/03 08:00 AM Re: A REAL Man
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
maybe my co-worker should get together with Judge Judy on a shower date?

If you knew him you would know that would definately be an interesting pairing.
Tryin
to shake that picture out of my head! \:D

Quote:
Matt, I've gone to mapquest to get directions to my house just to see what it would say, and it was just amazing how they had me going home. I would have never found it if I didn't know any better. The mapping was fine, but the written directions were just amazing.
Adding that to my lists of reasons why this real man doesn't ask for directions...

Victor


_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#38845 - 02/07/03 12:48 PM Re: A REAL Man
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Was it the Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke who claimed that the leader of the opposition was "such a wimp he got out of the shower for a piss !" ?
That's how politics should be - mean and dirty \:D

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#38846 - 02/07/03 01:15 PM Re: A REAL Man
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
The thoughts about the shower thing reminded me of a comercial that I have seen quite a lot on T V lately. I think it is for SafeGaurd soap.

A guy dives into a swimming pool. He comes up for air and a voice of a little boy in the background says "Mommy ... I don't have to go potty anymore". The anouncer then says .."because you never know how clean you really are"

On the subject of asking for directions ... One day I did a search to see how the directions were for going from my house to my mothers house. It is about a 1 1/2 mile drive. ( she lives East of my house) I don't remember who I used for the directions. Anyway, It had me going north, around the airport, East for 4 miles, south for another 3 miles West for a mile... well you get the point. The total trip was 11.2 miles the way they had it planned. I did see what they were trying to do. They had me using ALL main roads in town, but even at that ... I did way to much backtracking. One thing it did .... it had me going by the mall ... maybe they thought I needed to do some shopping.

Take care,

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

Top
#38847 - 02/07/03 07:02 PM Re: A REAL Man
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Matt
[QUOTE] In todays day & age we just go to the onstar program in our vehicle,it answers everything you need to know & more. [/QUOTE ]

My old 85 Landcruiser has a navigation system, it's my wife !

Dave \:D

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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