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#387261 - 02/25/12 08:07 PM Newbie first day here
tohui Offline


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 15
Loc: N Las Vegas NV
Ok so i dont talk about my personal life with anybody, today was totally new terretory for me. I placed a general post on the introduction part then I started to look around amd OMG!! Here I am thinking it was only me that there is no way anyone else could have possibly gone through this. I am so sorry for what all of you have gone through I would never wish it on anybody. Now as I read I have questions on top of questions and then more questions for the questions Im asking, I cannot control my head, it's spinning! I never spoke with anyone and I accepted what happened it has shaped who I am and honestly I have no Idea who that is now, memories and feelings are comming out and I dont know how to unscramble them all. Thank you all who have posted their stories here. It make me sad to know that I am not alone and at the same time relief to know someone understands.


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#387269 - 02/25/12 09:00 PM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: tohui]
nevragan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
Welcome Tohui,
Take your time as this stuff is not easy to deal with. Look around and give yourself breaks from it so your not overwhelmed. I was in your shoes when I first got here also. It will get better with work and time. You are among a great crew here. Welcome home and I'm sorry for all that happened to you but you found the right place to start healing. Be kind to yourself in the process. If you have any questions, we are here to help out so don't hesitate.


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#387278 - 02/25/12 09:57 PM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: nevragan]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 407
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Welcome once again. You have finally found a home with guys, and their supporters (some men, some women), who care only about your healing.

_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#387308 - 02/26/12 03:38 AM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: Jim1104]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3355
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Tohui -
you are among friends...
We understand!
Lee

_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#387309 - 02/26/12 04:25 AM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: tohui]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 395
Loc: west coast

welcome bro
your words are well thought out and from the heart. Thats all you can ask of yourself.

This is a brilliant place to start the journay. Just know its part of the process. It's NOT enuf. You need to find a T or group that can help, that has experience in dealing with issues and emotions that are specific to us.

The empathy you will feel here is second to none. The biggest thing you will find is that patterns and ideas that you always thought were just part of you are keeping you from being the real you.

Originally Posted By: tohui
Here I am thinking it was only me that there is no way anyone else could have possibly gone through this. I am so sorry for what all of you have gone through I would never wish it on anybody.


Keep working and your head will slow down, the intrusive thoughts just a din and the real little boy so buried in guilt, anguish and soul peeling shame will emerge so much stronger than you ever imagined. You're a tough fuck. we all are.

Grant

_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

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#387317 - 02/26/12 06:08 AM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: 1lifenow]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Tohui as you can clearly see you are not alone and we are here to help. Just let us know what we can do to help you. Mike


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#387385 - 02/26/12 03:48 PM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: mike13]
tohui Offline


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 15
Loc: N Las Vegas NV
Thank you all I'm still not sure what I'm looking for or what I need. I'm extremely confused right now and I'm trying not to be my head hurts from all this thinking and my heart aches. As soon as I fugure out a few thing I'll be sure to ask for the help. Thank you al very much!


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#387389 - 02/26/12 04:13 PM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: tohui]
brother2none Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/30/09
Posts: 265
Loc: Undisclosed
Red flag... "As soon as I figure out some things ill ask for help." That did not work for me, not then not now still. In fact I continue to not ask for help 9 times out of 10. Now that you are here on ms, experiment with asking for help. I will try to help you and as you see many others have and will help you. Welcome.


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#387393 - 02/26/12 05:22 PM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: tohui]
Forexpreneur Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 141
Loc: Uranus (hell no not yours. lol...
Welcome tohui. The feeling that you are alone is so typical for us males and we all know what you are going through to one degree or another.

You will find this to be a very safe place to vent and share during your healing process brother. Don't hold back at all, let the crap out and heal yourself. There is very little that offends us here, and even then, it is your RIGHT to voice your anger or beliefs about things that have happened to you and how it has shaped your life.

Best wishes on your healing journey brother. I'm glad you found this board. Too many don't, and there are far more of us than I think any of us could have imagined. We do have a voice now and have found a place where others do understand, because all though what happened to us and how it has shaped our lives is different for each of us, we all have major themes in common.

Alex



Edited by Forexpreneur (02/26/12 05:23 PM)

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#387394 - 02/26/12 05:30 PM Re: Newbie first day here [Re: brother2none]
tohui Offline


Registered: 02/25/12
Posts: 15
Loc: N Las Vegas NV
Thank I would love to ask a question I just don't exactly know what. I know the how's and the why's I just don't know how much it has affected me, how much of my personality is me or what has been imposed on me. How I treat myself why do I try myself this way, and why do I treat other a certain way? I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to know more facts before I ask them. Am I talking crazy here? Thanks to someone named Sam I now know I'm a Hipersensitive or highly sensitive something like that. Anyways now I'm reading up on that at least now I know why I can't keep a relationship. I scare of the girls and why I have to test them to be positively sure they are right for me by then they get tired of me. Hey it's a start. Thanks guys!


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