Hey Little big man,
I didn't have such parents as you've had your father. But while I was at college I was sent occasionally to my uncle who was ruler of his household by fear and rage. I've used to be very relaxed till he would show up after work. I've known that he would send me to field and for some work no matter what are weather conditions outside. That was his way to "teach" me about real life and world. To him I was always to fragile intellectual type of man who should be taught how to be a man by force. And if he was in bad temper he would yell no matter what reason is at all of us there. We later found that he has had PTSD. Anyway I'm furious at myself because I've let him over-control me in almost sadistic way. Fortunately I've used to live there for just three my worst years. I'm avoiding visiting my uncle's family because of that. If I've seen him in bad temper his behavior brings huge rage inside me. But I would propose you to do one thing.
Have you thought about writing letter to your dad?
No matter if he is not among living beings anymore. Maybe that could bring some inner peace back. You should write for your own good about all issues that you have had with him. Let him knows that you are capable of standing for yourself and that you would protect that fragile boy from past. Let him know what did he do to you. Don't be merciful, bring all your buried feelings and rage out in that letter. Yell at him with all your force, let him be scared. Tell him what kind of man he used to be and send him with your last farewell to hell...
Pardon me, I'm very angry to that kind of people and their mistreatment of others...That is thing that I would do in your place.
Be Well my brother survivor and don't be scared of that man. Tell that person that you can hear yelling with rage inside you that there are other brothers survivors who could come and protect you if he will be nasty and too loud