Thank you, Forexpreneur!
I'm glad you're still with us too.
Amazing about the gun...
That "divine intervention" thing you mentioned - I believe that too - but it's such a riddle to me - why then and not other times? (i'm sure you know what i mean.) still haven't been able to come to grips with that one.
Thank you Lee. Absolutely agree with you about why then and not other times. I certainly could have done without the gang rape at 5 yo. That kind of caused me some pain that I still deal with.
Of course I could name quite a few other things like we all can. Hijack alert!
Not to hijack this post but I feel it's important to add this here. When I was in my teens, come to think of it not long after the gun incident, I HATED God. I proved you can swear to God and call him things you wouldn't want others to hear and would make them cringe, and still live and not be hated back.
I provoked him on more than one occaision. "If you're so f'n powerful strike me down now you SOB!!!" Of course it never happened because here I am. But I went even further than that. When nothing happened I screamed about what a low life piece of crap I thought he was and quite a few other things I won't mention. I had so much anger at that point that when I went off I think it was borderline mania in a different form with the things I said. I'm not talking just once either.
I know he has no hard feelings because I had an NDE from a drug reaction (just pot, nothing heavy)and when I realized that I was dead (was at the hospital at that time) I asked asked out loud if I was dead. Silly me, I just had to know. LOL.
I didn't see him but knew it was him, and in a calm voice he said it was my choice. It's obvious what I choose, but I asked him if he hated me. He very calmly said "No" and explained that he loved me. I never asked why all the crap happened for whatever reason but oh well. I'll know some other time.
I understand that a person will appreciate the peacefull times more after they have experienced rough times, but wow, for all of us CSA survivors things better be so dang peaceful that we'll be eating rainbows and pooping butterflies. LOL.