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#387833 - 02/29/12 06:59 PM 1st orgasm
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3379
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I've heard several people speculate or propose that the circumstances of one's first orgasm permanently solidifies or at least very strongly influences the sexual identity and self-image of the person. Does anyone know if there is anything substantial to back this up?

I don't know when my first was - but the first i *remember* was not under the best of circumstances (understatement!) and i would hate to think that one event had so much power over the rest of my life.

Before that 1st *remembered* one, i think i can recall several times waking up in the night feeling like i was having a "wet dream" - though i did not know what that was at the time. It was only later, looking back, i recognized the sensations and was able to put a name on it. But there was the arousal lead-up while i was asleep and then I seem to remember being semi-conscious and trying to suppress it because i was scared of how i was feeling and didn't know what was happening. And if my memory is accurate, i did prevent myself from having an ejaculation - woke up right before the climax - and was very anxious and uptight about the whole thing for some time afterwards.

Is this even possible - to hold it back by willing to not let go? And would this fear of losing control during an ejaculation have anything to do with later intimacy problems? Has anyone else ever heard of or experienced something like this?

Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#387835 - 02/29/12 07:17 PM Re: 1st orgasm [Re: traveler]
westchesterguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/13/09
Posts: 421
Loc: Westchester County NY
Originally Posted By: traveler
..Is this even possible - to hold it back by willing to not let go? And would this fear of losing control during an ejaculation have anything to do with later intimacy problems? Has anyone else ever heard of or experienced something like this?


three issues. yes it is possible to hold back, yes its possible to let go and yes its possible to let our dreams be our only sexual outlet. (i added that last bit.)

does it have anything to do with intimacy later in life? not sure. does it matter? if we never experience intimacy later in life, i think it won't matter. if that opportunity arises, well, why wouldn't it?

can someone actually pinpoint their first orgasm? i mean, you are asking that question as a mature adult who thinks in physical memory, black/white terms.... wasn't that whole evolution working up to the first male orgasm more or less a process? lots of wet dreams (whether we remembered or not) and rubbing alone, touching alone before anything actually happened?

i shy away from speculation.... i find it more palatable to accept what actually turns us on "today" in the here and now.

_________________________
Jeff

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#387841 - 02/29/12 07:55 PM Re: 1st orgasm [Re: westchesterguy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
I agree with Jeff, it is kind of myth that first orgasm is so important, plus it is too difficult to remember. Same goes for masturbation and thoughts that we have during those activities. Those are sources for lot of myths among men wink .
Holding back for me was something usual and I can't connect that to later intimacy problems. It is very common thing among boys and I think that everyone has been in some way discomforted in beginning. Later that become way to prolong ecstasy...

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#387864 - 02/29/12 11:49 PM Re: 1st orgasm [Re: traveler]
Forexpreneur Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 141
Loc: Uranus (hell no not yours. lol...
Originally Posted By: traveler
I've heard several people speculate or propose that the circumstances of one's first orgasm permanently solidifies or at least very strongly influences the sexual identity and self-image of the person. Does anyone know if there is anything substantial to back this up?


Hell dude if that was the case I'd be a true homosexual. I'd be sexually attracted to myself. LOL. The first orgasm I had was while playing with myself, at 10 yo. wink

I honestly have not seen any clinical research to back that idea up or disprove it. I am interested though because the first orgasm I had with a person was with another boy and I am gay. Maybe there is something to the idea, or it could be a coincidence.


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#387874 - 03/01/12 02:18 AM Re: 1st orgasm [Re: Forexpreneur]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 859
Loc: washington
When we speak of circumstance are we putting it in the context of csa...???

The first time I was too young, the second one I wasn't...(probably tmi).

I am not sure I could add anything that isn't pure speculation...

Probably not a good idea to make myself psychotic trying to answer, albeit a very good question.

I am not sure all questions need answers...


"The best revenge is living a good life".



I'm A Believer (The Monkees)

island

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#387912 - 03/01/12 01:06 PM Re: 1st orgasm [Re: 1islandboy]
Asmodeus Offline


Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 112
Loc: Vestavia, Alabama, USA
I don't see how a persons first orgasm could have anything to do with sexual orientation. Regardless of whatever predispositions we may have, sexual orientation develops somewhere between the ages of 10 and 13 even if a person never masturbates during that time.

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I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake.

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